Venting Wanting to be loved

[lisa_]

I really want to find someone to love me for me. I finally want to feel love. I am very vulnerable to love. I've gotten groomed a lot because they gave me the attention I always craved from someone. I eventually met this guy last year at my school, and we got close. He makes me feel so happy, but sometimes he makes me feel sad. I started to self-harm myself because I'd overthink everything about the relationship me and him had. I decided to confess to him in June, because I thought feelings were mutual. He ended up giving me the most confusing answer. I took it as rejection. I still had hope that even as friends he would ask to hangout at least just one time over the summer, but he never asked. I wanted to ask but i felt like i put all the effort in. I felt so stupid thinking that he would see me the way I saw him. We would still text everyday, and then in August school started, and i saw him again. I talk to him sometimes whenever I get to see him, and we would still text every day, but he continues to give me mixed feelings. It's so embarrassing that I can't move on from him. Lately he's been taking a while to answer my texts. I feel like he's getting bored of me. I don't understand why now, after a year. Each time I walk by his friends look at me. I feel like they know something I don't know, but what could it be? I would literally do anything for him. He drains the life out of me. Sometimes I just want to die and accept failure for not being able to be loved by him. Older guys still contact me, and sometimes I answer them, because I just want attention. It distracts me a bit, but in reality the only person I desire is him. I feel like if he doesn't love me, then my life doesn't really matter.

 

[Deleted member 8975]

i know what it's like to love someone who doesnt love you back. it's devestating

 

[lisa_]

i know what it's like to love someone who doesnt love you back. it's devestating

It really is! :(

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I really want to find someone to love me for me. I finally want to feel love. I am very vulnerable to love. I've gotten groomed a lot because they gave me the attention I always craved from someone. I eventually met this guy last year at my school, and we got close. He makes me feel so happy, but sometimes he makes me feel sad. I started to self-harm myself because I'd overthink everything about the relationship me and him had. I decided to confess to him in June, because I thought feelings were mutual. He ended up giving me the most confusing answer. I take it as rejection. I still had hope that even as friends he would ask to hangout at least just one time over the summer, but he never asked. I wanted to ask but i felt like i put all the effort in. I felt so stupid thinking that he would see me the way I saw him. We would still text everyday, and then in August school started, and i saw him again. I talk to him sometimes whenever I get to see him, and we would still text every day, but he continues to give me mixed feelings. It's so embarrassing that I can't move on from him. Lately he's been taking a while to answer my texts. I feel like he's getting bored of me. I don't understand why now, after a year. Each time I walk by his friends look at me. I feel like they know something I don't know, but what could it be? I would literally do anything for him. He drains the life out of me. Sometimes I just want to die and accept failure for not being able to be loved by him. Older guys still contact me, and sometimes I answer them, because I just want attention. It distracts me a bit, but in reality the only person I desire is him. I feel like if he doesn't love me, then my life doesn't really matter.

Is it possible to ask him for clarity?

It's normal to want love and it's normal to want attention and validation.

Its understandable if you felt he might feel that way about you if he was giving you signs. It doesn't make you stupid for hoping he would even if there weren't any clear signs.

Now that he knows the truth he really should be honest with you.

I understand the embarrassment but attachments to people don't disappear that easily.

 

[tomsguam]

i know what it's like to love someone who doesnt love you back. it's devestating

yeah, It really hurts

 

[ClownCringe]

Gotta get a good grasp on his perspective and expectations. Test the waters on how much you can communicate with him about this. And if the feelings not mutual, its OK to move on.

 

[lisa_]

Is it possible to ask him for clarity?

It's normal to want love and it's normal to want attention and validation.

Its understandable if you felt he might feel that way about you if he was giving you signs. It doesn't make you stupid for hoping he would even if there weren't any clear signs.

Now that he knows the truth he really should be honest with you.

I understand the embarrassment but attachments to people don't disappear that easily.

I did ask him if he could explain what he meant when I confessed, but he told me that doesn't he needs to explain anything.

Is it possible to ask him for clarity?

It's normal to want love and it's normal to want attention and validation.

Its understandable if you felt he might feel that way about you if he was giving you signs. It doesn't make you stupid for hoping he would even if there weren't any clear signs.

Now that he knows the truth he really should be honest with you.

I understand the embarrassment but attachments to people don't disappear that easily.

I've tried but he said he didn't need to explain and further, but ty for your kind words!

Gotta get a good grasp on his perspective and expectations. Test the waters on how much you can communicate with him about this. And if the feelings not mutual, it's OK to move on.

Yeah, I'll try, thank you so much for your words . I sometimes try to let go of him, but it seems like he doesn't want to let go of me either.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

That's lame he said that. I hope with some time this attachment to him fades and you can focus on people worthy of you.

 

[OICU812]

Lately he's been taking a while to answer my texts. I feel like he's getting bored of me.

Well this part doesn't sound good. I'm a guy and this sounds like he's hoping that if he takes a long time to answer your texts, then eventually you'll stop texting and go away. It's a typical guy move: it's a very passive aggressive / chicken shit thing to do. This proves that he does not deserve your love.

 

[Dr. Henjin]

Well this part doesn't sound good. I'm a guy and this sounds like he's hoping that if he takes a long time to answer your texts, then eventually you'll stop texting and go away. It's a typical guy move: it's a very passive aggressive / chicken shit thing to do. This proves that he does not deserve your love.

Yeah as a guy this is a red flag. You should try and find someone more deserving of your love. If they cared they would be dying to message you, not avoiding you and giving you chicken shit excuses. I'm in no way trying to make you feel worse, this is just my experience. It can be emotionally abusive to yourself chasing someone who doesn't feel the same way. Trust me I know.

 

[F&Inside]

Hello.
Love should be natural and reciprocated. Sometimes we don't want to see and we end up with people who aren't worth our time.
Focus on when the other person reciprocates and treats you as you deserve.

 

[Old Friend]

Well this part doesn't sound good. I'm a guy and this sounds like he's hoping that if he takes a long time to answer your texts, then eventually you'll stop texting and go away. It's a typical guy move: it's a very passive aggressive / chicken shit thing to do. This proves that he does not deserve your love.

Believe you me, girls often do that too because they want you to "take the hint". In fact, I associate it with girls more than guys. A lot of guys don't care much for frequent texting anyway. Personally, I can find it a chore even if I like and care about the person messaging me.

 

[tired0zymandias]

Well, in my case its my ex. We had a really wonderful relationship but I fucked up.

And now that she's no longer mine, I really craving for love.

Its okay to be wanting to be loved. But maybe he's not the one for you.