Want to die but i feel trapped

[uglyzuko]

i want to ctb so bad but i feel so trapped. cant overdose, pills have high failure. i tried to hang myself twice in 2017, either i sucked at it or it just didnt work. I cant take N, not enough money. cant drive or have a car so i cant drive myself in a lake. i was thinkijg of burning coal for carbon dioxide but again i dont have a car and i dont want to endanger my family members. i was thinking of a tent in the woods but i live in sf, im a minor. there are no woods in miami and i would be interrogated by my family if i were to purchase a tent. I have a job but i get paid absolutely peanuts.

i want to go so badly. i'm tired of being trapped in this prison. i shouldve ctb in 2017 but i wanted to see if things got better and it didnt, so im ready to get the fuck out of here but it seems much more bleak.

would sleeping pills + bag over head be sufficient?

 

[Lettam]

Have you looked into SN? It might be easy to get the required materials depending on your location.

 

[uglyzuko]

Have you looked into SN? It might be easy to get the required materials depending on your location.

I'm sorry, i'm not too well versed in the community's abbreivations. Do you mind telling me what SN is or pming me? thanks! im intrigued

 

[Kyrok]

Cheapest 12 gauge is about $150. With shipping, FFL fee, ammo, $200.

 

[tiggles2000]

Sodium nitrite. You should get 99% pure and some anti vomiting tablets. I'm not sure if the regime for taking them, but I think it's over 2 days

 

[Lettam]

I'm sorry, i'm not too well versed in the community's abbreivations. Do you mind telling me what SN is or pming me? thanks! im intrigued

I'd recommend taking a look here: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/sn-megathread.1156/

If you're in the USA (unsure about other locations) it's actually really, really easy to get the Sodium Nitrite required (I got mine from Amazon, lol) and the antiemetic was available on eBay and should be here soon.

Search Primperan on eBay and buy from a reliable greek seller and you should get the antiemetic within a couple of weeks for about $35ish.

I had actually never heard of this method before I came here and it'll be my method of choice.

 

[tiggles2000]

My method of choice is night-night or SN/DMSO. I'm bad at describing, but have a look at the thread started by a guy name Xerxes. It's extremly useful on this method.

 

[uglyzuko]

Cheapest 12 gauge is about $150. With shipping, FFL fee, ammo, $200.

are you referring to guns? if so thats also not an option. im a teen living in a surburban town with little money (unless i save up), idk where to even start with buying a gun :(

 

[uglyzuko]

My method of choice is night-night or SN/DMSO. I'm bad at describing, but have a look at the thread started by a guy name Xerxes. It's extremly useful on this method.

Thank you so much!!! You rock

 

[uglyzuko]

I'd recommend taking a look here: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/sn-megathread.1156/

If you're in the USA (unsure about other locations) it's actually really, really easy to get the Sodium Nitrite required (I got mine from Amazon, lol) and the antiemetic was available on eBay and should be here soon.

Search Primperan on eBay and buy from a reliable greek seller and you should get the antiemetic within a couple of weeks for about $35ish.

I had actually never heard of this method before I came here and it'll be my method of choice.

thank u so so much!!!!

 

[Raggas]

It's sad to see you're in that much pain. SN or an exit bag are probably the best options if that's what you feel comfortable with.

 

[throwaway123]

same here bro

 

[felix]

i want to ctb so bad but i feel so trapped. cant overdose, pills have high failure. i tried to hang myself twice in 2017, either i sucked at it or it just didnt work. I cant take N, not enough money. cant drive or have a car so i cant drive myself in a lake. i was thinkijg of burning coal for carbon dioxide but again i dont have a car and i dont want to endanger my family members. i was thinking of a tent in the woods but i live in sf, im a minor. there are no woods in miami and i would be interrogated by my family if i were to purchase a tent. I have a job but i get paid absolutely peanuts.

i want to go so badly. i'm tired of being trapped in this prison. i shouldve ctb in 2017 but i wanted to see if things got better and it didnt, so im ready to get the fuck out of here but it seems much more bleak.

would sleeping pills + bag over head be sufficient?

How did hanging not work for you?

 

[uglyzuko]

How did hanging not work for you?

I think i did it wrong. I tried once with a belt. I dont think i did the partial suspension correctly. Maybe the weight wasnt well distributed or it wasnt high enough. The second time was with a cable. Same thing.

I don't know where to partially suspend myself without failing/breaking somethijg. I tried both times from a doorknob leaning on my knees. I just choked myself, didnt pass out, it was uncomfortable. I read that you pass out pretty quickly. I sat there for a good 15-20 min.