Venting Well, I'm back

[SunnysSunset]

I'm back on this site. I thought I was going to get better. Made a new friend, hung out with them, got a job, grades all going well. I'm going on walks, eating better trying out new hobbies.

But I still feel so fucking empty all of the time. For a brief moment, I felt decent enough to get through the day without the thought of driving off the nearest bridge. But it's bad again. If anything, It's gotten worse. I'm doing everything right, why aren't I getting better? I'm on the brink of giving up. Why try if no matter what I do, I'm always going to be miserable? I can't bear the thought of living the rest of my life like this. I just can't. I'm fucking done man I'm so tired. I don't know what else to do.

 

[highjumping]

I know exactly what you mean, currently going through the same, idk if it will ever get better but if you need to talk you can always pm me.

 

[The anhedonic one]

I'm here in the same shit as you are.
NOTHING makes me feel good anymore, NOTHING !
The constant existential dread and feelings of emptiness are always there. Sometimes bubbling beneath the surface, other times trying to force their way out of my skin.
I'm alive on the outside but dead inside.
I'm a walking talking dead man.
Fuck this shit.
Sorry you are going through this too.
It's fucking brutal.

 

[Humanoid]

Yeah I don't know wether such feelings will ever truly change and go away, even when you get 'better'. Even when such a fire starts to dim the coals will smoulder forever, sometimes flaring up more than others. Unfortunatly, it seems from my experiences that you just kinda have to deal with it and continue living, or not, if you truly do not wish to. I cannot promise you things will get better, but I can say that I truly hope they do for you, and others probably too.

 

[FuneralCry]

It's certainly true that there's no real relief from suffering in this cruel world, existing truly is so dreadful and hopeless, I get that it's awful when existing just continues to get worse, I'm personally very tired of being trapped in the same empty existence. But anyway best wishes, I also can't bear the thought of this existence going on for many more decades, existing is just meaningless suffering.

 

[yobba]

Yeah same. Every attempt I make to 'improve' my life seems to backfire and just make me more miserable. I constantly think that doing this and that like any normal person would 'fix' it but nothing can ever stop the gaping emptiness.

 

[DurkheimsCat]

Same! I've tried everything. I even go to TMS 5 days a week and it worked for about two weeks but then I got evicted and lack of housing just set me off again. Any relief from the crushing depression has been a temporary facade that crumbles too easily. Some of us just aren't meant to be here.

 

[BoredomSeeker]

I'm back on this site. I thought I was going to get better. Made a new friend, hung out with them, got a job, grades all going well. I'm going on walks, eating better trying out new hobbies.

But I still feel so fucking empty all of the time. For a brief moment, I felt decent enough to get through the day without the thought of driving off the nearest bridge. But it's bad again. If anything, It's gotten worse. I'm doing everything right, why aren't I getting better? I'm on the brink of giving up. Why try if no matter what I do, I'm always going to be miserable? I can't bear the thought of living the rest of my life like this. I just can't. I'm fucking done man I'm so tired. I don't know what else to do.

I'm so sorry you are going through that, I think unfortunately some people are just predisposed to feeling terrible due to their genetics, which sucks. I know it probably doesn't mean much, but I really hope things get better for you and that you can somehow find peace.