Voices

[Life_and_Death]

I hate the voices in my head. There's the evil ones that are always arguing and being general ass('s?). Then there's my friends voice. In other words the little voice that does right and don't kill yourself yada yada yada. I was going to cut last night. I got drunk, had another joint, was basically alone. The voices were getting worse and worse and then my friends voice showed up. "just go to bed". So I sat there for idk how long listening to the voices argue with each other and my friends voice pleading with me to don't and just got to bed. I ended up just going to bed...

I hate the voices in my head. I shouldn't have gotten drunk/high. I knew better. And I over think everything. Every possiblitiy. It makes everything feel planned and I hate that. And then the voices play off that. "you already know what's going to happen, why aren't you doing anything?" and they taunt me and don't shut up.

I'm not exactly sure where this is going anymore. I've been meaning to get drunk/high and let the voices talk in my head while my body types it out. Kind of like "see!? This is what I have to fucking live with!" I'm not 100% sure if that's a good idea. I hate talking about what goes on in my head, I feel insane, I belong in a psych ward and I even talked my friend into believing me.

I think I'll stop typing now...

 

[fufa]

I've had similar experiences when using psilocybin. Kind of distressing, but also interesting to listen to the different parts of my brain argue.
I really like listening to the friendly voice.

 

[Bat 17]

It's good that you could hear your friends voice too

 

[timf]

A number of people have "voices" with which they have to deal. These can be seen as either internal or external. If seen as internal they can be viewed as either different aspects of self or as constructs of imagination. If seen as external, they can be seen as either other people, aliens, or demons.

Regardless of how one sees the origin, the voices often create problems. One can chose to deaden the body with drugs or alcohol in an attempt to reduce their annoying influence. One can take medication with the similar objective of reducing their influence. One can attempt to manage them by commanding them to silence. This can be an interesting experiment in that if the voices are part of oneself, they should be obedient to self.

In the area of management many experiments can be conducted to determine what degree of control one can exert. For example, if one voice seems to be supportive, experiments can be conducted to see if it can be called when needed or assigned to contend with one less supportive.

If the voices are seen as external, it may be that a mental construct has developed whereby one sees oneself as fighting the forces of evil (big government, or space aliens). The demonic element is almost always limited to a religious context. Islam, Hinduism, and Christianity all speak of malevolent spiritual forces that can beset people. This is usually more often observed with those who have participated in occult practices. In Christian circles, the only remedy is to trust in Jesus.

Regardless of origins or remedies, dealing with voices can be frustrating and perplexing. In general the besetting influence seems to worsen for those directed by the voices and seems to lessen for those who can muster the ability to take control and resist.