Discussion Video Documenting SN CTB?

[NoHalfMeasures]

Hi. I'm sure there will be many mixed opinions on this, but I've been considering the idea of live-streaming/recording my death since as far as I know, there aren't any known videos of CTB via sodium nitrite except for the StrawberryPanic video.

My main reason for streaming/recording would be for education to fellow SaSu members, to show exactly what happens when following the SN protocols so people know what they might be getting into when using SN for CTB, such a symptoms, how quickly unconsciousness occurs, followed by death, etc.
I would also like to not feel alone in my final moments. I don't know why, but there is something comforting about it.
I am not sure how feasible it would be to livestream such an act without the stream being taken down or if someone would somehow send rescue services.


It's very much only an idea at the moment since I don't have a definitive CTB date as of right now. It's just a recurring thought when I do think of going through with the process. I only know that I don't want to be alone when the time comes and would like to be a resource for others if I go with the SN method.

 

[maniac116]

Hi. I'm sure there will be many mixed opinions on this, but I've been considering the idea of live-streaming/recording my death since as far as I know, there aren't any known videos of CTB via sodium nitrite except for the StrawberryPanic video.

My main reason for streaming/recording would be for education to fellow SaSu members, to show exactly what happens when following the SN protocols so people know what they might be getting into when using SN for CTB, such a symptoms, how quickly unconsciousness occurs, followed by death, etc.
I would also like to not feel alone in my final moments. I don't know why, but there is something comforting about it.
I am not sure how feasible it would be to livestream such an act without the stream being taken down or if someone would somehow send rescue services.


It's very much only an idea at the moment since I don't have a definitive CTB date as of right now. It's just a recurring thought when I do think of going through with the process. I only know that I don't want to be alone when the time comes and would like to be a resource for others if I go with the SN method.

 

[Gangrel]

you gotta be okay with you ending up in gore websites where edgy teenagers insult you

 

[NoHalfMeasures]

you gotta be okay with you ending up in gore websites where edgy teenagers insult you

I have considered this. But at that point, I'd be dead, so hopefully wouldn't have the ability to know or care.
To me It's worth getting mocked, insulted, and what have you, to make a contribution for those looking to have visual representation of what to expect from the CTB by SN.

I think one of my only fears of having a video like this online is having my family and partner see it and recognize me. I'd rather not traumatize them more. But I suppose that would be out of my control.

 

[cryone]

there already has been accurate in-depth documentation. https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/first-ever-sn-documentation.29734/ Of course, it doesn't technically hurt to have more, but I don't think it's worth all the trouble. if it's feasible & you wouldn't mind, go for it. i would personally not stream it for everyone, only a close few.

 

[NoHalfMeasures]

Thank you for the insight. I completely forgot about that written documentation and I'm grateful we have it. But that said, I suppose I have been curious mostly about the video aspect.
This is all hypothetical, since it is quite a bit of trouble to go through. And perhaps it really is enough to have written documentation from people who've witness SN suicides firsthand like with Moonicide, but part of me really wants to be the one to make a video.
Although I do like your idea of streaming to only a close few. I would hate for it to be a free-for-all, especially with the potential for adamant pro-lifers to ruin the whole thing.

This thought will sit on the back burner of my mind for a while, I think. I don't plan to rush into this decision unless forced to do so.

 

[Dignified Death]

It likely your family gonna be haunted by the fact they have a video online of you ctbing for anyone to see. You will be dead but it possible that someone might harass your family and almost a guarantee that if it goes on a gore website the comments will be quite rude to say the least. If your really adamant about going through with this I would recommend to black out the screen and only have the audio, make sure the streams ends in a hour, you don't want your family if they come first to be screaming on the livestream

 

[NoHalfMeasures]

It likely your family gonna be haunted by the fact they have a video online of you ctbing for anyone to see. You will be dead but it possible that someone might harass your family and almost a guarantee that if it goes on a gore website the comments will be quite rude to say the least. If your really adamant about going through with this I would recommend to black out the screen and only have the audio, make sure the streams ends in a hour, you don't want your family if they come first to be screaming on the livestream

Thank you for this. This honestly puts things in perspective quite a bit. My biggest concern is hurting those I love.
If I were to go through with this, I would really need to plan it well to make it worthwhile. More stuff for me to think about.
Honestly, the more I think about doing a video livestream, the more it scares me due to the chance of traumatizing my family if they discovered the video.
Thinking it over today, I think the biggest thing is wanting to offer the opportunity to be documented in a clinical way. I would hope a visual (video) would be helpful to people, though maybe it's not necessary.
Maybe I would just do a video call with one or a few trusted people and only record my audio to document as much as I can during the SN process.

 

[shadow999]

OP there is a video out there of a young lady taking it, at least showing her after she took it. She shows her nails eventually turn blue and she looks very peaceful in it. Eventually she passes out and knocks the camera over so you don't see much, the video is short anyways. I think she was a user here, strawberry something. If you're interested I hope you can find it.
Best wishes.

 

[thenorthern]

Hi. I'm sure there will be many mixed opinions on this, but I've been considering the idea of live-streaming/recording my death since as far as I know, there aren't any known videos of CTB via sodium nitrite except for the StrawberryPanic video.

My main reason for streaming/recording would be for education to fellow SaSu members, to show exactly what happens when following the SN protocols so people know what they might be getting into when using SN for CTB, such a symptoms, how quickly unconsciousness occurs, followed by death, etc.
I would also like to not feel alone in my final moments. I don't know why, but there is something comforting about it.
I am not sure how feasible it would be to livestream such an act without the stream being taken down or if someone would somehow send rescue services.


It's very much only an idea at the moment since I don't have a definitive CTB date as of right now. It's just a recurring thought when I do think of going through with the process. I only know that I don't want to be alone when the time comes and would like to be a resource for others if I go with the SN method.

I wish you nothing but the best but I would not recommend it. People will be able to research without you having your body online. It is all your choice of course but I would not do it.

 

[thenorthern]

you gotta be okay with you ending up in gore websites where edgy teenagers insult you

This is the big thing. It is quite disturbing the comments on suicides.

 

[NoHalfMeasures]

Thank you all. I have definitely considered all the replies here. Leaning away from the idea of live-streaming (at least very publicly) due to the possibility of traumatizing my family on many different levels.

 

[TraumaEscapee:)]

There's also Phoebe's video someone else who live streamed their SN ctb.