was calling to cancel all my appointments, had to leave a message

[AveryConure]

Now this is just fucking embarrassing. Mental healthcare in a nutshell folks.

I told my goodbyes, turns out most of my friends actually don't give a shit and are honestly begging me to do it right this time, I'm fully convinced life is a fucking unfunny joke and I'm going to force myself to work tomorrow and Thursday but after that I'm hoping I can finally die.

I don't think I'm going to bother with a suicide note. At the end of the day no one honestly cares and will probably be glad to see me gone.

 

[Xerxes]

Sucks to hear, but that's also my predicament as well. People don't give a shit right now, but after you go, they be like, "Oh man AveryConure killed himself, wish there was something I could've done!" followed by "My friend Avery killed himself, if you ever feel down call the Suicide prevention hotline"

 

[AveryConure]

Sucks to hear, but that's also my predicament as well. People don't give a shit right now, but after you go, they be like, "Oh man AveryConure killed himself, wish there was something I could've done!" followed by "My friend Avery killed himself, if you ever feel down call the Suicide prevention hotline"

Yuuuupp.

It's just fucking pathetic at this point. If they actually gave a fuck they'd do something about it right now, but there's not much else life can offer me at this point. I'm just fucking done.

 

[Shewaitsforme]

Now this is just fucking embarrassing. Mental healthcare in a nutshell folks.

I told my goodbyes, turns out most of my friends actually don't give a shit and are honestly begging me to do it right this time, I'm fully convinced life is a fucking unfunny joke and I'm going to force myself to work tomorrow and Thursday but after that I'm hoping I can finally die.

I don't think I'm going to bother with a suicide note. At the end of the day no one honestly cares and will probably be glad to see me gone.

Are you in the UK. Last time i cancelled an appointment with the mental health team they came to my house and 2 hours later i was sectioned for 5 weeks. Ive had a follow up with my GP yesterday, welfare call today and they want me to come in next week, the woman on the phone slipped up and said its with the doctor and a mental health worker. Ive already be warned if i dont show or cancel then it will have reprecussions. I sought help, realised its not what i want now im in a rush to get my method equipment and go before they continue these weekly visits, phonecalls or take me back to hospital

 

[worldexploder]

Begging you to do it? Like are they egging you on?

 

[Vitosaurus]

Sucks to hear, but that's also my predicament as well. People don't give a shit right now, but after you go, they be like, "Oh man AveryConure killed himself, wish there was something I could've done!" followed by "My friend Avery killed himself, if you ever feel down call the Suicide prevention hotline"

That is so real! Always that damn referral to the suicide hotline.

 

[AveryConure]

Are you in the UK. Last time i cancelled an appointment with the mental health team they came to my house and 2 hours later i was sectioned for 5 weeks. Ive had a follow up with my GP yesterday, welfare call today and they want me to come in next week, the woman on the phone slipped up and said its with the doctor and a mental health worker. Ive already be warned if i dont show or cancel then it will have reprecussions. I sought help, realised its not what i want now im in a rush to get my method equipment and go before they continue these weekly visits, phonecalls or take me back to hospital

Nope I'm in the US and it's actually even worse believe it or not. they really don't give a fuck.

 

[AveryConure]

Begging you to do it? Like are they egging you on?

they barely say anything to me so i think at this point they're just fucking tired of saying anything to me and just thinking "okay either actually do it or i'll just talk to you 2 weeks from now lol"

 

[Nofaith]

Ive already be warned if i dont show or cancel then it will have reprecussions.

What the hell?
What do they mean by repercussions?

 

[Shewaitsforme]

What the hell?
What do they mean by repercussions?

Same as before, they will call me, come to my flat and if they cant find or speak to me face to face they will inform police, either way it will be another spell in hospital amd i dont want that to happen. I managed to get off a section 3 and discharged 3 weeks ago, wont be so easy next time

 

[Retched]

Nope I'm in the US and it's actually even worse believe it or not. they really don't give a fuck.

Here in the US you are just back out in a matter of days unless you are really messed up. They don't gaf about suicide. Just tell the people you live with to lock up knives and plastic bags and tylenol. Its freaking ridiculous here. I read about the time off people get in the UK and other places/home visits/follow up appointments...here, you are screwed, and double screwed if you don't have insurance. Shit. I'm surprised that suicide methods aren't just encouraged instead.

 

[AveryConure]

Here in the US you are just back out in a matter of days unless you are really messed up. They don't gaf about suicide. Just tell the people you live with to lock up knives and plastic bags and tylenol. Its freaking ridiculous here. I read about the time off people get in the UK and other places/home visits/follow up appointments...here, you are screwed, and double screwed if you don't have insurance. Shit. I'm surprised that suicide methods aren't just encouraged instead.

