Discussion What advice would you give for a psychedelic inner child healing session?! (serious question...) for the faciltator/trip sitter

[LittleJem]

Dear all

The TLDR summary/questions are:
- what guidance would you give a friend who has never taken psychedelics if they were happy to sit with you and look after you while you trip
- is there any way they could guide the journey perhaps to help me reconnect with grief and emotions I blocked in my childhood due to abuse/trauma?

The long version is below!

Someone I know has seen how ill I have been and for how long and I have been talking to her about sitting for me while I take a big dose of mushrooms. I have taken them before and don't always find them pleasant, but they have had no lasting bad effects.

I've been reading about their success with depression on the Beckley Foundation website and also have read that they help depression more if you can have an a) emotional release or b) a transcendental experience of oneness.

I have never had such an experience on any psychedelic. I also am not able to feel emotions at all, unless I am on drugs, and I think there is a lot of buried grief in me and trauma. I don't know if it's the trauma that made me stop feeling as a very young child - as my childhood was about survival and it wasn't safe to cry.

My friend who will sit with me is warm and maternal and I'm hoping the mushrooms this time might be able to open my heart and make me cry. That's what I would really like. It might just be wishful thinking though! In an ideal world, I'd find a way to go back to my childhood and cry about it.

Do you think there is a way to guide the trip while on mushrooms to go back to childhood and process it? Or should I just 'surrender' to the mushrooms and see where they take me, but just have her sit with me as someone who cares about me?

(by the way this friend does owe me a favour in case you are thinking poor friend! And she does also love me...I know I am lucky to have her. She is not experienced with pscyhedelics herself so I need to give her some guidance, and if the trip turned bad I would give her an emergency contact number of my long-suffering boyfriend who would then come and sort me out/give me tranquilisers or something. I think I will also have a tranquiliser on hand to stop the trip. That is what they do in the clinical trials, though none of the trial participants used the tranquiliser, they all stayed out the trip.

 

[signifying nothing]

I would say that once you're in the trip just let it take you where it wants to go and not try to force anything.

Perhaps having a maternal like figure of your friend there with you will be enough to evoke emotional associations and/or release? Maybe you could have some time before the trip to just talk about things to guide you towards the emotional space you're trying to reach, which might then provide a suitable starting point for the trip?

Just some thoughts. I have some experience of connecting with childhood trauma with a therapist, but not involving psychedelics. I hope it goes well for you, whatever you try.

 

[timf]

LSD is usually four hours going up and eight hours coming down. It also can come with a sort of "speedy" fist clenching. Mushrooms don't have the "speedy" feel and it is generally more mellow.

You might not want to force memories or try to recall things. This can tarnish the experience. You might want to just go for a ride with a psychedelic picture book and music like the early Moody Blues.

You might find the "connecting with childhood trauma" you seek does not provide the release you imagine. The effects of trauma can manifest as;

1. Rebellion - fighting against all comers.
2. Inhibition - fear of possibilities.
3. Disconnection - difficulty in relating to others.
4. Loss of innocence - seeing the darker reality of the world.
5. Empathy - increased sensitivity to the feelings of others.
6. Shame - feeling like "damaged goods".

Most effective therapies deal with a present condition going forward. Little is gained by reliving past trauma and there is a significant risk of feeding bitterness which can poison a life.

If you are going on a trip, you may just wish to enjoy the trip and perhaps see it as a way to transcend the past.

 

[LittleJem]

Thank you - I have 1 - definitely used to fight the suffering and the trauma, even though I couldn't control it, and also tried to be tough and strong when I was really vulnerable. Disconnection, definitely. Empathy, I can't feel it - don't know if that's autism.

I don't feel the past really anymore - I did a lot of anger stuff years ago like punching pillows. Now I don't feel anything much and I don't talk about it anymore. Like I had so much therapy and it never helped me.

I'm not saying the trip will help - I'm just wondering if it can unblock my feelings, but maybe I don't have them or the right chemistry for them.

thanks for your words and wishes to all

 

[Thegoldenapples]

I would be out in nature and have music. A few drinks beforehand would be good. Will relax your body a little. A quiet park or bush walk. Take a rug so you can sit down somewhere nice when you want. Don't know your environment or weather conditions so if that's not possible then all good. I just can't do trips inside, especially peaking, makes me feel boxed in. Everyone is different and start early so it's up during the day, then you can reflect at night. You can't really make mental plans on LSD, you just need to flow where it takes you. Your mind will bring up what it brings up. If something bad comes up and it's hard to deal with, just breathe through it. If you freak out about anything, it's just make it worse and causes more issues. Bad trips are not very common. Usually happen when someone takes far too much and it's too intense. If it gets too much, vitamin c brings it down so have some 3-4 lemons there if you need and make a potent lemon drink but if you have half dose you'll be fine. I feel you'll end up laughing more and talking about random shit and then perceive your child hood trauma in a different way. It's trying to open your mind up to see the possibilities in life and not being shackled down by the trauma. That's what I found with it anyway. I don't know the strength of your tabs/liquid, so start with half a dose to welcome yourself in. I wouldn't go full dose first try if youre not familiar with the batch and it's your first time. Different batch's have different personalities and journeys, so good to be familiar with what that one offers before going full blast. If you have any fear in doing the acid beforehand, then it can just amplify the fears. A little anxiety is fine though, that will dwindle away. So just be excited to take it and have fun. Tripping it fun. Its. It not going to hurt you. It's like a reset. Then can have a full next time and maybe your friend can join you. Ive had avout 15 years experience with acid and had hundreds of trips and I had one bad trip and that's because I took too much. Everyone else I know it's been the same issue. So have fun with your friend, be excited and just go with the flow.