Wanting a safe place for women on this site.

[Lookingtoflyfree]

I am very tired of the open misogyny of the main part of the board and don't know if I should stop visiting here or just spend more time in the Recovery section instead. I really need to support but fear the judgement that comes in most mental health/SI discussions - at the same time, there is just a core of weird incel folks in the main discussion. I don't have the space to start a Discord but really wish there were places for us especially for women who deal with autism and other disabilities. It is exhausting to have to dodge the hatred of women when you're just looking to support others or be supported.

 

[Davey40210]

Where did you see hatred towards women on the forum?

Sorry I'm a guy (and not exactly good at social cues) so maybe I didn't register those posts like a woman would. But I am on the forum like all the time and don't recall such hateful posts.. rather I think everyone here is really supportive and open.

 

[Lookingtoflyfree]

Where did you see hatred towards women on the forum?

Sorry I'm a guy (and not exactly good at social cues) so maybe I didn't register those posts like a woman would. But I am on the forum like all the time and don't recall such hateful posts.. rather I think everyone here is really supportive and open.

There's a guy talking about p*ssy, multiple posts about being incels who love Jordan Peterson, openly supporting Trump and arguing with people who are upset about Roe v. Wade being overturned.

It is not at all surprising that MINUTES after I post a discussion that a man is questioning my lived experience and contradicting me. It reinforces the need for us to have safety and respect in our own spaces away from men continuing to invaludating us.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

There's a peer support thread:

Women’s Space Peer Support Megathread

This is a Megathread where women can share their experiences, vent, connect with others in a similar situation, and give/receive support. This space is dedicated to fostering a safe and understanding environment for all women, including trans women and non-binary women. You can post as often or...

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[Davey40210]

There's a guy talking about p*ssy, multiple posts about being incels who love Jordan Peterson, openly supporting Trump and arguing with people who are upset about Roe v. Wade being overturned.

It is not at all surprising that MINUTES after I post a discussion that a man is questioning my lived experience and contradicting me. It reinforces the need for us to have safety and respect in our own spaces away from men continuing to invaludating us.

I was just trying to understand. I didn't mean to invalidate anyone, your experience is your own.

I wont comment anymore then.

 

[d3ad]

The best thing you can do is to just ignore, tbh. Even this post could invite incels (if they exist in here) to come and attack you or something.

I was just trying to understand. I didn't mean to invalidate anyone, your experience is your own.

I wont comment anymore then.

Hey, I know you probably meant well, but this part "But I am on the forum like all the time and don't recall such hateful posts.. rather I think everyone here is really supportive and open." can be interpreted as invalidating.

 

[WhiteRabbit]

It used to be so much worse here. Gross incel speak was extremely common. The founders of the site were incels. Some of the mods were incels. It's gotten better over the years, but obviously we still have a ways to go.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I honestly don't get the point of signing up here you just plan on being misogynistic the entire time. Just sign up to an incel forum or something, don't bring that crap here.

 

[Downdraft]

That's a problem that sadly wasn't well contained. There were suggestions to ban incel rhetoric but never were unfortunately. IMO there should be no tolerance for this people, you lend them your hand and a safe space, and they'll grab your whole arm and think they lord the place. Having allowed their discourse for so long contradicts the idea of a safe space this place aims to be.

It used to be so much worse here. Gross incel speak was extremely common. The founders of the site were incels. Some of the mods were incels. It's gotten better over the years, but obviously we still have a ways to go.

 

[Dot]

There's a guy talking about p*ssy, multiple posts about being incels who love Jordan Peterson, openly supporting Trump and arguing with people who are upset about Roe v. Wade being overturned.

It is not at all surprising that MINUTES after I post a discussion that a man is questioning my lived experience and contradicting me. It reinforces the need for us to have safety and respect in our own spaces away from men continuing to invaludating us.

Rport - mods cn gve out warnngs & bans

 

[Lookingtoflyfree]

I do report people but honestly on every platform I've been on I'm constantly doing that, and I just wish they could as someone said take their incel talk elsewhere. If someone's looking for support or CTB info they have a right to see that without triggering and retraumatizing content, especially since members on the board may have experience sexual assault. I hope the guys who don't think it's a problem read this and rethink their incel pride.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

There's a guy talking about p*ssy, multiple posts about being incels who love Jordan Peterson, openly supporting Trump and arguing with people who are upset about Roe v. Wade being overturned.

Who are they?

 

[RosebyAnyName]

I'm sorry you had to see that type of content here, I can sympathize with it being triggering. There's a point where I just kind of accepted that there's no escaping misogyny no matter what website, forum, or social media service I use. The most you can do for SaSu is go to the women's support thread linked above, report content that goes against the rules, block people, and try to ignore what you can't report or block.

 

[CTB Dream]

V sry hpn ya vry mysgn evn me disabl womn ppl keep atk hars make injury damage wrs make pain make sffr

 

[JoysoftheEmptiness]

I've not seen any misogyny, open or otherwise on this site, I've been here a few weeks, all I've seen is support for people like me, who are struggling with life. There are really good people here, male, female, or other. I wish I found this place sooner. If you find anything amiss here, then report it to the admins.

I am very tired of the open misogyny of the main part of the board and don't know if I should stop visiting here or just spend more time in the Recovery section instead. I really need to support but fear the judgement that comes in most mental health/SI discussions - at the same time, there is just a core of weird incel folks in the main discussion. I don't have the space to start a Discord but really wish there were places for us especially for women who deal with autism and other disabilities. It is exhausting to have to dodge the hatred of women when you're just looking to support others or be supported.

 

[Downdraft]

Rport - mods cn gve out warnngs & bans

It's a "cut their head and two will grow" situation. Sadly they keep spawning, only solution I see is to restrict some speech.

