It's so sad to me when I really stop to think about it… all of us folks on here just desperate for things to be over like this… I do think about it a lot… like all the other folks out there and what must be going on in their lives that they've found themselves on here feeling like this
Part of the problem right now is my mental health… I just feel sooo unbearably unbelievably stressed… I can't bear to think about anything at all…
I can't see any way forward at all in my own life… have reached a complete dead end in every way. My mental health is totally effed and somehow I'm supposed to keep going, looking for a job, working, keeping up with all my responsibilities. When at the same time I feel like I can't stand to be alive for another minute. Every day I just wake up feeling like I can't believe that this is my life, I can't believe the things that have ended up happening to me. Every day I have to face the horrible reality that this is really real and happening and I have to keep going, keep trying to find a way forward in the mess that is my life regardless. And also knowing that most likely there is no way out of where I am right now. Things are just going to keep getting worse and worse until I guess… I don't even know what happens… I die?