Venting Wake up, I’m gonna ruin your day :)

[Kat!]

I woke up feeling terrible today, physical wise mostly, throat was not feeling too good and I'm exhausted. My dad was finally leaving this morning and he wanted me to say goodbye, of course no one cared to warn me beforehand but I was okay with it for the time being.

So I came into the living room and sat down, absolutely nothing for a good 15 minutes, and then he came around the corner so I could finally say goodbye.

I stood up and he said "what's wrong?"

And I replied "I'm running on like 2 hours of sleep, I'm not feeling well."

Andddd of course his tone immediately switched to angry from nice in a second,
"Well maybe you shouldn't have been gaming all night."
Right here I knew exactly where it was going because he already derails so many fucking moments like this. No dad, I was not gaming, I was browsing a suicide forum.

Actually I just said, "No I wasn't but whatever."

After that I really wanted to say shit like "I have depression but not like you care anyway." Or something.. along those lines.
But we just stood there for a few seconds, he just said, completely frustrated, "Go back to sleep then." And walked away angrily.

I feel as if most of his hate towards me stems from the fact that I refuse to be bossed around, and he doesn't like that.

So yeah, even after being committed to a mental health facility and being diagnosed with depression, it didn't help my case, it just made my life even worse. Thanks for the help, fixthe26! And yes, suicide is my only and preferred option of escape.

I thought it was funny at first that my parents ignore my depression but now it actually kinda hurts.

 

[Dortydoo]

i'm so sorry you have to go trough that, i can relate to you and it sucks when your day is ruined out of nowhere. i hope you will feel better soon.

 

[Kat!]

i'm so sorry you have to go trough that, i can relate to you and it sucks when your day is ruined out of nowhere. i hope you will feel better soon.

All good here, just needed to let it out for now. I'm sorry you can relate to this nonsense :(
Thank you for the hugs, right back at you.

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

Oh, man. I can relate to that, my parents are the same way. It's like walking on eggshells around them because the littlest things set them off and they get mean, passive-aggressive. It sucks. And then when they refuse to acknowledge your depression, it's such a slap in the face. Like, you expect me to support you guys and accomodate for you, but when it's the other way around I'm just a lazy piece of shit and a bitch.

Sigh. Giving you big hugs, I'm sorry you're treated this way.

 

[Kat!]

Oh, man. I can relate to that, my parents are the same way. It's like walking on eggshells around them because the littlest things set them off and they get mean, passive-aggressive. It sucks. And then when they refuse to acknowledge your depression, it's such a slap in the face. Like, you expect me to support you guys and accomodate for you, but when it's the other way around I'm just a lazy piece of shit and a bitch.

Sigh. Giving you big hugs, I'm sorry you're treated this way.

Exactly! My mom ignores me back and forth for the tiniest inconveniences or things I may say.
This time I'm at least glad I could pin down a reason (albeit a dumb one) so I can sleep at night. Hopefully one day they'll learn.
I give the big hugs too, thank you for your kindness.

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

Exactly! My mom ignores me back and forth for the tiniest inconveniences or things I may say.
This time I'm at least glad I could pin down a reason (albeit a dumb one) so I can sleep at night. Hopefully one day they'll learn.
I give the big hugs too, thank you for your kindness.

Lmao we must have the same parents. I feel like I'm usually ignored, and it seems like oftentimes they don't even listen. Basic, non-mental health example: I make a remark and they hear me, but then they make the same remark literally a minute later, as if they just realized some new thing and it was their idea. Even though I just said the same thing. I tell them I literally just said that and they're like "oh", if they even answer

...sorry if that's not what you meant.

 

[Ghost2211]

It's really sad to hear how he invalidates your feelings both emotional and physical. I'm glad you're able to see that how he is talking to you is wrong, and is a problem with him not you. It's interesting how these situations felt when my parents did it, and now being a parent hearing how other parents do it. I would hate myself if I made my kids that way. I have to wonder where it goes wrong with parents, and how they loose the compassion and understanding they often have when their kids are babies or toddlers. My heart goes out to you. Parents should hear their children.

 

[x~Sophia~x]

I can see this from both points of view... I don't know where you father is going, and how long for, but it's nice that he wanted to say goodbye to you. Maybe you could've tried to think of him for 15 minutes and then jumped straight back into bed when he'd gone.
I don't know any of your 'story' but you say you've been diagnosed with depression, I'm assuming you've been prescribed medication for your depression? If yes, how long have you been taking it and do you think it's not helping to lift your mood? If you don't think it's working, then you should go back to your prescriber and ask to try something else.
Lack of good sleep can also be a cause of depression, so maybe you can browse the Suicide forum in the evening, and try to get a good 8 hours sleep, you may find that's enough to lift your mood somewhat.
These are just suggestions of course, as I said, I don't know your story, only what you've told us in this post... and I don't believe parents should walk on eggshells around their child because they suffer with depression, they should be treat normally, whilst also making themselves approachable when their child needs to offload and seek help if things get too much for the child.
I hope this helps... :)

 

[Kat!]

Lmao we must have the same parents. I feel like I'm usually ignored, and it seems like oftentimes they don't even listen. Basic, non-mental health example: I make a remark and they hear me, but then they make the same remark literally a minute later, as if they just realized some new thing and it was their idea. Even though I just said the same thing. I tell them I literally just said that and they're like "oh", if they even answer

...sorry if that's not what you meant.

Well I'm all too familiar with odd behavior like that from other people, not quite my parents though.. interesting, but that sounds annoying too. I hope it doesn't happen very often.

