AntiLifeEric

AntiLifeEric

Student
Jun 20, 2018
145
I've been thinking about how so many people want out of this life, but fear and depression actually keep them, here, because no one wants to die miserable and feeling alone. It's a long shot, but those with the resources could try water fasting to get their bodies cleaner, and get them feeling better before they CTB. Obviously they could spend more time with their families, as well, if their family situation isn't one of the things making them want to CTB.
 
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AntiLifeEric

AntiLifeEric

Student
Jun 20, 2018
145
I'm on my 2nd day of water fasting. My mind doesn't seem so much like a black hole, anymore. I feel like my biggest obstacle will be the urge to go back to eating, and basically live-to-eat, again. The high from certain foods would be stronger, the longer that I go without eating them.
 
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readyanddetermined17

Member
Aug 13, 2018
40
Yeah, it would be great to feel as good as possible ending it...
But what if your survival instinct gets stronger then? About to do it when your rational thinking is diminished by anxiety your brain could magnify your happy/not miserable thoughts as something to live for, while at the same time pushing your reasons to die away and you could end up messing it up, just because in the last moment you thought "why am i doing this? i'm happy" and panicked.
But that's just me...
 
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AntiLifeEric

AntiLifeEric

Student
Jun 20, 2018
145
Yeah, it would be great to feel as good as possible ending it...
But what if your survival instinct gets stronger then? About to do it when your rational thinking is diminished by anxiety your brain could magnify your happy/not miserable thoughts as something to live for, while at the same time pushing your reasons to die away and you could end up messing it up, just because in the last moment you thought "why am i doing this? i'm happy" and panicked.
But that's just me...
I doubt that it would happen like that. Avoiding the passions that drive people for all of their lives, for example; food, sex, alcohol, and such things, I could only see that making it easier to work up the courage to CTB.
 
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readyanddetermined17

Member
Aug 13, 2018
40
Yeah, you are right. I was just speaking from my experience. I don't have any real passions driving me, but that's not because i'm not interested in anything, apathetic or something like that - it's just that everything i've ever wanted, got passionate about is not possible for me. So I'm not attached to anything or anyone. Nothing keeps me here. So it should be as easy as it gets for me, right? And still what i described before happened to me - it was just irrational thoughts, but were enough to build up more panick. But again that's just me.
 
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Anarchy

Anarchy

Invisible anarchist
Jul 9, 2018
383
Mostly I fear the idea of killing myself. But there have been many moments where I've felt genuinely happy, and, in turn, it makes me genuinely happy about killing myself. Whenever I feel motivated/excited, I feel like doing it more. It would be a great feeling to die genuinely happy, in a moment where you aren't thinking about regrets.
 
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readyanddetermined17

Member
Aug 13, 2018
40
That's true for me too - that general confidence that makes you think you could do anything and suicide seems to be the easiest thing... I would get that feeling again if i only knew how to end it successfully with certainty.
Although i was thinking more of those single, little moments of happiness that kind of make you think "what if i stay" even if in my case they are pure bs and i don't want them anyway. I guess my brain is doing all it can to save me or rather save itself.
 
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Comatose11

Mage
Jul 26, 2018
572
Excuse my ignorance, but how does water fasting help with ctb? I'm not trying to challenge or insult, I am genuinely curious. :)
 
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AntiLifeEric

AntiLifeEric

Student
Jun 20, 2018
145
Excuse my ignorance, but how does water fasting help with ctb? I'm not trying to challenge or insult, I am genuinely curious. :)
The more that we're weighing our bodies down with garbage, the shittier we will feel. When we feel shitty enough, we can't see anything ahead but a black hole. I've tried eating healthy and it didn't work in the same regard as when I water-fasted, twice, for a week each time.

Man, I was on a totally different wavelength, last year. Things were still shit, but I never felt this bad for this long. I think that it's partially due to my body being cleaner, back then. I knew that I could've improved even more if I had the willpower to water-fast, again.

The problem is that not many people have the willpower or the opportunity to fast for long periods of time.
 
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Comatose11

Mage
Jul 26, 2018
572
The more that we're weighing our bodies down with garbage, the shittier we will feel. When we feel shitty enough, we can't see anything ahead but a black hole. I've tried eating healthy and it didn't work in the same regard as when I water-fasted, twice, for a week each time.

Man, I was on a totally different wavelength, last year. Things were still shit, but I never felt this bad for this long. I think that it's partially due to my body being cleaner, back then. I knew that I could've improved even more if I had the willpower to water-fast, again.

The problem is that not many people have the willpower or the opportunity to fast for long periods of time.

Oh ok. I wouldn't be able to because my blood sugar would drop way too low.
 
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bbq1

bbq1

Gone
Aug 3, 2018
323
Are chicken & mushroom pot noodles allowed?
If not, count me out.
 
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AntiLifeEric

AntiLifeEric

Student
Jun 20, 2018
145
Something else that the spiritually-inclined can take into account is that, if we do have souls, and they kind of mold into our physical bodies, as most out-of-body experiences suggest, it could be that water fasting (cleaning out the body), increases the soul's communication with the mind. I know that I occasionally actually had pleasant dreams, and it was much easier to find positives, in life, when I was relatively clean.

It was unfortunate that I was unable to fast longer, last year. If I was, who knows what my condition would be, today. Either way, I just wanna go Home, now.
 
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LadySin

Member
Aug 17, 2018
27
Yeah, it would be great to feel as good as possible ending it...
But what if your survival instinct gets stronger then? About to do it when your rational thinking is diminished by anxiety your brain could magnify your happy/not miserable thoughts as something to live for, while at the same time pushing your reasons to die away and you could end up messing it up, just because in the last moment you thought "why am i doing this? i'm happy" and panicked.
But that's just me...

This happens ever time I smoke weed. And when I stop, everything true comes back in full force.
 
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AntiLifeEric

AntiLifeEric

Student
Jun 20, 2018
145
I ate something yesterday, nothing big, just a few pieces of bread, and have had nothing, since then. I've been on cloud 9, today, by comparison with how I've been feeling, lately.
 

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