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sdnlidnc

Member
Apr 18, 2025
34
In the past few days, I've tried to support myself with the narrative of escaping China. But when I realized the amount of effort I would have to put in, the time it would take in the future, and the time already wasted due to brainwashing education, I started to wonder—what's the point?


First, it's undeniable that exploitation exists in nearly every government. So if I study abroad to escape China, can I just see it as moving from a place with severe exploitation to one where the exploitation is relatively milder? That doesn't really change the essence of it. So why keep going? Why not just set a date for myself, truly enjoy life for a while, and then end it—rather than trapping myself in an endless logic of living just to survive?


I've been fighting against this logic, and it's seriously impacting my agency. Because I can't be certain whether I'll ultimately decide to leave or not. If I decide to leave, then there's no point in maintaining my current life. But if I decide to stay, then I have to start over right now and manage everything again.


Ultimately, I can't grasp the meaning in all of this. Or perhaps it's just a terrible choice either way: to accept ongoing pain and live on for a long time, or to simply accept the end and suffer less.
China is friendly to those who don't think—people have food, entertainment to numb themselves with, isn't that enough? But for me, it really doesn't feel like enough. Maybe my expectations for quality of life are too high—but then again, maybe they're not. I only wish to have access to some high-end equipment I'm interested in, like a relatively advanced 3D printer, and a desktop computer with a good graphics card so I can run AI models locally.


As for food, clothing, and housing, my demands are really low—I don't ask for high quality, just something better than what China had back in the last century.


In China, the obsession with money in society makes me deeply uncomfortable. Maybe in some countries, the culture isn't like this—but so what? I'm truly exhausted. I don't know if I have enough confidence or energy to establish a life abroad. I believe I have the ability to do it, but... honestly, I'm just so tired. I just want to sleep—and never wake up.
 
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timf

Enlightened
Mar 26, 2020
1,346
An English writer James Clavell had been a prisoner of the Japanese in WWII. He wrote a series of fictional history about China and Japan in an attempt to contrast Western and Eastern cultures. He would describe the Chinese as having six different faces and none of them true. This perhaps touches on a core concept, truth.

China is the country with the highest average IQ. Some people think humans are evolving to higher levels. Others think that there is something intrinsically wrong with humans. We can observe that we are all born helpless, ignorant, and selfish. One might expect that a country with greater ability would find people being more brutal to each other. The history of China has instances of extreme brutality. It is understandable that people would conduct themselves in a way to avoid brutal encounters and thus not openly reveal what they truly thought.

For a mind that seeks truth and to understand, sheep-like complacency can be intolerable. I would suggest looking into various fields of philosophy and religion. These might give a sample from which you might find a thread of truth that could offer a nugget or two of truth to follow.

I do not know much about Chinese philosophy other than Tao and Confucianism. Buddhism seems to offer Nirvana as the result of conquering desire but that sounds a little like deadening oneself. The Greek philosophers do not seem able to come to a conclusion. I found Christianity useful, but one has to dig through so much baloney it can be difficult. Almost all philosophies are encrusted with human contributions that are less than helpful.

I found a Christian web site that wasn't too bad https://christianpioneer.com/101.htm

If you can find others also interested in sort of philosophical inquiry, it can be rewarding to have others that are similarly inclined to bounce ideas off of. If consumptive entertainment and materialism do not satisfy, one can find the discovery of new thoughts engaging. Some even find enthusiasm for helping others.
 
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sdnlidnc

Member
Apr 18, 2025
34
An English writer James Clavell had been a prisoner of the Japanese in WWII. He wrote a series of fictional history about China and Japan in an attempt to contrast Western and Eastern cultures. He would describe the Chinese as having six different faces and none of them true. This perhaps touches on a core concept, truth.

China is the country with the highest average IQ. Some people think humans are evolving to higher levels. Others think that there is something intrinsically wrong with humans. We can observe that we are all born helpless, ignorant, and selfish. One might expect that a country with greater ability would find people being more brutal to each other. The history of China has instances of extreme brutality. It is understandable that people would conduct themselves in a way to avoid brutal encounters and thus not openly reveal what they truly thought.

For a mind that seeks truth and to understand, sheep-like complacency can be intolerable. I would suggest looking into various fields of philosophy and religion. These might give a sample from which you might find a thread of truth that could offer a nugget or two of truth to follow.

