Venting Well all most emotional dead

[Mort]

Well its official most of my emotions are gone no longer happy sad no love left in me . Onely thing left is anger misery and just feeling piss of all the time. Piss of with people from few weeks ago and people way back in my parst that i should have got over a long time ago. But still feel angry at them all . Angry really angry at my self for still being a live still breathing still existing still being useless to everyone. I want to scream and shout at the world why i am i being shit on all the time my hole dam life bin like that . From starting school left school then into work all the same shit but different places. Try to nice and polite and not sink down to their level but got use and crap on even more . Now i see no point on going on but till cant brings myself to end my sad pathetic little life and that makes me more angry and angrier. Best way i can do for now keep my self locked away from the rest of the world so dont get even more piss of and do sum thing stupid like scream at sum one or hit them. I just want to go to sleep and never ever wake up but no still to chicken shit to do it how bad things got to get before i get the message and end it . Dam i hate my self so much i can no longer look at my self in the mirror or and other reflective things. I through the toast out the window the other day keep burning my toast a the court my reflection in it and out the window it went. I tried to live a good life but shit seems to flow my way its like sum cosmic joke that no one let me in on it so all ways the butt of it . Nothing but hate and anger left in me my soul dead my body just has to catch up just wishing its sooner than later. Well rant over for now any ways hope you guys who what to get the bus has an easier time of it tham sad old fart thats is me . Tata for now

 

[mesohappy]

Hey Mort.I don't know what to really say man,other than I read your post and relate to most of it.My own anger and resentment towards myself and others/the whole world and everything in it burned so white hot for so long that it has now pretty much burned itself out.All that's left is the cold ashes of resignation and emptiness.

Im sorry for what you been through and all you are experiencing now.

Have you ever tried smoking marijuana,or think it might help some? I don't currently smoke it but when I did it was pretty hard for me to feel the anger/rage.

 

[Mort]

Hey Mort.I don't know what to really say man,other than I read your post and relate to most of it.My own anger and resentment towards myself and others/the whole world and everything in it burned so white hot for so long that it has now pretty much burned itself out.All that's left is the cold ashes of resignation and emptiness.

Im sorry for what you been through and all you are experiencing now.

Have you ever tried smoking marijuana,or think it might help some? I don't currently smoke it but when I did it was pretty hard for me to feel the anger/rage.

Yer be a bit hard for me to smoke that stuff as i dont live on my own and all so my lungs are on the dodgy side to . Could have a reaction to the stuff and more and likely my lungs would stop working. So sum that could work one way all could live me suffocating to death. Story of my life that all ways steaming pile of poo just waiting for me to step in thanks for the response tho much appreciated.

 

[mesohappy]

Yer be a bit hard for me to smoke that stuff as i dont live on my own and all so my lungs are on the dodgy side to . Could have a reaction to the stuff and more and likely my lungs would stop working. So sum that could work one way all could live me suffocating to death. Story of my life that all ways steaming pile of poo just waiting for me to step in thanks for the response tho much appreciated.

You could try edibles..Just dont start with too large a dose,as it could have the opposite effect(paranoia/anxiety).Are you in U.K.? How are the laws on marijuana there?Is it legal for medical,at least?
Also what lung ailment do you have?My lungs are pretty fucked as well.Lifetime of tobacco smoking.Wouldnt be surprised if I have cancer in them.I haven't been to the doctor in ages.Im done fucking around with doctors at this point.

 

[Mort]

You could try edibles..Just dont start with too large a dose,as it could have the opposite effect(paranoia/anxiety).Are you in U.K.? How are the laws on marijuana there?Is it legal for medical,at least?
Also what lung ailment do you have?My lungs are pretty fucked as well.Lifetime of tobacco smoking.Wouldnt be surprised if I have cancer in them.I haven't been to the doctor in ages.Im done fucking around with doctors at this point.

Uk here and the hole legal thing here mess up as all ways . My lungs were exposed to sum sort of chemical for killing of moulds spores and insects from wood imported from Russia. So god knows what it was it all most kill me but just my luck the doctors save me . So here i am still wading nee deep in steaming pile of shit.