737492
broken beyond repair
- Sep 7, 2019
- 52
I feel incredibly stupid for this, but my main reason for wanting to kill myself is because I'm unable to be with someone I love.
I have many other reasons. I was abused as a kid, I have a dysfunctional family, I'm lonely and pretty much friendless, and I hate my looks. But some years ago I met someone who I clicked with so well, who i was truly in love with.
It was the first time i felt accepted and loved by someone. It was all so strange to me, I would cry sometimes because being loved felt so unfamiliar. But I was happy. Happy that I had found love and someone to have a future with. I told myself that no matter what had happened in my past, I could heal and build a future with them.
I dont want to go into details but being together in person became pretty much impossible. And now I dont have a reason to live anymore, or a future to look forward to. I lost the only person I've been in love with.
I tried to move on but couldn't find anyone. I'd either find people who'd ghost me or people interested in casual sex. I didnt want that, I wanted love.
I dont know what to do now. Its killing me knowing I'll never be with them. That other people have what we had and didnt lose it. I'm angry and dont understand why life had to take something so precious away from me.
I have many other reasons. I was abused as a kid, I have a dysfunctional family, I'm lonely and pretty much friendless, and I hate my looks. But some years ago I met someone who I clicked with so well, who i was truly in love with.
It was the first time i felt accepted and loved by someone. It was all so strange to me, I would cry sometimes because being loved felt so unfamiliar. But I was happy. Happy that I had found love and someone to have a future with. I told myself that no matter what had happened in my past, I could heal and build a future with them.
I dont want to go into details but being together in person became pretty much impossible. And now I dont have a reason to live anymore, or a future to look forward to. I lost the only person I've been in love with.
I tried to move on but couldn't find anyone. I'd either find people who'd ghost me or people interested in casual sex. I didnt want that, I wanted love.
I dont know what to do now. Its killing me knowing I'll never be with them. That other people have what we had and didnt lose it. I'm angry and dont understand why life had to take something so precious away from me.