Hello all,
I am new to this forum as a registered member but have been a lurker for many years.
My decision to become a member and post is motivated by my strong desire now to end my life.
I have had these thoughts since my preteen years mostly motivated by last minute work on school assignments. It has now evolved into a strong determination because of several factors.
In 2022 I took an interest in hiking. But I constantly was worried of having a bowel movements while hiking and not having a place to relieve myself. This fear trickled into my daily existence where now I am constantly in fear of having a bowel movement and a toilet is not readily available. It may sound bizarre, it is for me, but this fear has stopped me from pursuing jobs because I fear having a bowel movement while I am in the car or somewhere else when a toilet is not available.
To add to this, towards the end of 2022, I developed overactive bladder (OAB). For those who do not know OAB is a strong and uncontrollable desire to urinate. It has gotten progressively worse where now my urge comes instantly (no feeling of needing to pee prior to sudden urge) and if I do not find a bathroom within 5 minutes I easily urinate my pants. This has created a lot of anxiety for me as you can imagine and I do not go outside that frequently anymore because of this fear.
Finally, my work career has been a series of positions that I fortunately landed that required very little effort from me. My career area is in finance, but I do not and have not learned anything about finance. I am now at a senior level because of my age and experience yet I do not have the basic knowledge to compete in this area. Due to the worsening bathroom conditions (OAB, bowel movements) I no longer want to work and have not been for almost a year now. I live with my parents.
I am thinking of using SN as my method. to confirm this is sodium nitrite?
Also, I am in Turkey, and I need help procuring SN. It seems that is sold openly on ecommerce platforms but would like confirmation that this is the case preferably from a user in Turkey that has successfully procured this agent.
I plan on writing a short note asking for forgiveness from my parents. I know my mom especially will be hard hit with my passing, but I want her to continue her life, same as my dad and sister.
Thank you for reading
bump would appreciate anyone in Turkey who can help me get SN
I am new to this forum as a registered member but have been a lurker for many years.
My decision to become a member and post is motivated by my strong desire now to end my life.
I have had these thoughts since my preteen years mostly motivated by last minute work on school assignments. It has now evolved into a strong determination because of several factors.
In 2022 I took an interest in hiking. But I constantly was worried of having a bowel movements while hiking and not having a place to relieve myself. This fear trickled into my daily existence where now I am constantly in fear of having a bowel movement and a toilet is not readily available. It may sound bizarre, it is for me, but this fear has stopped me from pursuing jobs because I fear having a bowel movement while I am in the car or somewhere else when a toilet is not available.
To add to this, towards the end of 2022, I developed overactive bladder (OAB). For those who do not know OAB is a strong and uncontrollable desire to urinate. It has gotten progressively worse where now my urge comes instantly (no feeling of needing to pee prior to sudden urge) and if I do not find a bathroom within 5 minutes I easily urinate my pants. This has created a lot of anxiety for me as you can imagine and I do not go outside that frequently anymore because of this fear.
Finally, my work career has been a series of positions that I fortunately landed that required very little effort from me. My career area is in finance, but I do not and have not learned anything about finance. I am now at a senior level because of my age and experience yet I do not have the basic knowledge to compete in this area. Due to the worsening bathroom conditions (OAB, bowel movements) I no longer want to work and have not been for almost a year now. I live with my parents.
I am thinking of using SN as my method. to confirm this is sodium nitrite?
Also, I am in Turkey, and I need help procuring SN. It seems that is sold openly on ecommerce platforms but would like confirmation that this is the case preferably from a user in Turkey that has successfully procured this agent.
I plan on writing a short note asking for forgiveness from my parents. I know my mom especially will be hard hit with my passing, but I want her to continue her life, same as my dad and sister.
Thank you for reading
bump would appreciate anyone in Turkey who can help me get SN
Last edited:
