Venting want to CTB but scared and in love

[silkwings]

i really want to CTB but out of fear, SI, and being in love with someone for 3 years has me stuck.
lack of access to anything to help me CTB and motivation to plan has me in a choke hold already...
my boyfriend is the one thing keeping me going and we have plans for when we're older! i want to spend my life with him. but being a gay couple has us targeted already by adults.
he's keeping me going but i want to CTB so bad.
anyone else have this dilemma???? is CTB not the path i should take just yet??

 

[floaxed]

Have you tried telling him how you feel about yourself? I think you should tell him what you're feeling, keep him updated. Don't just go out of nowhere.

 

[Someone123]

i really want to CTB but out of fear, SI, and being in love with someone for 3 years has me stuck.
lack of access to anything to help me CTB and motivation to plan has me in a choke hold already...
my boyfriend is the one thing keeping me going and we have plans for when we're older! i want to spend my life with him. but being a gay couple has us targeted already by adults.
he's keeping me going but i want to CTB so bad.
anyone else have this dilemma???? is CTB not the path i should take just yet??

It's your own decision, but being in love, especially in a relationship that has lasted three years- wihg long term plans- is a very good reason not to. Loneliness financial issues, abuse, addictions, and physical health issues are usually the main reasons for ctb. For loneliness you have the toughest piece, but you n eed a larger network of family and friends support to help with loneliness. Possibly you could share ideas fore wanting to ctb to see if people here might have ideas that could help.

 

[Aisley]

Not yet. Move out, find a city, (assuming you live in a country where it's at least legal to be gay?) Move to a city and you'll find less people targeting you over this. Gay people have developed the skill to form new families when necessary, and life opens up in ways you didn't think would be options for you. Give yourselves a chance to experience life. If it's possible, of course. I'm just assuming you're in a country where that's possible. Take care.

 

[silkwings]

Have you tried telling him how you feel about yourself? I think you should tell him what you're feeling, keep him updated. Don't just go out of nowhere.

we're both in similar mindsets with this yet we're trying to keep going for the sake of leaving our families and moving in together soon. this dilemma is stressful on us both but we wouldnt leave each other suddenly!

It's your own decision, but being in love, especially in a relationship that has lasted three years- wihg long term plans- is a very good reason not to. Loneliness financial issues, abuse, addictions, and physical health issues are usually the main reasons for ctb. For loneliness you have the toughest piece, but you n eed a larger network of family and friends support to help with loneliness. Possibly you could share ideas fore wanting to ctb to see if people here might have ideas that could help.

thank you. ill definitely be active on this forum more about my ideas since i cant really do things on my own,, financial issues, college classes, being disabled, bullying, and family issues have us both stuck but even with being new on here ive found a lot of support directly and indirectly!! thank you again

Not yet. Move out, find a city, (assuming you live in a country where it's at least legal to be gay?) Move to a city and you'll find less people targeting you over this. Gay people have developed the skill to form new families when necessary, and life opens up in ways you didn't think would be options for you. Give yourselves a chance to experience life. If it's possible, of course. I'm just assuming you're in a country where that's possible. Take care.

yes being gay is legal here! but our town is very conservative sadly. i want to experience life with him like you suggested but i wish it would come sooner. school goes by so slow and i cant get a job yet due to gas prices and vehicle availability here but i think ill be doing this. life is hard but people here are supportive and i have my bf! thank you!!