Waiting till death

[Archness]

Nothing really matters. Life's increasingly pointless and lonely. Something's always wrong, always feeling worthless and should do something, but can't. Could only hope to work to further indulge in pleasue and minimize the pain, that's about it.

Only living for these fleeting good moments, those moments where my mind's off how this is it, playing games and browsing the internet, it's all just to pass the time. I've practically been passing time since childhood, no goal but to enjoy myself a little. I'm not one who could make real friends or a whole family, neither do I have any serious desire anymore. It it possible to find meaning like this or am I just defective? I care less and less about anything, with no place to fit, and grow tired of the wait.

 

[kunikuzushi]

yep every single day for me is thinking of how to minimize the pain, with some rare cases of experiencing pleasure. I do this every day and as a result my life is a wreck because I don't have the energy left to do things I actually need to do. I shall wait for death with you. I'm sorry it's like this for you too.

and to answer your question, I really don't know what it means to find meaning in this life at all.

 

[Rocinante]

Very true. I only live out every day expecting something to change but I know that will never come.
It is time to give up on all hope.

 

[Huntfish34]

I agree with all of you guys, right there myself. Sick and tired of being sick and fckn tired.

 

[FuneralCry]

I don't believe that existence could ever be something that is meaningful, existence is just an unnecessary burden that serves no purpose, and all that we are doing is just passing time until we inevitably leave this world. I think that it's perfectly logical to not see this as being worth enduring and wanting to escape from all suffering.
At least to me there really is nothing to be gained by continuing to delay the inevitable, and I certainly see existence as being something that is completely undesirable in every single way possible, it's a curse to have the ability to be conscious and aware of this world. But I also feel so tired of it all, and your feelings are completely understandable.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I don't do anything even remotely that could be classified as living. Just same shit every day. No happiness. Nothing to look forward to. Don't get any good moments. The only socializing I get is with people on SS, except for an occasional store clerk. There's no point in any of this shit. I'm not going to wait around, though, for death to find me. I'm going to go looking and find it, sooner rather than later.

 

[☆AwaitingEntropy☆]

I also feel like I'm waiting, just biding my time until it feels right to go. Right now it's quite tolerable, and I'm content with creative distractions, but sometimes it can really be difficult to endure.