As the title suggest thats what I want to do but afraid that if I fail at CTB I would be in a hospital or it would be shut down too soon.
Here's a few posts you could read
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/live-streaming-ctb.12292/
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/would-you-live-stream-your-own-ctb-attempt.6911/
Personally I shouldn't show others how I ctb. Not good. I think it should be done in privacy.
GoodPersonEffed
Brevity is my middle name, but my name was TL
- Jan 11, 2020
- 6,727
Sounds like you're not wanting to do this for the forum, but for a wider audience?
If that's true...it seems that would be doing it for attention, or to harm someone by them watching, or for shock value, or to make some kind of dramatic statement that will also be traumatizing for others.
If that's the case, it reminds me of PETA protestors outside of a department store during Christmas shopping who held up signs with photos of animals who had been slaughtered for fur. It was traumatizing to folks who had no thought of buying fur, and to children, and to me -- I was just using the damn sidewalk. It also reminds me of a flasher. Both are examples of no-touch assault.
So, I would honestly hope that your stream would be cut off. I don't wish hospitalization for you. I only wish for your peace and well-being, and that you wouldn't assault others and make them passive participants. Some folks may get off on it, but others are going to feel helpless, and they're not going to be able to get the images out of their minds -- and maybe that's what you want. It hurts me to imagine it, and maybe that's what you want, too. That doesn't fit with what I've seen of your posts, so I sincerely hope I'm misunderstanding what you're trying to do here.
If that's true...it seems that would be doing it for attention, or to harm someone by them watching, or for shock value, or to make some kind of dramatic statement that will also be traumatizing for others.
If that's the case, it reminds me of PETA protestors outside of a department store during Christmas shopping who held up signs with photos of animals who had been slaughtered for fur. It was traumatizing to folks who had no thought of buying fur, and to children, and to me -- I was just using the damn sidewalk. It also reminds me of a flasher. Both are examples of no-touch assault.
So, I would honestly hope that your stream would be cut off. I don't wish hospitalization for you. I only wish for your peace and well-being, and that you wouldn't assault others and make them passive participants. Some folks may get off on it, but others are going to feel helpless, and they're not going to be able to get the images out of their minds -- and maybe that's what you want. It hurts me to imagine it, and maybe that's what you want, too. That doesn't fit with what I've seen of your posts, so I sincerely hope I'm misunderstanding what you're trying to do here.
It's to show how much I suffer. I want people to know *and see my pain* . only way to make a point in this world. That's just how I feel about it. Actions speak louder than words.
Despondent
Archangel
- Dec 20, 2019
- 6,777
No one will ever know the amount of pain you've experienced even if you do share your method to and for an audience. They'll only see what things have come to and will have the slightest idea, but they'll never truely and fully know.
Keep in mind -- there are some who would watch for the wrong reasons. Some people enjoy seeing these kinds of things for other reasons and it's sickening.
SpottedPanda
I'm all about coffee and cigarettes
- Jul 24, 2019
- 612
I've been thinking, in moments of nothing better to do, about filming my suicide, and then having the video posted here, but as well as it being a technical feat, it's also probably not going to be very informative or helpful.
People who see it probably wouldn't read too much into it. There are shock value sites such as BestGore, but who cares, really? It's a stranger. People watch things out of morbid curiosity. Shock videos seldom seem to make a point to those who watch. Most would probably conclude either 'that's messed up', or simply 'that person must have been messed up'.
People who see it probably wouldn't read too much into it. There are shock value sites such as BestGore, but who cares, really? It's a stranger. People watch things out of morbid curiosity. Shock videos seldom seem to make a point to those who watch. Most would probably conclude either 'that's messed up', or simply 'that person must have been messed up'.
Quarky00
Enlightened
- Dec 17, 2019
- 1,956
I share similar wishes , it's not just to convey pain and make a point , but to tell some of my story/end , to feel I'm not alone in death , and to give some meaning to life / death (help others) 
I don't think it'd be possible to live stream , and afterwards for the video to circulate safely ..
I don't think it'd be possible to live stream , and afterwards for the video to circulate safely ..
shipwreck
Student
- May 7, 2020
- 155
Why not make a video about your situation without filming your ctb? Less splashy, but people are more likely to respond positively if you convey it in a way that engages their sympathies than if you scream it at them by ctb'ing in front of them.
A ctb video would be quickly yanked from mainstream sites and might become fodder on gore sites. Not the impact you intended. A heartfelt video of you speaking could find a wide audience.
A ctb video would be quickly yanked from mainstream sites and might become fodder on gore sites. Not the impact you intended. A heartfelt video of you speaking could find a wide audience.
First of all, I am sorry you are in so much pain and find yourself contemplating streaming your suicide.
Second of all, I get it that you want people to see how much you suffer, but I am afraid the act itself is so extreme that your video won't be touching, but rather considered by many a freak show.
Third of all, I would hate for anyone's last minutes to be turned into click bait on gore sites. It would be undignified and it would overshadow the great suffering which you endured.
I sincerely hope you will listen to @GoodPersonEffed @ceasetobreathe03 and @shipwreck who wrote such good answers to your question.
I wish you all the best!
Second of all, I get it that you want people to see how much you suffer, but I am afraid the act itself is so extreme that your video won't be touching, but rather considered by many a freak show.
Third of all, I would hate for anyone's last minutes to be turned into click bait on gore sites. It would be undignified and it would overshadow the great suffering which you endured.
I sincerely hope you will listen to @GoodPersonEffed @ceasetobreathe03 and @shipwreck who wrote such good answers to your question.
I wish you all the best!
GoodPersonEffed
Brevity is my middle name, but my name was TL
- Jan 11, 2020
- 6,727
I acknowledge and respect your motivation.
If you would be willing to consider...
People will only feel their own feelings when they watch it, not yours.
The only action they'll see is your suicide.
It's impossible to see someone else's pain. The world would perhaps be a better place if we could.
I'm sorry everyone who is leaving a reply. I havent replyed back because I'm having bad anxiety attacks. I will reply when I can. I'm sorry.