I do not know much about Chinese philosophy other than Tao and Confucianism. Buddhism seems to offer Nirvana as the result of conquering desire but that sounds a little like deadening oneself. The Greek philosophers do not seem able to come to a conclusion. I found Christianity useful, but one has to dig through so much baloney it can be difficult. Almost all philosophies are encrusted with human contributions that are less than helpful.

I found a Christian web site that wasn't too bad https://christianpioneer.com/101.htm

If you can find others also interested in sort of philosophical inquiry, it can be rewarding to have others that are similarly inclined to bounce ideas off of. If consumptive entertainment and materialism do not satisfy, one can find the discovery of new thoughts engaging. Some even find enthusiasm for helping others.
To be honest, I find it strange because it seems like almost everyone is telling me to study philosophy, as if what I say and think is related to philosophy. However, I've never really studied philosophy and I'm not interested in academic philosophy. I also don't believe that studying philosophy will help me put food on the table, even though my material needs are not very high. The problem now is that I often fall into nihilism, unable to understand the meaning of life. But I can hold on, as long as no external pressure is applied to me. I can amuse myself, after all, there are so many interesting things in the world to learn. Unfortunately, this land doesn't allow me to live like this, and that's one of the sources of my pain. I've lived in China for a long time, and although my understanding of history and philosophy is quite limited, I feel extremely bad here. Even though I can meet some kind people in life, once money is involved, everyone changes. I believe that even if the social atmosphere is bad, one can still protect themselves within the framework of family. Unfortunately, I haven't truly felt love. My parents are not qualified; their love, from my perspective, is hard to accept. It's the love passed down through generations of Chinese culture, and I really cannot tolerate it.
An English writer James Clavell had been a prisoner of the Japanese in WWII. He wrote a series of fictional history about China and Japan in an attempt to contrast Western and Eastern cultures. He would describe the Chinese as having six different faces and none of them true. This perhaps touches on a core concept, truth.

China is the country with the highest average IQ. Some people think humans are evolving to higher levels. Others think that there is something intrinsically wrong with humans. We can observe that we are all born helpless, ignorant, and selfish. One might expect that a country with greater ability would find people being more brutal to each other. The history of China has instances of extreme brutality. It is understandable that people would conduct themselves in a way to avoid brutal encounters and thus not openly reveal what they truly thought.

For a mind that seeks truth and to understand, sheep-like complacency can be intolerable. I would suggest looking into various fields of philosophy and religion. These might give a sample from which you might find a thread of truth that could offer a nugget or two of truth to follow.

I do not know much about Chinese philosophy other than Tao and Confucianism. Buddhism seems to offer Nirvana as the result of conquering desire but that sounds a little like deadening oneself. The Greek philosophers do not seem able to come to a conclusion. I found Christianity useful, but one has to dig through so much baloney it can be difficult. Almost all philosophies are encrusted with human contributions that are less than helpful.

I found a Christian web site that wasn't too bad https://christianpioneer.com/101.htm

If you can find others also interested in sort of philosophical inquiry, it can be rewarding to have others that are similarly inclined to bounce ideas off of. If consumptive entertainment and materialism do not satisfy, one can find the discovery of new thoughts engaging. Some even find enthusiasm for helping others.
The education I received in China, from my understanding, is that the government only wants to cultivate obedient students, not anything else. When I realized how absurd these past few years of education were, I almost broke down. Now, all I can do is solve problems; I don't have any skills that can be used for survival. Even though I've gone to university, you have to understand that universities in China are really mediocre. I don't think I'll be able to find a job in the competitive job market in the future. In fact, I even wonder if China will experience turmoil in the near future, especially with the worsening economic situation.
An English writer James Clavell had been a prisoner of the Japanese in WWII. He wrote a series of fictional history about China and Japan in an attempt to contrast Western and Eastern cultures. He would describe the Chinese as having six different faces and none of them true. This perhaps touches on a core concept, truth.

China is the country with the highest average IQ. Some people think humans are evolving to higher levels. Others think that there is something intrinsically wrong with humans. We can observe that we are all born helpless, ignorant, and selfish. One might expect that a country with greater ability would find people being more brutal to each other. The history of China has instances of extreme brutality. It is understandable that people would conduct themselves in a way to avoid brutal encounters and thus not openly reveal what they truly thought.

For a mind that seeks truth and to understand, sheep-like complacency can be intolerable. I would suggest looking into various fields of philosophy and religion. These might give a sample from which you might find a thread of truth that could offer a nugget or two of truth to follow.

