Was feeling good but....

[Imamistakendumarsse]

I was hopeful last week.... that my life would be fine and dandy if i keep at it... that my mistakes would forgive me.... but I'm back to those thoughts again. I'm back to feeling like shit and so sad and at the same time, so mag at myself that i haven't ctb yet. what do i do man.... I'm such a mess

 

[faust]

This is called "being unstable". The paradox of this is that no matter what you do, lows are inevitable sometimes. That's just the way it works for you. Are you currently on recovery?

 

[Imamistakendumarsse]

This is called "being unstable". The paradox of this is that no matter what you do, lows are inevitable sometimes. That's just the way it works for you. Are you currently on recovery?

Dont know for sure...i want to recover some times....but most times i think of ctb

 

[faust]

Dont know for sure...i want to recover some times....but most times i think of ctb

That's sad... I guess this is a path of trials and failures so if you join it, you have to keep in mind that this happens. Are you currently on medication or maybe have some things which can make you feel at least temporarily better?

 

[Imamistakendumarsse]

That's sad... I guess this is a path of trials and failures so if you join it, you have to keep in mind that this happens. Are you currently on medication or maybe have some things which can make you feel at least temporarily better?

No medication...i have never even visited a therapist

 

[Imamistakendumarsse]

No medication...i have never even visited a therapist

And i cant really do so because my family doesn't believe in their efficacy

 

[RedDEE]

Take it from a person that has made a vast quantity of mistakes very extreme severity - your mistakes forgive you immediately, but it's yourself that you need to forgive.

 

[Imamistakendumarsse]

Take it from a person that has made a vast quantity of mistakes of very extreme severity - your mistakes forgive you immediately, but it's yourself that you need to forgive.
Take it from a person that has made a vast quantity of mistakes of very extreme severity - your mistakes forgive you immediately, but it's yourself that you need to forgive.
Take it from a person that has made a vast quantity of mistakes of very extreme severity - your mistakes forgive you immediately, but it's yourself that you need to forgive.
Take it from a person that has made a vast quantity of mistakes of very extreme severity - your mistakes forgive you immediately, but it's yourself that you need to forgive.
Take it from a person that has made a vast quantity of mistakes of very extreme severity - your mistakes forgive you immediately, but it's yourself that you need to forgive.
Take it from a person that has made a vast quantity of mistakes of very extreme severity - your mistakes forgive you immediately, but it's yourself that you need to forgive.

What sort of mistakes did you make?

 

[RedDEE]

What sort of mistakes did you make?

Beat the love of my life, stole a truck, wrecked it hijacked a car beat up an old man. etc etc etc. I got pennywise the clown tattooed on my arm and pure evil on my knuckles. I'm a straight piece of shit, but out of all the mistakes I've made, I think that the karma came back fairly so I don't sit around thinking about mistakes because I leave it in the hands of the universe to balance it out and punish me accordingly. I am sure the universe will dispense karma so why sit around worrying about it?

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

And i cant really do so because my family doesn't believe in their efficacy

How old are you?

 

[Imamistakendumarsse]

How old are you?

24

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

24

So I'm curious why you can't see a therapist if you want to since you're an adult.

 

[Meowkin]

I was hopeful last week.... that my life would be fine and dandy if i keep at it... that my mistakes would forgive me.... but I'm back to those thoughts again. I'm back to feeling like shit and so sad and at the same time, so mag at myself that i haven't ctb yet. what do i do man.... I'm such a mess

I'm sorry for your suffering. Thoughts can be disturbing whether they're caused by triggering events, mood swings or any number of things. It seems you feel helpless in the face of your changing thoughts. It is exhausting and I'm sorry you're going through it.

 

[Blue Portal]

I was hopeful last week.... that my life would be fine and dandy if i keep at it... that my mistakes would forgive me.... but I'm back to those thoughts again. I'm back to feeling like shit and so sad and at the same time, so mag at myself that i haven't ctb yet. what do i do man.... I'm such a mess

Depends on how old you are, the reasons for ending it and what you've already used to try to get better with.

 

[Imamistakendumarsse]

So I'm curious why you can't see a therapist if you want to since you're an adult.

Im still dependent on my family since im still going to college... I dont wish to burdenthem financially

 

[faust]

Im still dependent on my family since im still going to college... I dont wish to burdenthem financially

I know what you mean. Anyway, it is worth to try. Maybe if you get a summer job you will be able to afford a therapy, at least you have to know what is wrong with you.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Im still dependent on my family since im still going to college... I dont wish to burdenthem financially

If you're interested in it, your college might offer free therapy. Doesn't mean it will be any good, it was shit at my university (in fact she was a psychologist, worst therapist I've ever had), but it could be good as well.