Venting Was having an alright few days

[BaconCheeseburger]

Just back onto the low mood now.

It's been three months since my friend CTB. I've been told the girl who ignored me (when we were out together) to flirt with a ginger cunt got very close to him after I left crying. I slept with someone who I'm not that into this evening just in case it might have made me feel wanted.

I also go back to work in two days, having had two weeks away from a place that makes me want to CTB even more. I've messaged my team every now and again with questions that they don't reply to. I feel like I don't belong there, or anywhere.

I'll get back to adding to my note soon. Look into more of the partial suspension resources. See if that rope from Clas Ohlson (the shop) is any good. Try to find my hanging spot. Just want to be gone, gone and more gone.

 

[TheLastTrip]

I know the pain of having a job and workplace that just makes you die inside and want to CTB every minute of every day.

I am sorry you are having a low day today. Forget the guy you slept with, you're wanted here in this forum, and there is no pregnancy or STDs here, I hope anyway because I haven't been using protection, lol

 

[BaconCheeseburger]

there is no pregnancy or STDs here, I hope anyway because I haven't been using protection, lol

I already have herpes which is the bane of my life not because of the virus itself, but because people are terrified of coming (!) anywhere near me. I'd never knowingly want to pass it on, but sometimes I just want to transmit it to fuckups who hurt me. I just want revenge that I know I shouldn't bother with. Every time I've lashed back out at people in the past it has come back with repercussions which haunt me for years. Just can't win, I guess.

 

[TheLastTrip]

It is hard not to want to hurt those who hurt us, or try to correct the scales by doing evil to those who do evil to us. However I know what you mean about lashing out and then having it come back to you, that happens to me all the time too, I just gave up in the end.

I very very rarely say anything to anyone who hurts me anymore, I have learned my lesson that I am not good with people normally, when angry or hurt I am even worse and they'll just twist things and hurt me even worse if I try to react *sigh*