K
Kali_Yuga13
Member
- Jul 11, 2024
- 48
Title...I stumbled upon content from hospice workers and it has lessened my fear of death. There are some end of life symptoms such as "visioning" and the "death reach" that may indicate something after. I saw saw someone given "compassionate end" (hospitals term for euthanasia to free up a bed and stay within legal bounds) and they did these things. I think my biggest fear in death is having never lived as I grew up in an environment of neglect and control and missed many milestones. Unfortunately adulthood did not offer the freedom I expected despite my earnest efforts at healing, rebellion to the system and conformity to the system. Nothing really stuck. The prospect of feeling like "it was all worth it in the end" is at an all time low. It's looking to become more about the destination than the journey to modify a popular saying.
I still feel like I have 1-5 years before I commit to ctb but it's taking a lot of mental effort to get my stuff in order. I am happy to be shedding the fear of death. At some level this feels like a type of spiritual progress if it isn't all blackness in the end.
I still feel like I have 1-5 years before I commit to ctb but it's taking a lot of mental effort to get my stuff in order. I am happy to be shedding the fear of death. At some level this feels like a type of spiritual progress if it isn't all blackness in the end.