Was this SA? Am I partly to blame? (FINAL REPOST)

[wistfulness]

TRIGGER WARNING

Three years ago, My neighbor (16M) invited my friend and I (both 16F) to this graveyard to drink beer and hang out. Once we got there, we starting drinking immediately. My friend got very drunk and I was crossed yet somewhat aware of our surroundings. Our neighbor kept making suggestive comments about us, like how he fetishized getting with both of us at the same time. He started suggesting we both make out with him and slowly started to pressure us more and more. It got to the point where I told him I'd kiss him if my friend did (we had been in similar spin the bottle situations and I thought of our neighbor as a relatively safe person at the time). He ended up taking turns making out with us and it escalated to oral sex. I only compiled because I didn't feel comfortable saying no.

I was the less intoxicated one so I've always blamed myself for not stopping what happened. I've tried to apologize to my friend but she blames me too. AITA for how I acted in this situation? I know I'm in the wrong for helping him pressure her, but am I partially to blame for this happening in general? Her and I are still friends but we rarely ever talk about it. I think about it all the time.

 

[thedevilwithin]

you're not to blame at all. you and your friend both experienced something extremely traumatic. it's none of your faults, the person at fault is the one who took advantage of you too. i'm sorry it's not easy going through that </3

 

[timetodie24]

Not your fault at all, you were both pressured into it which means you didn't consent. Therefore it is SA which is never the fault of anyone except the abuser . I'm so sorry you went through such an awful traumatic experience. You are the victim too and not to blame at all .