want to go to Mexico for ctb but a little scared

[Knbmt]

First I'm afraid that panic will come when I eat n. How can I overcome it? i think the fear of eating n and the fear of hanging seem to be different feelings. and Is it a misconception that Mexico is a dangerous place? the important thing is that I don't even know the source of n yet.

 

[FuneralCry]

Nembutal sounds like the best and most peaceful way to ctb to me, if I had some I would feel so relieved. Hanging sounds risky and terrifying but N is a reliable method, I envy those who have access to it. The problem lies in how N isn't more easily accessible, if people could access N easily it would prevent so much suffering.

 

[Nathan2]

First I'm afraid that panic will come when I eat n. How can I overcome it? i think the fear of eating n and the fear of hanging seem to be different feelings. and Is it a misconception that Mexico is a dangerous place? the important thing is that I don't even know the source of n yet.

Hope your still able too read this but i promise you cbt is not the last option. As lost as things seem you can always do something with your life. Even if its something as hard as joining the army, or starting too go to the gym also a good way of lessening bad feelings is by quiting these kinds of forums they just make you sader.

 

[FireWalkWithMe]

To be honest I don't think panic matters so much with the N method. It is fast acting. It's probably not going to make a large difference to the mechanism. It would be nicer for you if you chilled out those last few mins but the truth is you're never going to be totally relaxed if you're an anxious type. So at least it's quick and reliable and pain free.

Also, even if Mexico is dangerous, it's probably not so dangerous it would perturb you from getting N if you knew you could procure it, right? Feels to me that the risk of being randomly targeted as a tourist is low for the reward of the best available method. Not like you're stepping into Sudan. Depends how bad you want it really. Truth is getting N is never going to be extremely comfortable these days, you have to go to a country with little to no oversight and put yourself out there.