Venting wanting to die again

[puppydoggy]

tried 2 kill myself and went to the hospital and it sucked lol and jn still right back in the place that made me want to fucking die. im stuck and have nowhere else and my relationship with my boyfriend is jsut so toxic. he has explosive anxiety attacks which result in him yelling and slamming doors and neither of us can be left alone which is jsut fucking traumatizing bc we almost have to go to the bathroom together so one of us doesn't hurt or kill ourselves. in debating just going back to the fucking hospital because at least its not here. i dont know what to do im just exhausted all the time

 

[CommitSudoku]

If you think you need to go to the hospital to be safe and decide that is best for you, then I hope you're able to go. If not, perhaps you can look for shelters to stay at since it doesn't sound very safe for either of you there. Best wishes whatever you decide to do and I hope you're able to get to somewhere safer and find peace and rest.

 

[DeepSlumber]

Ditto

 

[waitingforrest]

I can understand the feeling of being in a hard place when it comes to other suicidal people in my life. It sometimes feels like the only reason I don't ctb is because it might make others ctb.

I would feel so guilty if my actions hurt someone but consider going to the hospital just for yourself. I know it can feel selfish to put yourself first but taking care of your health allows you to help others better.

Your boyfriend shouldn't be treating you like that, mental illness or not, he is still responsible for his actions. I hope all goes well for what you decide to do, navigating these hard decisions takes a toll when there doesn't seem like a clear right choice.

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds like an awful situation to be in. I'm sorry that you are suffering so much, I can imagine that it must be unbearable. I understand that it is so hard to carry on when you are tired of everything. I wish you the best in whatever happens.