Waiting, waiting and waiting..for nothing.

[LonelyPrince]

My life is just a waiting game. Waiting for something, anything, to happen.

Unfortunately I know that it's up to me if something happens or not.
Passively waiting leads to nothing.
I have no energy to actually put it into something.

I feel myself coming closer to terms with ctb.
I wake up late. Eat.
Play videogames
Watch YouTube
Call my friend and play with her
Repeat.

My friend has become my sole lifeline. I've grown obsessed with her.
It's raw pain.
Raw. fucking. pain.

I don't want to traumatize her, but I'm feeling myself slip.

 

[GoSan1]

I feel that it's the same for me, besides me having to work as well.

I only wait for death to claim me.
I put all my hopes and dreams into god in the hope that once I perish and make it to heaven, to have what I always wanted.
Sadly, my prayers have yet to bring a response, but even without, its all ill do.

I just hope suicide isnt a grave sin...

I'm not saying it would get better, but does she know of your "problems"?

 

[LonelyPrince]

I feel that it's the same for me, besides me having to work as well.

I only wait for death to claim me.
I put all my hopes and dreams into god in the hope that once I perish and make it to heaven, to have what I always wanted.
Sadly, my prayers have yet to bring a response, but even without, its all ill do.

I just hope suicide isnt a grave sin...

I'm not saying it would get better, but does she know of your "problems"?

She knows I'm depressed but that's about it.
She can't do anything about it anyway, so why burden her with the thought of knowing I'm suicidal? I'd just make her worry.

 

[GoSan1]

She knows I'm depressed but that's about it.
She can't do anything about it anyway, so why burden her with the thought of knowing I'm suicidal? I'd just make her worry.

I think its more of the thought if she deserves to know.
A truly good friend does deserve to know, for as only a buddy or something wouldn't really need to know.
I cant tell how much you two went through and how long yall know each other, but its up to you. The only thing I could honestly give advice on in your situation...

 

[LonelyPrince]

I think its more of the thought if she deserves to know.
A truly good friend does deserve to know, for as only a buddy or something wouldn't really need to know.
I cant tell how much you two went through and how long yall know each other, but its up to you. The only thing I could honestly give advice on in your situation...

We have known each other for a few months but are very close. Despite the closeness I just don't think it would do any good for me to tell. I don't like burdening others with my problems.
Realistically speaking nothing would change, I would just make her worry and make her feel a big responsibility on her part. She already deals with anxiety and I would not like to add more to that.
I understand the thought process but sometimes ignorance is bliss.

 

[GoSan1]

We have known each other for a few months but are very close. Despite the closeness I just don't think it would do any good for me to tell. I don't like burdening others with my problems.
Realistically speaking nothing would change, I would just make her worry and make her feel a big responsibility on her part. She already deals with anxiety and I would not like to add more to that.
I understand the thought process but sometimes ignorance is bliss.

I see a dilemma indeed.

Whatever choice you make, I hope it works out for you.