It's really sad to hear how he invalidates your feelings both emotional and physical. I'm glad you're able to see that how he is talking to you is wrong, and is a problem with him not you. It's interesting how these situations felt when my parents did it, and now being a parent hearing how other parents do it. I would hate myself if I made my kids that way. I have to wonder where it goes wrong with parents, and how they loose the compassion and understanding they often have when their kids are babies or toddlers. My heart goes out to you. Parents should hear their children.

I really don't know where some parents lose that bond. I assume it's mainly around the preteen phase when the child is becoming independent but, that doesn't mean it has to be lost! I feel like it is half my fault though, instead of talking face to face for some situations I tend to distance myself, which is what I think I may have done. They were abusive when I was a child so I didn't have much of an option anyway. I'm glad good people like you have children.

I can see this from both points of view... I don't know where you father is going, and how long for, but it's nice that he wanted to say goodbye to you. Maybe you could've tried to think of him for 15 minutes and then jumped straight back into bed when he'd gone.
I don't know any of your 'story' but you say you've been diagnosed with depression, I'm assuming you've been prescribed medication for your depression? If yes, how long have you been taking it and do you think it's not helping to lift your mood? If you don't think it's working, then you should go back to your prescriber and ask to try something else.
Lack of good sleep can also be a cause of depression, so maybe you can browse the Suicide forum in the evening, and try to get a good 8 hours sleep, you may find that's enough to lift your mood somewhat.
These are just suggestions of course, as I said, I don't know your story, only what you've told us in this post... and I don't believe parents should walk on eggshells around their child because they suffer with depression, they should be treat normally, whilst also making themselves approachable when their child needs to offload and seek help if things get too much for the child.
I hope this helps... :)

I tried but he seemed like he was going to start something from the beginning honestly. I do have medication but they're at my old house and I do not have access to them, they didn't really help though.
While I agree that we shouldn't be treated that way, it's just hard to say what normal is, when this is normal.

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

I have to wonder where it goes wrong with parents, and how they loose the compassion and understanding they often have when their kids are babies or toddlers.

Perhaps it's due to their past with their own parents, or they're just too caught up with their own frustrations. I personally don't think it's an excuse, but these are just possible explanations.

Well I'm all too familiar with odd behavior like that from other people, not quite my parents though.. interesting, but that sounds annoying too. I hope it doesn't happen very often.

Ahh, sorry. Didn't mean to hijack the thread...

 

[Kat!]

Perhaps it's due to their past with their own parents, or they're just too caught up with their own frustrations. I personally don't think it's an excuse, but these are just possible explanations.

Ahh, sorry. Didn't mean to hijack the thread...

No worries, you can vent on my vent posts too

 

[x~Sophia~x]

Kat, your medication is important to your recovery and is no good if you're not taking it, just as severe lack of sleep isn't good for you.
If your meds weren't helping, you must see your prescriber and tell them, otherwise you're not going to feel any better any time soon.

 

[WornOutLife]

suicide is my only and preferred option of escape.

I feel like this!

Anyway, I'm sorry you're feeling like this. Living with my parents was hell. They thought I was gaming all nights too and I was actually here and googling anything related to suicide and depression.
It's a shame some parents can't even understand their children!

Send you lots of hugs and love and hope things get better!

 

[x~Sophia~x]

I really agree!

Anyway, I'm sorry you're feeling like this. Living with my parents was hell. They thought I was gaming all nights too and I was actually here and googling anything related to suicide and depression.
It's a shame some parents can't even understand their children!

Send you lots of hugs and love and hope things get better!

I really don't think you should be encouraging Kat to take her own life, there are other ways of sorting out her life without resorting to suicide.
Compromise is what's needed in circumstances like this.
And I don't think it matters whether you're up all night gaming, watching Netflix or scrolling a suicide forum. The point is, that you're awake all night instead of sleeping.
And how are parents supposed to understand their children if their children aren't honest and open with them? Of course most teenagers are secretive and do things their parents wouldn't approve of, and that's one of the reasons parents can't 'understand' them, they're not mind readers.
@Kat! You have many options to enable you to get (back) on track, I've suggested a few in previous posts. I am really concerned that you feel your only way of escape is suicide... and I'm even more concerned that a member is agreeing with you.

 

[Kat!]

I really don't think you should be encouraging Kat to take her own life, there are other ways of sorting out her life without resorting to suicide.
Compromise is what's needed in circumstances like this.
And I don't think it matters whether you're up all night gaming, watching Netflix or scrolling a suicide forum. The point is, that you're awake all night instead of sleeping.
And how are parents supposed to understand their children if their children aren't honest and open with them? Of course most teenagers are secretive and do things their parents wouldn't approve of, and that's one of the reasons parents can't 'understand' them, they're not mind readers.
@Kat! You have many options to enable you to get (back) on track, I've suggested a few in previous posts. I am really concerned that you feel your only way of escape is suicide... and I'm even more concerned that a member is agreeing with you.

Yeah well I don't have anything else to do. I promise it's not encouraging, I've already made my choice.

 

[WornOutLife]

I really don't think you should be encouraging Kat to take her own life, there are other ways of sorting out her life without resorting to suicide.
Compromise is what's needed in circumstances like this.
And I don't think it matters whether you're up all night gaming, watching Netflix or scrolling a suicide forum. The point is, that you're awake all night instead of sleeping.
And how are parents supposed to understand their children if their children aren't honest and open with them? Of course most teenagers are secretive and do things their parents wouldn't approve of, and that's one of the reasons parents can't 'understand' them, they're not mind readers.
@Kat! You have many options to enable you to get (back) on track, I've suggested a few in previous posts. I am really concerned that you feel your only way of escape is suicide... and I'm even more concerned that a member is agreeing with you.

I would never do that! I meant that I feel that way too, unfortunately. (already edited my comment, just in case newcomers misread it)
Well, parents sometimes don't understand you, even if you're open.