Can mental issues/illnesses not be a reason even if sometimes they might not be ever present? Anxiety is awful in any form and any time it strikes. I'm sorry you also suffer from it.
I think that is a good point! Mental illness, or whatever else it may be called, is its own affliction, I think. Thank you for the kindness here as well, I'm sorry that you are familiar with it too.
In many ways I think my life is okay or good from an outside perspective, I've got jobs and I'm not on awful terms with my family. But my mental issues feel debilitating and that's why I've always wanted to go. It doesn't matter sometimes even if I can manage if I'll always have an unease clawing away inside of me at all times. It makes the time so intolerable. My head can hurt so much and cause me so much pain that death really does seem preferable. I don't think I can get rid of this without either dying or being put on meds the rest of my life, and the latter doesn't sound like much of a life as someone who feels like gagging at the thought of taking pills.
I am sorry you are suffering through something so agonizing. I know there's no easy fix, but please be aware that I am wishing the best for you, where ever your path leads. You deserve peace.
Please correct me if I misunderstood anything you wrote though. But even if your anxiety and other pains aren't around the clock, they do still sound consistent and things like that can make living unbearable regardless of how "good" your life should be, if our minds won't let us enjoy it we'll still be miserable or suffer and then an out can seem nicer.
I've always thought there were problems with my mind and only saw the real solution to get rid of my mind, so that to me is my reason, or one at least. So I don't really fit for not having a reason. Though sometimes I will tell myself how the life I have should be enjoyable and I shouldn't have any reason to be struggling as I am, and then hate myself that I'm not okay. I wouldn't know what words to put on anything, I tend to slap too many words in my posts regardless and should hold back haha I found this topic interesting and liked how you wrote so thank you for it. Best wishes whatever you decide to do, and I'm sorry you're struggling despite working as hard as you are for things.
I really enjoyed reading your comment and thoughts. I think you are really insightful and put a perspective on it that more people should hear! I really appreciate the time you took to discuss things too, thank you. <3
I can't relate to things in my life going well lol but going from wanting to die all the time to sometimes being alright having the will to live, the whiplash is nuts. And the background feeling yea.
Magic mushrooms or other psychedelics or ketamine might help with this (in the right setting). To see things in a new light. A lot of studies have come out on how they can help.
i'm sorry that you have been going through all that too. i haven't ever tried anything along those lines, but it may be something to look into then!!
Well, emotional pain is reason enough for me. Various factors in my life are pretty good. Income from disability and food stamps covers my bills, I like my living situation, I like my friends, love my pets, I'm pretty amused throughout the day and in a good mood… doesn't change emotional pain though, even on the best of days, it's like a beach ball being held under the water, always bursts to the surface eventually. I'd rather end that cycle on a good note.
Pain is pain. Whatever form it solidifies into. I feel this too, and though I have no sure answers, I hope you are able to find some peace. Thank you for at least taking the time to comment and talk about it here.
I feel like life is going to get really worse in next couple years in the west progressively it's maybe worth to go for that reason alone so don't have to see the suffering.
I know things have been escalating and been bleak for the last while, but I am curious, is there something specific that makes you think this? I am at a loss as far as hypothesizing about the large-scale future of the world.
Life is always uncertain and always holds potential for bad things happening in the future. So even if things are alright at the moment, it makes sense to me to want to escape the inherent precariousness of life.
I like the term of inherent precariousness of life, I think that illustrates the greater concept of my apprehension with society and having to play a part in it in general as well.
It doesn't always have to be something specific inside life that makes it undesirable, it can just be the way the whole system of life itself is set up. Or that's how I feel about it.
I think that's a pretty fair way to look at it! Outside of the mental baggage, that is something I have been arriving to as well. Thank you for commenting about it, this actually helped me verbalize some of my thoughts!
We all have the right to exit this world at a time of our own choosing, it is a personal decision when to leave this world and nobody needs to justify their reasons for leaving. For me life itself is enough of a reason to make me want to leave. I just prefer the sound of non existence. It sounds so peaceful to never experience anything ever again. I'm sorry that you are struggling with anxiety, I can imagine that it must be really awful. I wish you the best in whatever happens.
Thank you so much for your kindness. I see you often in comments and such around here and have always admired and appreciated your thoughts, so I appreciate you sharing those here too. Nonexistence is appealing to me too, if a lack of consciousness is what awaits after death then I would welcome it. It's nice to hear those thoughts be echoed!
Yes. You stole the words from my mouth. It's a comfort, however minute, to know that at least I'm not the only one who feels this way - albeit double edged knowing you're also experiencing the mental agony it entails. My life is great - some would kill to have it - and yet here I am cavalierly squandering it on self pity and self destruction. I don't know what I ever did to deserve the blessings that I have.
It may not be about deserving at all. We are each born into circumstances we do not dictate and much of the tools we are given for life begin with the random contexts in which we are raised. We have some material reality and based upon that we decide the people we will be. Sometimes there's not much room for choice at all, though. It really is a bittersweet thing, to find people who understand. At once the solace of finding another person who you can commemorate your shared experiences with is lovely, but then you have to face the fact of sadness that another person does indeed know that same pain.
I am sorry you know this feeling, I wish there was a way to rid you of it that I knew. But as it is, I hope you can find some peace knowing you aren't alone. That you brought some joy to my life still with this comment. And that I am wishing the best for you.
As for putting it into words, the closest I get is overdramatic poetry - mostly similes and metaphors.
I actually really enjoy poetry. If you share it anywhere I would love to read it!
