Suez
Experienced
- Feb 27, 2020
- 279
Ive only ever considered a gun to CTB because i want to make sure i die. I dont want to be left on earth as a fucken vegetable. This has happened to a friend of mine, so I just cant go this way. I know there are a few other methods which are fairly reliable, but you know what its like when you get something stuck in your mind & its like that or nothing. I cant help thinking there has to be someway that i can finally acheive what i want. I live in NZ, so access to guns is difficult but its not unacheiveable in my mind. I know there are people out there with guns, many peolpe in NZ are licenced gun holders. I cant get a licence because i have a criminal record, otherwise this would have been so easy. Some years ago I used to know a few people that were associated with a couple of diff gangs here in NZ but having lost contact with them has meant this option is out for me too. Im hoping that someone in this forum is from NZ and is able to help me out? I feel like my life has been on hold for some time now. I feel like im in some kind of weird limbo....I just want out. I want it so bad. I now there may come a time where I will have to give up on my quest of what for me has been a plan in the making for many years now, but i dont want to give that method of CTB up just yet. I just hope & shit even pray (and thats not me) that things will turn around for me and a Knight in shining armour will come to my rescue and help me out? Im hoping my Knight is out there?