Venting Waste of a human

[SanguineShark]

We're all born equal, innocent. What should be the norm is that a person would grow up in a loving, caring and safe environment, have their self-worth develop in a healthy way, and then proceed to live their life. Of course with some ups and downs, as life is honestly full of misery and pain, but if you have that strong foundation, then you have likely chances of doing good choices in life, being mentally stable and overall just be strong.
Sadly, we don't all have that luxury. I bet most of you here don't have a good family, I sure don't. My whole family hates each other, it's full of deeply mentally unstable, toxic, shit humans who let their shitty mistakes poison each other. I was born in this family as the youngest, which hopefully stays that way forever. I have borderline personality disorder due to trauma from my family. The people who were supposed to raise me, lift me up, build my self esteem and assertiveness, literally left me as a broken, traumatized, unstable mess, who's whole personality is a fucking disorder. I'm almost 23!! I'm still young!! And I wanted to kill myself since I was 15 :)
I think ctb should be legal for people like me, what the fuck am I supposed to do? Be in therapy hell and medicated until hopefully I can be glued back together? That won't do shit. I'M BROKEN. IT'S TOO LATE. My whole brain developmental period was full of fucking suffering and trauma, you will NEVER be able to fix that in any way that matters. I'm just sticking around because I managed to manipulate people into being my friends by sacrificing every single bit of myself so they can like me. I'm nothing inside. All my actions are just to please people so they can "please please love me", because my mother didn't love me enough as a child and my father just straight up fucking left and abandoned me completely. I'm just that small, helpless child who's crying for her parents to please please love me please don't leave me. This is permanent, I cannot change my past. And despite everyone telling me that I can move on, live happily, I just don't see it at all. I'm at the literal bottom of the stairs and they want me to climb a fucking mountain, suffer and push myself, waste time in therapy and hospitals, damage my organs with medication, just for the HOPE of living like a person who didn't have to go through all that fucking suffering I did. I have to do all that shit just to be equal to neurotypical mentally well people. I hate this life, I just want to ctb.

 

[iDontKnowWhat]

Hello! Everything you said is sad. I, on the other hand, have a relatively stable family that gives me a lot of support and love. The reason I want ctb is that I didn't do the things that should have been done, that is, I made a mistake, no one else did. And now it's too late. I made a mistake in everything and, since there is no way for me to repair the mistakes, I will ctb on Monday 11/06/23. I didn't want to do this, but... that's life. In your case, I think you can try for a good few years. I know a lot of people who when they were your age thought everything was lost and, after about 2 years, life is very good, with ups and downs of course, but they wanna live now!

 

[paroxysm]

a lot of people do not want to admit this but some people were not built for this world. i wish the us had canada's MAID act i would use it in a heartbeat if it covered mental illnesses.

 

[SanguineShark]

a lot of people do not want to admit this but some people were not built for this world. i wish the us had canada's MAID act i would use it in a heartbeat if it covered mental illnesses.

ikr, I heard ppl with BPD can get euthanasia, I wish I could so bad.. living with BPD is literal hell.
Also, unrelated, nice Makima pfp! I love chainsaw man :)

 

[FuneralCry]

It's horrible how assisted suicide isn't legalised despite the fact that we were so cruelly burdened with the ability to suffer in this existence in the first place.
I hate how we exist in this society where not wanting to suffer isn't seen as a valid way to feel, allowing legalised assisted suicide would be very compassionate.

 

[SanguineShark]

It's horrible how assisted suicide isn't legalised despite the fact that we were so cruelly burdened with the ability to suffer in this existence in the first place.
I hate how we exist in this society where not wanting to suffer isn't seen as a valid way to feel, allowing legalised assisted suicide would be very compassionate.

I think it's just selfishness. No one really wants their close one to die, so they are clouded with this selfish need of that person above actual empathy where they would understand why someone wants to ctb in the first place. They desperately want to cling onto hope that the more the suicidal person gets hospitalized the better they will get, that if one medication doesn't work, they will change to a different one endlessly. Everyone tells suicidal people "go to therapy" instead of actually listening, which is what most of them actually need. I get why people hate the idea of a close one dying like this, they think that just because it's not a horrible accident, they can force the "positive" outcome of recovery, despite that not being realistic. I don't think everyone can recover. I think if someone is actively suicidal for years, despite trying therapy and medication, they should just be able to get euthanasia, as prolonging suffering like this is just cruel.