That and if someone has names of Elliot or General Alek don't let them join in first place...

 

[thenorthern]

there seem to be a lot of those types around here sadly. Just gonna be part of the site though, it seems.

 

[Ashu]

I honestly don't get the point of signing up here you just plan on being misogynistic the entire time. Just sign up to an incel forum or something, don't bring that crap here.

Yeah but... incels also get suicidal, and their reasons for wanting to die are incel reasons. And this is a forum for suicidal people.

 

[Lookingtoflyfree]

I've not seen any misogyny, open or otherwise on this site, I've been here a few weeks, all I've seen is support for people like me, who are struggling with life. There are really good people here, male, female, or other. I wish I found this place sooner. If you find anything amiss here, then report it to the admins.

So you not seeing it and saying all you've seen is support is really dismissive. But it's good, I see who I can block and not. I obviously am reporting the content and don't appreciate you invalidating me.

 

[Downdraft]

Yeah but... incels also get suicidal, and their reasons for wanting to die are incel reasons. And this is a forum for suicidal people.

There's a huge difference between "I feel soul-crushingly alone" and the "women are whorish creatures" speech that's often implied. They can post their feelings, but conflating their terrible views with it won't help them or the poor people who will feel worse as result.

 

[Red_sleep]

I'm sorry you experienced this, I never browse the forum so can't speak for that.

However, you could try join the Chat-room. I very rarely see misogny or incels there. People are overall very supportive of each other especially women. Sometimes a troll/incel slips through (usually a new account), but they are quickly to get banned or told to leave.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I've not seen any misogyny, open or otherwise on this site, I've been here a few weeks, all I've seen is support for people like me, who are struggling with life. There are really good people here, male, female, or other. I wish I found this place sooner. If you find anything amiss here, then report it to the admins.

Just because you haven't seen any misogyny on here doesn't mean it isn't there, let alone that it isn't a huge problem on here. There are a lot of cases of people being misogynistic on here. Hell, there have been two cases of users, @General Alek and @LiuKang, having incels who are infamous for having killed people (Elliot Rodgers and Alek Minassian) as their pfps.

 

[dogteeth]

yeah honestly seeing the posts talking about wanting sex is pretty gross i wish there was a separate tag for nsfw kinda stuff so that we can choose to ignore it

 

[Dot]

yeah honestly seeing the posts talking about wanting sex is pretty gross i wish there was a separate tag for nsfw kinda stuff so that we can choose to ignore it

Thre = specfc nsfw tg

 

[dogteeth]

Thre = specfc nsfw tg

ive found it now, thank you for ur reply! does seem like a lot of people dont use it tho when they maybe should :(

 

[Chili]

I hate to hear you're feeling invalidated. I'm a woman, and fortunately haven't really run into anything real misogynistic on the forum.

Unfortunately, it's an open forum and incel terminology isn't against the rules. You can call people out, but incels and sexists are on all social media platforms. I think Trump is an idiot but I don't police people's political views. If I have a problem, I say so or scroll. I can strike up a conversation about why, y'know, bigotry is bad but it's ultimately it's not my job or worth my time to try and convert someone. I just let them be knowing they're never getting cooch with their shit attitudes. It's better to scroll, or join the women's support chats/threads. Like others say, the forum was created by incels and is going to have some of that rhetoric.

 

[Rust]

While I can understand your anger, everyone who has replied in this thread has replied in good faith. Lashing out at people doesn't help anyone. You remain upset and they feel dejected.

I wont comment anymore then.

Like the fact that this was said and that no-one cares is really saddening.

If you're talking about the abortion thread in the Offtopic section, then I totally agree, it's a cesspool. But yeah, if you share your experiences, then a proper discussion can be had. People do care and are all ears for what you have to say. But there certainitly is a kinder way to respond to some of the people who have posted in this thread. If you disagree with me, feel free to block me. People are already hurting, no need to add to it, you included.

 

[Lookingtoflyfree]

While I can understand your anger, everyone who has replied in this thread has replied in good faith. Lashing out at people doesn't help anyone. You remain upset and they feel dejected.

Like the fact that this was said and that no-one cares is really saddening.

If you're talking about the abortion thread in the Offtopic section, then I totally agree, it's a cesspool. But yeah, if you share your experiences, then a proper discussion can be had. People do care and are all ears for what you have to say. But there certainitly is a kinder way to respond to some of the people who have posted in this thread. If you disagree with me, feel free to block me. People are already hurting, no need to add to it, you included.

The 'there's a kinder way' and 'I can understand your anger but..' and telling me I'm 'lashing out' - a lot of assumptions. The 'no need to add to it, you included' is rude. Your response is proving my point - thanks. Ad as you said, I'm free to ignore/block people who seem to be dismissive and argumentative so that's what I'll do with you. It's really interesting it's on most of us to have to ignore people rather than people taking it as a moment of reflection and changing their behavior.

I don't mind if someone disagrees with me but I don't need your rudeness on my lived experience.

 

[Life_and_Death]

rather than people taking it as a moment of reflection and changing their behavior.

have you taken a moment to reflect on yourself??
im sure that probably comes off "dismissive" and "argumentative" to you. but im honestly asking and curious if youve reflected on the way youve spoken to the people in this thread trying to understand you and explain their pov. (which isnt the same as pushing their pov)

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Yeah but... incels also get suicidal, and their reasons for wanting to die are incel reasons. And this is a forum for suicidal people.

It's one thing to be suicidal, it's another to spend your time on here spreading misogynistic rhetoric. If you are going to be spending your time on here doing so, then why bother signing up here in the first place? If you are going to be a member on here then at bare minimum, keep your misogyny to yourself.