D
draw a circle
out.
- Apr 10, 2020
- 300
I had a good week in my cousin's place but it's just me pushing back my anxiety. Now I'm back home, it's midnight and I kinda want to cry. It's on stupid things so I'm gonna list them here cuz nobody would listen and I'm not up to being judged.
I cut my hair but regretted it. I just paid this semester's tuition and that means I have to work on my thesis again. I keep being reminded (by myself) that I skipped some important things that I should've done before now. I'm worrying about how I might really be in the wrong in my one-sided fight with my friend (I was angry at them but mostly disappointed and hurt, and they don't care that I'm angry). I'm scared that they'd see me as toxic if I keep being like this (depressed and anxious) and cut me off (unlikely but plausible). I really wanted to just attempt anything at ctb, don't have to be successful as long as there's no permanent side effect, just so I don't have to waste my time explaining, but it's too late that I probably should do it for real. God fuckin dammit I'm just really anxious and I just remembered I drank quite a strong coffee this evening and wondering if it has anything to do with this? I might never drink a coffee anymore tbh.
I hate crying so I'm not gonna do it (and my parents would notice if I am, my house doesn't have a lot of privacy) but holy shit I'm like super close. I wish I can talk to my friend but I'm scared I'm gonna get ignored and I think I'll break down if they ignore me one more time.
Who knows what I would do if I were living alone... I feel like I would be the type of person that died alone in a dingy apartment during a lockdown because I was already depressed and nobody is there to stop me. Anyway I'm just gonna go to sleep for preferably forever but I'll take 70 years. Please let me sleep for 70 years
I cut my hair but regretted it. I just paid this semester's tuition and that means I have to work on my thesis again. I keep being reminded (by myself) that I skipped some important things that I should've done before now. I'm worrying about how I might really be in the wrong in my one-sided fight with my friend (I was angry at them but mostly disappointed and hurt, and they don't care that I'm angry). I'm scared that they'd see me as toxic if I keep being like this (depressed and anxious) and cut me off (unlikely but plausible). I really wanted to just attempt anything at ctb, don't have to be successful as long as there's no permanent side effect, just so I don't have to waste my time explaining, but it's too late that I probably should do it for real. God fuckin dammit I'm just really anxious and I just remembered I drank quite a strong coffee this evening and wondering if it has anything to do with this? I might never drink a coffee anymore tbh.
I hate crying so I'm not gonna do it (and my parents would notice if I am, my house doesn't have a lot of privacy) but holy shit I'm like super close. I wish I can talk to my friend but I'm scared I'm gonna get ignored and I think I'll break down if they ignore me one more time.
Who knows what I would do if I were living alone... I feel like I would be the type of person that died alone in a dingy apartment during a lockdown because I was already depressed and nobody is there to stop me. Anyway I'm just gonna go to sleep for preferably forever but I'll take 70 years. Please let me sleep for 70 years
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