Oh, and the people I live with don't even have the time to do that shit anyways. You would think the suicide hotline here would honestly at this point give you suggestions to efficiently kill yourself instead.

 

[TAW122]

Yeah mental health care in the US is absolute shit and a total joke. While I've never been hospitalized (if I ever did I'd kms at the earliest successful/reliable opportunity I get) either voluntary or involuntary, I've heard and seen enough stories to know how horrible it is. People really don't care, they just say they do to be socially acceptable and to feel good about themselves. As for suicide notes, I know that you aren't gonna write one, but I myself will write one and only to my loved ones (and maybe one here for the people who do understand my reasoning and philosophy).

Anyways, I hope you are able to find peace in whichever decision you take.

 

[Shewaitsforme]

Jeeze the US really like that, ive heard the stories. Over here some people literally love being on a psych ward, ypu dont pay for anything. 3 meals a day, free meds, own room. One woman was in for 2.5 years and now she has been given supported accomodation and again she wont pay for that. Some women go in for this fact alone that when they come out they will be better off financially. You can tell with some people they are just playibg the game and when some are about to get discharged they do something that makes sure they are kept longer. Its a joke tbh how some people milk the system. I had 2 jobs, money in the bank, friends so i didnt want to go in, 2 months later im now broke, no friends and no job, cant pay my rent. I dont qualify for benefits as im technically still employed by the NHS but on sick leave till im signed off by the doctor i cant be sacked, doctor wont sign me off. Ill probably get 200 this month soon as its hits my account im buying the nitrogen. I have nothing left thanks to being sectioned

 

[Xerxes]

If the hospitals know you're suicidal, they will hold you against your will and Baker Act you by order of judge or head director of the hospital. They send you to the "Behavioral Unit" for at least 3 days. Men and women are clumped together in one unit, the orderly does 15 min checks to make sure you're alright and not hurting yourself. You have to leave your door open, and they got everything covered in shatterproof fiberglass. The TV is in the big plastic case, All the knobs and joints are rounded so you can't get stuck on it to hang yourself. All the plugs and outlets are child-proof, and the furniture is bolted to the walls and floors. You cannot touch the staff, but the staff can touch you, put you down, give you a KO Needle, or restrain you in isolation rooms. You can however assault a fellow patient. Had this one lady who was schizo attack another woman because she didn't like her hairstyle and the voices told her to. Staff members just watched and did talk therapy while schizo lady beat the shit out of her.

The staff enforce a no-contact rule for themselves to avoid lawsuits. You see your psychiatrist once in the morning, for about 15 mins. The food is shit, 15 min activity time which may include drawing, meditation, or music therapy. On the weekend they have pet therapy, but due to schizo lady, no more pets because she kicked a dog. Can't sleep because you hear people yelling and screaming, had to be careful around another lady cause she'll cry rape if you look at her.

Yep. Mental health in America is a joke. The entire time I was there they tried to push pills on me and I said no each time. And after activities you're spent wandering around for hours, bored and alone with your thoughts which is bad.

 

[Shewaitsforme]

@Xerxes similar to the uk in terms of actual treatment of patients. KO injections, checks etc. Furnature isnt bolted down on acute wards but on high risk wards it is. Rare activities due to funding cuts but for some its better to be in there as opoose to on the street. They have to release you with somewhere to go tho as you have a mental health home teams, social workers etc basically their job is to support you so you dont end up back in hospital although if they deem your a risk to yourself or others they will take you right back in in literally less than a few hours. If they sign you off your back to being under the care of your GP, im at that stage now but because i cant have medication (cant help but OD) in my home and my mental health is declining i see my GP again next week. Broke down in her office Monday. She set me another appointment but didnt tell me she was bringing in a mental health person too. I fear ill be sectioned again but the thoughts i have have progressed into hurting others. Im a bouncer and work on the ambulances so thjs really scares me, if i can almost cope with the thoughts about hurting myself but im scared ill snap and act on wanting to hurt others, that for me. It was time i stopped lying about whats going on and came clean to the doctor so ill see what happens Monday. Ive stopped drinking, taking drugs as one time the home team came and i was off my head, dont remember them being here, i thought id just fallen asleep. Apparently i followed them out when they left and wasnt making sence, what if id have gone upstairs and hurt them, i wouldnt even have known i did it.

 

[Xerxes]

Luckily when I got Baker Act'd, it didn't go on my record. Otherwise finding a job would be pretty difficult if they had to check my background.

 

[AveryConure]

My ratchet straps arrived but hey guess what

My mom found them and the noose I still had with a slipknot tied on it and asked me multiple questions about it but I just told her "I don't want to talk about it."

I might try to find my ratchet straps eventually but I doubt she'll know what the cornhole bags were also for.