I do not know much about Chinese philosophy other than Tao and Confucianism. Buddhism seems to offer Nirvana as the result of conquering desire but that sounds a little like deadening oneself. The Greek philosophers do not seem able to come to a conclusion. I found Christianity useful, but one has to dig through so much baloney it can be difficult. Almost all philosophies are encrusted with human contributions that are less than helpful.

I found a Christian web site that wasn't too bad https://christianpioneer.com/101.htm

If you can find others also interested in sort of philosophical inquiry, it can be rewarding to have others that are similarly inclined to bounce ideas off of. If consumptive entertainment and materialism do not satisfy, one can find the discovery of new thoughts engaging. Some even find enthusiasm for helping others.
I feel that the clues to the truth are already right here. When I was a student, I realized that China's system, one that is accountable upwards but not downwards, can only give birth to tragedy. I am powerless to change it.
 
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timf

Enlightened
Mar 26, 2020
1,346
Many college students in the US become inculcated with a sense of mission. In a way it it can almost be religious zealotry. I think the college age is ripe to exploit this way. That you have been able to step out of the main current making people almost compliant robots is a testimony to your ability to resist conformity.

Many college and post college students can react to the realization of a disconnection from life come to a point of Nihilism. I wasn't suggesting an academic study of philosophy but rather an assessment of various philosophic traditions. For example the Greeks had hedonism, Epicureanism, and stoicism. In summary hedonism is a candle lit at both ends. Epicureanism is a candle lit at one end. Stoicism is a candle lit to help others see. Academic study wastes years before a philosophy student even gets so far as to understand this.

Stoicism is the most difficult because it requires people to act virtuously against their own nature. This is similar to the difficulty with Buddhism which also advocates the sublimation of self. The problem is that our natures In the face of Nihilism one usually has to chose between investing themselves in a distracting routine of daily life or the numbing effect of various indulgences.

Buddhists come close to understanding human nature through their attempts to suppress desire. However, suppression is seldom achievable. What is needed is transformation. If desire for self can be replaced with a desire to help others. One can see a little of this need in nature humans need each other, but our selfishness drives us away from each other. When people marry and start a family the selfish demands of children almost force two people to have to abandon some of their own selfishness to care for their children.

As I understand it college education was restarted after the Cultural Revolution, At first only about 4% of high school students went to college. Now it is about 50%. If China is like the US a college education does not confer much in the way of training or ability. Mostly it is a door through which the ambitious can make connections to advance themselves.

If you want to do something practical you can learn a trade like welding, mechanics, or electronics. Society cannot be changed. It is always run by others for their purposes. The best we can hope for is to carve our a niche in life in which to have a happy home and raise children to have abetter advantage than we had.

I would recommend Christianity to you, but it is so poorly presented and so few Christians even understand its transformative potential that almost anyone you ask will simply give you confusing information.

As I understand it, there are many manufacturing companies in China. It may be possible to work in electronics assembly or testing and be able to switch to another company as you learn more and more. I have not met anyone who has been to college who has not been harmed by the experience in one way or another. At the end of life what you have, what you did, and how important you are mean nothing. Who you have loved and who loves you are much more important. By living for others you find the path to true happiness.
 
derpyderpins

derpyderpins

Pollyanna, loon, believer in love, believer in you
Sep 19, 2023
2,042
First, it's undeniable that exploitation exists in nearly every government. So if I study abroad to escape China, can I just see it as moving from a place with severe exploitation to one where the exploitation is relatively milder?
Uhh, it's not relatively milder. The CCP still throws Uyghurs in detention camps, actual literal forced slavery/servitude.

A lot of places got rid of that "slavery" thing, believing it to suck ass.

It's hard to really describe and discuss, though, because the censorship is so severe I don't know what information is really available to you. btw if any ccp peeps are monitoring this place the Tiananmen Square Masacre happened, where your brutal government ran over your own citizens with tanks for protesting, and Taiwan exists.

The education I received in China, from my understanding, is that the government only wants to cultivate obedient students, not anything else.

I have problems with school in the US for similar reasons, but cultivating obedient students is about cultivating obedient, unquestioning adult citizens. China is on a completely different level, though.

Personally, independence is necessary for me to have purpose. I must be living and experiencing the world on my own terms. Of course there has to be some rules and government and society and stuff, but in general I want my independence to be favored. Living in bondage would be worse than death to me and it's not close, even if the life was relatively good. (Well, mental bondage, kek. There can be some consensual stuff in private).
 

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