I know for a fact that that all suicides are not a 'tragedy'. I know that not everyone matters, that not all people are believed when they try to express their pain, when they confide in someone because they're clinging on. I know that I'm one of those people whose pain will never be believed. Nothing will change my mind about that, and trying to live with the knowledge that it's not that people don't know my pain, they just don't care - that's humiliating. I may have no hope, but I still have a bit of my self respect.
Ending my own pain is the responsibility that people constantly tell me to take. I still can't tell if all of this is fate, or if people have taken conscious decisions to get to this point. Maybe they're not different things at all.
All I know is that it is clear in my mind - so clear - that I don't matter. My life and death don't matter. And I'm done letting people in just to have an audience. I don't need an audience.
Ending my own pain is the responsibility that people constantly tell me to take. I still can't tell if all of this is fate, or if people have taken conscious decisions to get to this point. Maybe they're not different things at all.
All I know is that it is clear in my mind - so clear - that I don't matter. My life and death don't matter. And I'm done letting people in just to have an audience. I don't need an audience.
