Ways to induce suicidal desire?

[bigtiredoflife]

So like the title says, I was wondering if there were ways to give myself that extra push to actually follow through and ctb. I'm miserable, alone, and my mental illness makes it hard not to be a burden. I've got booze and a tasty choice between my .357 magnum revolver and 12g shotgun. I just freeze up and can never pull the trigger. Thinking about how shit everything is and how I've fucked up and wasted my life isn't cutting the wrist mustard, and alcohol only numbs the pain. Like, medications/combinations to make me feel chill or desperate enough?

 

[MideonNViscera]

I doubt there's any meds that will make you feel MORE suicidal, although I do remember the come down off certain drugs, like coke and ecstasy, were bad enough that they may have pushed me over the edge had I been suicidal at the time.

 

[Rainy_days]

If you have to drug yourself into submission then maybe it is not the right choice at this point? I'm sorry you are feeling miserable and like a burden though, I can relate to that only too well.

 

[henikova]

It's okay to stay alive. If you are not 100% sure, you don't have to die.
Having reliable tools at hand to decide otherwise at any moment is a luxury of some sort. Many people on this forum would be quite happy about it. #metoo

 

[Darkover]

to pull the trigger you have to be in as much pain as pull the trigger would cause, i got a brain injury from somking weed and listening to music with headphones on now i am debilitated but i know if i had a gun at the peek of my pain i'd be able to pull the trigger

 

[henikova]

Anyway if you really want to be more suicidal think of the time frame you are given to live, the fundamental meaninglessness of life and the cruel nature of biological processes of aging and degradation. It always works for me.

 

[Idontmatter]

I doubt there's any meds that will make you feel MORE suicidal, although I do remember the come down off certain drugs, like coke and ecstasy, were bad enough that they may have pushed me over the edge had I been suicidal at the time.

Coming off of coke was really bad for me like that. If I knew about sn back then I would have done it.

 

[MideonNViscera]

Coming off of coke was really bad for me like that. If I knew about sn back then I would have done it.

Ugh yeah, it's the shits. Being fully aware of why you feel that way, but it changes nothing and you can't fall asleep. I never understood how people become addicted to that shit. It's fun factor lasts like 1/10th of the time the shitty part does.

 

[Darkover]

Ugh yeah, it's the shits. Being fully aware of why you feel that way, but it changes nothing and you can't fall asleep. I never understood how people become addicted to that shit. It's fun factor lasts like 1/10th of the time the shitty part does.

i take coke all the time like 300£ worth per month i don't get any nasty come downs and the high it last for about 7 hours off 1gram i just watch porn and masterbate or play game like solitaire

 

[Idontmatter]

Ugh yeah, it's the shits. Being fully aware of why you feel that way, but it changes nothing and you can't fall asleep. I never understood how people become addicted to that shit. It's fun factor lasts like 1/10th of the time the shitty part does.

I can see the addiction aspect because I did way to much. It was the one time where I was completely happy when I was high on coke. I could talk to strangers without having an anxiety attack. I just kept wanting more each time I came down.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

Anyway if you really want to be more suicidal think of the time frame you are given to live, the fundamental meaninglessness of life and the cruel nature of biological processes of aging and degradation. It always works for me.

Good one. Thought of similar things.

 

[MideonNViscera]

I can see the addiction aspect because I did way to much. It was the one time where I was completely happy when I was high on coke. I could talk to strangers without having an anxiety attack. I just kept wanting more each time I came down.

Now that part I understand.

 

[FuneralCry]

Maybe a lot of people manage to leave when they just cannot bear existing anymore, I mean as time goes on existing will definitely get worse and the amount of suffering experienced will just increase. At least you have the option of the gun right there so you can just exit when the time is right for you, I'm not sure that you can really force yourself into this, I just think that it's a feeling you have where you know that it's time.

 

[Obliviate]

What really helps me is just going on social media and looking at all the corruption and fucked up things going on around us/listening to people's stories and experiences. Whatever hits/triggers your soft spot and really forces you to believe there is no hope. Animal abuse, rape, murder, corruption etc. We as normal people are so protected and blinded about what is going o in the world. Infact, it was so bad I had to stop because it was giving me panic attacks and making me cry so much I was unable to do daily tasks. Well I'm an empath so I could literally feel the individual's pain. But that really set me over the top when your life is already shit.

 

[randy]

I doubt there's any meds that will make you feel MORE suicidal, although I do remember the come down off certain drugs, like coke and ecstasy, were bad enough that they may have pushed me over the edge had I been suicidal at the time.

