U
Unsure and alone
It's a slow fade
- Dec 10, 2023
- 155
The one day in this literal week
That I don't so far at least almost make a suicide attempt.
I'm around through this hell week because I reached out and was talked through it.
And the others fill me in on the numbers
Always knew it was going to be bad .
We had a hard finical hit .
Well right now it's looking like 18 months of even harder .
Isn't life just great ? (Sarcasm )
Also saw something Today.
Too bad I can't drive because that event would be a good reason to hang around for the coming month or try to anyway.
But I can't so I'm not sure if that's a reason for something or just life being cruel by taunting it as doable if only I could drive and had a car .
I'm so tired and yet it seems I'm kinda forced to stay.
I want to go back to the better days
When yeah I wanted to die but not as intense .
Not quite this damn non - functional.
I did a bit better Today but I also set the bar for Today very low.
Because my ability to function beyond absolute survival and protection
Just completely quit for a few days .
I still made it just barely through appointments.
So yeah I tried to set the bar for Today pretty low so I could meet and exceed it .
So I guess I'm left venting and waiting for more bad news ...
That I don't so far at least almost make a suicide attempt.
I'm around through this hell week because I reached out and was talked through it.
And the others fill me in on the numbers
Always knew it was going to be bad .
We had a hard finical hit .
Well right now it's looking like 18 months of even harder .
Isn't life just great ? (Sarcasm )
Also saw something Today.
Too bad I can't drive because that event would be a good reason to hang around for the coming month or try to anyway.
But I can't so I'm not sure if that's a reason for something or just life being cruel by taunting it as doable if only I could drive and had a car .
I'm so tired and yet it seems I'm kinda forced to stay.
I want to go back to the better days
When yeah I wanted to die but not as intense .
Not quite this damn non - functional.
I did a bit better Today but I also set the bar for Today very low.
Because my ability to function beyond absolute survival and protection
Just completely quit for a few days .
I still made it just barely through appointments.
So yeah I tried to set the bar for Today pretty low so I could meet and exceed it .
So I guess I'm left venting and waiting for more bad news ...