Ambivalent1
šµ Be all, end all šµ
- Apr 17, 2023
- 3,279
-
If you haven't yet, we highly encourage you to check out our Recovery Resources thread!
DeathSleep
Unstable Potato
- May 25, 2023
- 239
Do you have a specific scenario? Or in general?
I think healthy boundaries are when all parties feel safe/content. You don't feel like you're being used/abused and you're not using/abusing them. As for enforcing them... stick to "I" statements. Such as "I feel _____ when you ____". That way you're not accusing/blaming them and they won't be as defensive. You're simply stating how their actions are making you feel. Which is valid. Your feelings are valid. And be open and honest about it. People who care about you will take note and work to rectify the situation. People who don't seem to care I would try to distance myself from.
I hope this helps. If you have a scenario in mind we could work through that too.
Edit: oh and healthy boundaries to have would be like, for me, being able to say "no". I struggle with that. If something makes me uncomfortable I can say "no". That is ok. And those who don't respect that I should be weary of.
I think healthy boundaries are when all parties feel safe/content. You don't feel like you're being used/abused and you're not using/abusing them. As for enforcing them... stick to "I" statements. Such as "I feel _____ when you ____". That way you're not accusing/blaming them and they won't be as defensive. You're simply stating how their actions are making you feel. Which is valid. Your feelings are valid. And be open and honest about it. People who care about you will take note and work to rectify the situation. People who don't seem to care I would try to distance myself from.
I hope this helps. If you have a scenario in mind we could work through that too.
Edit: oh and healthy boundaries to have would be like, for me, being able to say "no". I struggle with that. If something makes me uncomfortable I can say "no". That is ok. And those who don't respect that I should be weary of.
Last edited:
I think it really depends on both the scenario and the person; but generally speaking, healthy boundaries are when you know what makes you uncomfortable.
for example, i don't allow physical touch without my consent - sounds obvious, but i mean even touches like tapping me on the shoulder and such, since these overstim me easily and make me irritated.
Maybe somebody prefers to avoid specific subjects when talking. Maybe somebody says "no" to an offer and the others try to keep pushing them into doing the thing they disagreed to do - these are all personal boundaries.
it's important to let the others around you know what your limits are. And if somebody corpses one of them on accident, without malicious intent, it's good to just let them know that it upset you and explain why.
for example, i don't allow physical touch without my consent - sounds obvious, but i mean even touches like tapping me on the shoulder and such, since these overstim me easily and make me irritated.
Maybe somebody prefers to avoid specific subjects when talking. Maybe somebody says "no" to an offer and the others try to keep pushing them into doing the thing they disagreed to do - these are all personal boundaries.
it's important to let the others around you know what your limits are. And if somebody corpses one of them on accident, without malicious intent, it's good to just let them know that it upset you and explain why.