There's a whole list of drugs with black-box warnings about increased suicidal ideation risk. Benzos do it to me:

• Accutane (isotretinoin)
• Banzel (Rufinamide)
• Carbatrol, Equetro, Tegretol, Tegretol XR (carbamazepine)
• Celontin (methosuximide)
• Chantix (varenicline)
• Darvon and Darvocet (propoxyphene)
• Depakote, Depakote ER, Depakene (divalproex sodium)
• Depakene, Stavzor Extended Release Tablets (valproic acid)
• Dilantin Suspension (phenytoin)
• Felbatol (felbamate)
• Gabitril (tiagabine)
• Keppra (levetiracetam)
• Klonopin (clonazepam)
• Lamictal (lamotrigine)
• Mesantoin (mephenytoin)
• Mysoline (primidone)
• Neurontin (gabapentin)
• Paxil (paroxetine)
• Peganone (ethotoin)
• Prozac (fluoxetine)
• Topamax (topiramate)
• Tranxene (clorazepate)
• Tridione (trimethadione)
• Trileptal (oxcarbazepine)
• Vimpat (lacosamide)
• Zarontin (ethosuximide)
• Zonegran (zonisamide)

 

[MideonNViscera]

Sure, but the likelihood of any of those causing them for this particular person is extremely low, and that's a hell of a list to experiment with.

 

[liana]

Identify and stop all coping mechanisms.

 

[bigtiredoflife]

Maybe a lot of people manage to leave when they just cannot bear existing anymore, I mean as time goes on existing will definitely get worse and the amount of suffering experienced will just increase. At least you have the option of the gun right there so you can just exit when the time is right for you, I'm not sure that you can really force yourself into this, I just think that it's a feeling you have where you know that it's time.

I had an opportunity of motivation before I got the guns, and tbh at first the idea of having a gun handy was that I could turn my life around and be normal because by having an off button in my night stand, nothing really mattered and everything seemed inconsequential. But beyond being miserable and tired of life, I guess I'm just waiting on that one bad day to give me the kick in the butt to take that leap.

 

[eternalbliss22]

So like the title says, I was wondering if there were ways to give myself that extra push to actually follow through and ctb. I'm miserable, alone, and my mental illness makes it hard not to be a burden. I've got booze and a tasty choice between my .357 magnum revolver and 12g shotgun. I just freeze up and can never pull the trigger. Thinking about how shit everything is and how I've fucked up and wasted my life isn't cutting the wrist mustard, and alcohol only numbs the pain. Like, medications/combinations to make me feel chill or desperate enough?

SI is an overwhelming force for me. Death is heavy on my mind, but it's hard to achieve. It took my brother 11 years to CTB. While I can't wait that long, it's comforting to know it's possible to overcome SI. I can't work to earn a living because I'm followed & harassed. Death is my only salvation, so I'm going to let life beat me down until I'm strong enough to CTB.

 

[june]

Maybe alcohol

 

[DeadManLiving]

Alcohol and whatever impulsive trigger that hits your soft spot to tip you over the edge. Alcohol and benzos inhibit the brain's amygdala, which comprises your SI. Remember the last time you did something really stupid drunk that almost got you killed or you would have never done it a billion years sober?

Well that's alcohol's action on the amygdala. It inhibits your most powerful instincts to do what you would never ordinarily sober. A combination of alcohol, really bad day and then impulsive mental trigger with a strong sedative benzo to ease the nerves and further inhibit inhibitions along with previous mental preparation reminding you of all of the reasons why you'd be better off dead would be more than enough to put you over the edge and pull the trigger. It's just a matter of having the lethal means on hand in the moment right there when it comes.

There's a whole list of drugs with black-box warnings about increased suicidal ideation risk. Benzos do it to me:

• Accutane (isotretinoin)
• Banzel (Rufinamide)
• Carbatrol, Equetro, Tegretol, Tegretol XR (carbamazepine)
• Celontin (methosuximide)
• Chantix (varenicline)
• Darvon and Darvocet (propoxyphene)
• Depakote, Depakote ER, Depakene (divalproex sodium)
• Depakene, Stavzor Extended Release Tablets (valproic acid)
• Dilantin Suspension (phenytoin)
• Felbatol (felbamate)
• Gabitril (tiagabine)
• Keppra (levetiracetam)
• Klonopin (clonazepam)
• Lamictal (lamotrigine)
• Mesantoin (mephenytoin)
• Mysoline (primidone)
• Neurontin (gabapentin)
• Paxil (paroxetine)
• Peganone (ethotoin)
• Prozac (fluoxetine)
• Topamax (topiramate)
• Tranxene (clorazepate)
• Tridione (trimethadione)
• Trileptal (oxcarbazepine)
• Vimpat (lacosamide)
• Zarontin (ethosuximide)
• Zonegran (zonisamide)

Chantix (varenicline)

This one in particular, the smoking cessation pill is the one most prominent and correlated with suicidal tendencies and attempts. It was the subject of a major lawsuit over it after a multitude of people attempted suicide as a result of the drug's suicidal side effects symptoms.

 

[wait.what]

I'm in the exact same boat, OP. But then, I'm capable of freezing with anxiety over which cereal to buy at the grocery store. Given my ridiculous personality, it seems unlikely that I'll ever have the guts to pull the trigger. Probably I'll live forever.

