Venting Waiting for SN, January 3rd my last week presumably

[KleinerWolf]

It's been 24 days since I ordered SN and presumably still on its way.
I hope it comes soon.
Im just wasting time at this point.

if it arrives next week, it will be my last week.
I just know that with how unsatisfactory my life is to me, there is nothing to hold me back.
Things are so bad they feel like a lost cause to me and I've given up.

Since death end up within my close proximity,
I feel a mix of emotions and it's rather strange to me.
I notice some changes in my habits such as now overeating,
Increased reliance on alcohol,
Mood is super weird, i haven't felt depressed for a long time, and also mixed with a bit of confusion in between.
Behaviour wise, I suspect I'm becoming slightly more impulsive and irritable.

Im becoming less interested in things.
There's a sense of detachment that comes with death.
Nothing matters anymore.
It's as if I'm already dead.

 

[Nymph]

I'm gonna miss u

 

[Sakura94]

Hi Stoke, I'll definitely try my best to be here next week if you make a goodbye thread. I know what you mean by increased reliance on alcohol I started drinking recently and am enjoying it too much. Weirdly feeling better than I have in a while.

 

[WornOutLife]

January, 3rd? That's my birthday!
The end is so close! Wish you the best, dear.
You certainly deserve to be at peace.
Lots of hugs to you and I hope you make a goodbye thread to say our goodbyes better.

 

[Steamm]

All the best to you, I'm getting closer too.

 

[darksideofthebright]

Will miss you and your presence on SS but life has been so difficult for you, and you are so deserving of peace, happiness and whatever of your best interests. Sending you hugs and in the mean time, many of us are here for you and with you!

 

[This_sux ✓]

It's been 24 days since I ordered SN and presumably still on its way.
I hope it comes soon.
Im just wasting time at this point.

if it arrives next week, it will be my last week.
I just know that with how unsatisfactory my life is to me, there is nothing to hold me back.
Things are so bad they feel like a lost cause to me and I've given up.

Since death end up within my close proximity,
I feel a mix of emotions and it's rather strange to me.
I notice some changes in my habits such as now overeating,
Increased reliance on alcohol,
Mood is super weird, i haven't felt depressed for a long time, and also mixed with a bit of confusion in between.
Behaviour wise, I suspect I'm becoming slightly more impulsive and irritable.

Im becoming less interested in things.
There's a sense of detachment that comes with death.
Nothing matters anymore.
It's as if I'm already dead.

Are you sure it's not your mind's impulse? Maybe before CBT you should get some therapy for those bad moods.


But I'm not a doctor, if you accepted the death then good luck with your journey

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

Im becoming less interested in things.
There's a sense of detachment that comes with death.
Nothing matters anymore.
It's as if I'm already dead.

Very well said.... I'm sorry things have been so terrible.

 

[muffin222]

I hate that it's come to this for you, but I understand. I'm sorry you've been in so much pain lately and that things are getting worse for you instead of better. Whatever decision you make in the end, you have my support I know it's not much, but you're not alone in your pain and struggles. We're here for you

 

[Ghost2211]

I understand your position, and why you're making this choice. I've enjoyed your posts snd talking to you. You will be missed.

 

[Amumu]

You're the best of the best @StrokeMyEgoBaby, don't forget it.
I wish you could find peace, wherever it is.

 

[followingfate]

I'm planning to go then too. I wish you all the best, and hope you find peace.

 

[throughtheglass]

Sending hugs

 

[justanotherstar]

I hear you. No ones deserves this suffering. I really relate to you when you describe how unsatisfactory life is. You sure will be missed around here, I love reading your posts. I also know it's your time to find your peace though and I will feel happy for you when you receive your SN. I hope the universe doesn't keep you waiting long, even though every extra day you're here your presence will make people happy. Sending hugs

 

[sadworld]

I enjoy your posts. I'm sorry it came to this but I hope everything works out for you!

Sending and