Venting Waiting for my Sister to Graduate to CTB

[Spectre]

I don't want my siblings to derail their lives or fall behind because of me. I'm thinking that my sister's graduation can be one last good memory for my family then I'll hang myself. They'll have the summer to deal with the consequences and will hopefully be okay by September. I know I sound super selfish but I can't keep staying alive I don't belong in this world.

 

[migimortis]

You have a right to leave. Wishing you the best bro.

 

[Life_and_Death]

I don't want my siblings to derail their lives or fall behind because of me.

i dont think youre selfish. putting others before yourself is the exact opposite

 

[onbekend]

You aren't selfish at all, I wish you the best.

 

[sadcausebad]

Not selfish like other's said

 

[whats_the_point]

That's actually very thoughtful of you. I am facing something similar, I just cannot get myself to end things with my parents still being alive.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

You are not selfish. You still think about your family/siblings and how the impact of you leaving could affect them. In any case it's your personal decision.

 

[dinosavr]

The fact that you even take it under consideration makes it not selfish at all!
People die, it's normal, and usually no one gets to choose when it happens. As human beings, we need to deal with it and be somehow prepared to handle death of our loved ones.

I have basically the opposite situation but on the same basis - the timing is perfect, but I'm not ready to ctb yet. And I know that my sister may get pregnant soon and I really hope she doesn't until I'm gone. I wouldn't want to ruin it for her. But we just have to accept it. It is what it is.

 

[Spectre]

The fact that you even take it under consideration makes it not selfish at all!
People die, it's normal, and usually no one gets to choose when it happens. As human beings, we need to deal with it and be somehow prepared to handle death of our loved ones.

I have basically the opposite situation but on the same basis - the timing is perfect, but I'm not ready to ctb yet. And I know that my sister may get pregnant soon and I really hope she doesn't until I'm gone. I wouldn't want to ruin it for her. But we just have to accept it. It is what it is.

what makes you sure you're not ready?

 

[dinosavr]

what makes you sure you're not ready?

I haven't been suicidal long enough to be able to try other ways out of where I am. Can't see the point now but I guess I can give it a try. (It = psychotherapy, meds, hospitals, maybe some traveling, falling in love or anything). After all, with all these options I know I'll be supported by my friends, family and the system. Or at least have what it appears to be support. Sooo there's little harm and it may be worth a try. Even if it makes perfect sense for me to die, I'm all alone and overwhelmed by it at the moment.