Venting Was planning on CTB but bailed out

[Nobbo]

I was planning on ctb tonight. However I bailed out, now I feel like shit for not daring to CTB. Instead I'm just laying in bed n cutting myself to numb the pain. I feel like such a failure and now that I can't ctb I feel like a failure for not being able to push myself to do it. I want to die and get rid of this unbearable pain but then why don't I dare to pull the trigger?

 

[Squiddy]

I understand how you feel. Though you're not a failure. Ctb is hard and final.

 

[KiraLittleOwl]

I know the feeling. I understand the disappointment.
Don't be hard on yourself, love, please. Take more time to think about everything.

 

[Donk]

SI is stopping you. happens to all of us. dont be so hard on yourself and you are not a failure for backing out. probably one of the hardest thing to do in life is ctb. the final exit.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

why don't I dare to pull the trigger?

Are you afraid if there will be pain because it worries me.

 

[FireFox]

Please dont be hard on yourself. The method you picked you could have ended up in hospital because drugs are unpredicatable . People have surivied the worst overdoses that is how fucked up life is. Your parents could have woken up maybe found you early sometimes it happens .

Why do you hate yourself and your life. I am 22 and feel the same way

I planned to kill myself after my exams but never went ahead with it. I was angry at myself for not having the guts to go ahead with it . Somedays i do regret not going ahead with it as my life did not get better in any way and still not better
Remember just because you plan a sucide it doesnt mean it will be a success, so much can go wrong .
Just have a drink( what is your favourite) and go to bed you willl think more clearly in the moring
Do you have stoopwafels at home?
Sorry i love them they are amazing.
Please stay safe
Love
Firefox

 

[Living sucks]

No one WANTS to die. We just want the pain to stop. If you can't ctb, try to focus on what might make life better. Instead of cutting go out for a jog? Exhaust yourself physically so you're tired. Just thoughts

 

[darkhorse256]

You're not a failure. CTB is very difficult to do because you have to overcome SI, any thoughts that are holding you back (might be guilt about how it might affect your loved ones or something else) and also because it is final. There's no rush to CTB and you have the rest of your life to do so if you choose to.

 

[Nobbo]

I just want to say thank you all for the kind messages, I'm so thankful for you all and honestly it warms my heart. I am going to try again today to ctb, I really appreciate all of you and your messages. I wish all of you the best in life and hope you guys get through all the pain that you have, you guys can do it!