What are the consequences of not giving the location of my death in my letter?

[Close_to_freedom]

I would leave out the location because I really want it to be unknown. Ideally, I wouldn't write a note at all, but my parents deserve some closure.

I wanted to wait until they both had died, but they're in their 70s and still going. I'm not planning to wait much longer.

 

[FluffyDove]

I think its easier for loved ones to have a body to bury so they can have some closure and mourn, have a funeral etc. If they dont find you, they will always be wondering what happened and probably hoping that one day you will turn up.

But still, it's your choice. I hope you find peace. X

 

[Close_to_freedom]

I think its easier for loved ones to have a body to bury so they can have some closure and mourn, have a funeral etc. If they dont find you, they will always be wondering what happened and probably hoping that one day you will turn up.

But still, it's your choice. I hope you find peace. X

My body would be extremely broken. It would traumatize them.

 

[FluffyDove]

My body would be extremely broken. It would traumatize them.

What is your method, if you don't mind me asking?

 

[Close_to_freedom]

What is your method, if you don't mind me asking?

Jumping

 

[FluffyDove]

Jumping

I would imagine emergency services would deal with it and probably not let your parents see you if its messy. Maybe you could send a delayed email to your local police and let them know the location? Just so your parents have that closure.

 

[Close_to_freedom]

I would imagine emergency services would deal with it and probably not let your parents see you if its messy. Maybe you could send a delayed email to your local police and let them know the location? Just so your parents have that closure.

I don't understand why the location is important for them to know. The note would clarify that I'm dead.

 

[FluffyDove]

I don't understand why the location is important for them to know. The note would clarify that I'm dead.

You do what you feel is best for you. If you don't want to be found then don't leave a location. Its just as a parent myself, I'd want something to bury.

 

[Close_to_freedom]

You do what you feel is best for you. If you don't want to be found then don't leave a location. Its just as a parent myself, I'd want something to bury.

They can bury their guilt because it's not their fault.

 

[autumnal]

I don't understand why the location is important for them to know. The note would clarify that I'm dead.

So you mean you want to jump somewhere where your remains are never found? Or are found, but can't be identified? Because both of these options are pretty unlikely, especially the second one.

However, in the event that your remains were never found, it would be a lot more complex to have you declared as dead solely from a suicide note, and would probably require a coroner's investigation to make that kind of ruling. Which wouldn't be pleasant for your parents either.

My body would be extremely broken. It would traumatize them.

No, your suicide is the part which would traumatise them. The condition of your body is really just the icing on the cake.

 

[Close_to_freedom]

So you mean you want to jump somewhere where your remains are never found? Or are found, but can't be identified? Because both of these options are pretty unlikely, especially the second one.

However, in the event that your remains were never found, it would be a lot more complex to have you declared as dead solely from a suicide note, and would probably require a coroner's investigation to make that kind of ruling. Which wouldn't be pleasant for your parents either.



No, your suicide is the part which would traumatise them. The condition of your body is really just the icing on the cake.

How does a coroner's investigation work?

Third option: body is found and identified but never linked to my parents so they would never know. I don't have their address or number in my car

 

[RayoSinSol]

Well...if you choose to die in a remote, natural location and leave no way to find your body, your body is likely to be fully or partially devoured by wildlife, before the rest slowly decomposes in open air.

Some people are fine with such a prospect and even plan on it; others would prefer something else be done with their remains. Either way you won't be inhabiting your body anymore, so it's a bit of a moot point for you.

Might carry some legal problems for anyone you're close with, if you go missing and then your remains are found later. Don't want anyone to get suspected of a crime they didn't commit! That might be one potential hang-up.

Probably best to at least leave some notice that you killed yourself rather than having been murdered or kidnapped.

P.S. I LOVE the series that your profile picture is from. Might go rewatch it now. It's a really good commentary on modern life.

 

[Close_to_freedom]

Well...if you choose to die in a remote, natural location and leave no way to find your body, your body is likely to be fully or partially devoured by wildlife, before the rest slowly decomposes in open air.

Some people are fine with such a prospect and even plan on it; others would prefer something else be done with their remains. Either way you won't be inhabiting your body anymore, so it's a bit of a moot point for you.

Might carry some legal problems for anyone you're close with, if you go missing and then your remains are found later. Don't want anyone to get suspected of a crime they didn't commit! That might be one potential hang-up.

P.S. I LOVE the series that your profile picture is from. Might go rewatch it now. It's a really good commentary on modern life.

My body would be discovered most likely. It'd be at the bottom of a bridge.

 

[RayoSinSol]

My body would be discovered most likely. It'd be at the bottom of a bridge.

Yeah, then, like I said (after editing), whether or not you want your body to be found, it's probably best to at least leave a note so that the authorities won't be investigating a potential crime, rather than just knowing it's a suicide. Don't have to leave a location- just a handwritten or video recorded testament that you are planning to end your own life, so that no one else gets questioned or investigated for a crime that didn't happen.
An automated email or text message sent to someone from a personal device of yours, after your death, might even do the trick.

 

[Close_to_freedom]

Yeah, then, like I said (after editing), whether or not you want your body to be found, it's probably best to at least leave a note so that the authorities won't be investigating a potential crime, rather than just knowing it's a suicide. Don't have to leave a location- just a handwritten or video recorded testament that you are planning to end your own life, so that no one else gets questioned or investigated for a crime that didn't happen.
An automated email or text message sent to someone from a personal device of yours, after your death, might even do the trick.

I was already planning on writing a letter.

 

[autumnal]

How does a coroner's investigation work?

Third option: body is found and identified but never linked to my parents so they would never know. I don't have their address or number in my car

It's not hard at all to link your identified body back to your parents. There are any number of records and databases to make that connection, not least birth records, and for them then to be notified by default as your next of kin.

And that third option you give would be the most hurtful for your parents and lack any kind of closure. Please have a look at my detailed comments on this here, as well as that whole thread for various opinions on that scenario.

A coroner's investigation would involve a coroner reviewing all the evidence, as assisted by police, and possibly interviewing witnesses, friends, relatives and experts to make a determination that, despite your body never having been found, the most likely outcome is that you are dead. I believe there are often set periods you have to be missing for before death can be ruled, which would also stall closure for your parents.

 

[Aap]

Your parents will have to know you are dead (body found) in order to have ANY sense of closure. In the situation where you leave a note but have no body to be found, your parents will not accept you are dead. What if you were kidnapped? What if someone made you write it? What if you are in a coma somewhere? I'm not saying these are likely events or even that they are rational, but grief isn't always rational. Your parents will live for years with the cruel hope you will just walk through the door.

in the US, it's generally 7 years before you can be declared legally dead. Your body does not have to be viewed by your parents.

 

[Close_to_freedom]

Your parents will have to know you are dead (body found) in order to have ANY sense of closure. In the situation where you leave a note but have no body to be found, your parents will not accept you are dead. What if you were kidnapped? What if someone made you write it? What if you are in a coma somewhere? I'm not saying these are likely events or even that they are rational, but grief isn't always rational. Your parents will live for years with the cruel hope you will just walk through the door.

in the US, it's generally 7 years before you can be declared legally dead. Your body does not have to be viewed by your parents.

You know what? I don't care anymore. Fuck their feelings. Only mine matter.

 

[Aap]

Ok, I'm out

 

[autumnal]

You know what? I don't care anymore. Fuck their feelings. Only mine matter.

OK, wow. That's quite a turnaround from not wanting to traumatise them or blame them for your suicide...

Ok, I'm out