 

[bigtiredoflife]

Alcohol and whatever impulsive trigger that hits your soft spot to tip you over the edge. Alcohol and benzos inhibit the brain's amygdala, which comprises your SI. Remember the last time you did something really stupid drunk that almost got you killed or you would have never done it a billion years sober?

Well that's alcohol's action on the amygdala. It inhibits your most powerful instincts to do what you would never ordinarily sober. A combination of alcohol, really bad day and then impulsive mental trigger with a strong sedative benzo to ease the nerves and further inhibit inhibitions along with previous mental preparation reminding you of all of the reasons why you'd be better off dead would be more than enough to put you over the edge and pull the trigger. It's just a matter of having the lethal means on hand in the moment right there when it comes.

Chantix (varenicline)

This one in particular, the smoking cessation pill is the one most prominent and correlated with suicidal tendencies and attempts. It was the subject of a major lawsuit over it after a multitude of people attempted suicide as a result of the drug's suicidal side effects symptoms.

What's funny is I'm waiting to see the doctor to get back on chantix to quit nicotine again. I've used it before and it's been amazing with zero side effects. It gave my dad near homicidal rage but for me it was the only thing that's helped me quit smoking before. As for alcohol, it typically numbs me. Maybe I'm just a huge pussy

 

[lionetta12]

So like the title says, I was wondering if there were ways to give myself that extra push to actually follow through and ctb. I'm miserable, alone, and my mental illness makes it hard not to be a burden. I've got booze and a tasty choice between my .357 magnum revolver and 12g shotgun. I just freeze up and can never pull the trigger. Thinking about how shit everything is and how I've fucked up and wasted my life isn't cutting the wrist mustard, and alcohol only numbs the pain. Like, medications/combinations to make me feel chill or desperate enough?

What helps push my suicidal desires is to talk to narcissists, be abandoned, be cheated on, overall just being abused really.

 

[escaped]

Adderall addiction definitely got me there

 

[Shoko]

Yeah, Adderall may cause new or worsening psychosis (unusual thoughts or behavior), especially if you have a history of depression, mental illness, or bipolar disorder.

 

[LastFlowers]

There's a whole list of drugs with black-box warnings about increased suicidal ideation risk. Benzos do it to me:

• Accutane (isotretinoin)
• Banzel (Rufinamide)
• Carbatrol, Equetro, Tegretol, Tegretol XR (carbamazepine)
• Celontin (methosuximide)
• Chantix (varenicline)
• Darvon and Darvocet (propoxyphene)
• Depakote, Depakote ER, Depakene (divalproex sodium)
• Depakene, Stavzor Extended Release Tablets (valproic acid)
• Dilantin Suspension (phenytoin)
• Felbatol (felbamate)
• Gabitril (tiagabine)
• Keppra (levetiracetam)
• Klonopin (clonazepam)
• Lamictal (lamotrigine)
• Mesantoin (mephenytoin)
• Mysoline (primidone)
• Neurontin (gabapentin)
• Paxil (paroxetine)
• Peganone (ethotoin)
• Prozac (fluoxetine)
• Topamax (topiramate)
• Tranxene (clorazepate)
• Tridione (trimethadione)
• Trileptal (oxcarbazepine)
• Vimpat (lacosamide)
• Zarontin (ethosuximide)
• Zonegran (zonisamide)

I mean..starting right off the top, a lot of people may commit suicide while on/right after accutane because of reasons other than the drug having some type of direct biological effect on the brain.

1) They are already susceptible to or experiencing suicidal thoughts due to the state of their moderate-severe skin condition that significantly affects self esteem and ability to thrive in social settings (other people can be awful).
2) The drug is likely their last resort and option for treatment/'cure', they put a lot of stake in it..if at any point they get the sense it's not working or not going to work, they may not be able to handle it.
3) The drug can sometimes make things worse at certain points of the treatment and again, the patient may not be able to handle it.
4) Once the active acne/skin condition is alleviated, many may still be left with permanent scarring..which brings on a whole other animal of emotional and mental distress or hopelessness.
5) Other bodily side effects of the drug may end up creating new issues that cause another set of reasons for misery or distress.

 

[Krieger]

If you don't feel ready to go, don't force yourself to. Maybe that's just my opinion though.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I'm in the exact same boat, OP. But then, I'm capable of freezing with anxiety over which cereal to buy at the grocery store. Given my ridiculous personality, it seems unlikely that I'll ever have the guts to pull the trigger. Probably I'll live forever.

Me too. Anything beyond sleeping is a challenge.

 

[Gustav Hartmann]

Greenland has the highest suicide rate in the world. The reasons are probably alcoholism and insomnia during permanent daylight. Why do I not start with drinking (thought I like alcohol) and sleep deprivation? When I am not ready I will not force it, death is inevitable anyhow!