busrider
Member
- Aug 10, 2024
- 35
I want to CTB asap. My original plan was to do a partial hanging in the early summer, but something went wrong. While I was looking for more information, on YouTube I found an interview with a mother whose son committed suicide using inert gas. And already looking for information on inert gases I came to this site and learned about SN, which is now my method. I was supposed to CTB at the end of summer, but due to my depression I ordered SN too late. Initially I ordered 2 times from one site (something like AMAZON), but the results of the test said that the purity of SN was insufficient. Now I ordered from the chemical store with good reviews + I had to order new test strips.
I just received a message that my SN has been transferred to the transport company (exact date of arrival is not yet known, but it will take about a week). The package with test strips and distilled water I can pick up on September 11th.
if everything goes well, by the end of next week I will get the SN and check it (pray with me so that this time the purity would be sufficient)
The main problem is the place. I live with my parents and sister. We live not in a private house, but in apartment (i.e. here is quite good audibility and I'm just afraid to wake someone up if I vomit). I spent my savings to order several times SN, AE and other stuff (water, scales, pipette, etc). So now I don't have enough money to rent a hotel room, but I think by the end of September I will be able to save enough.
I don't know what this post should be. It's just another proof that I can't do anything right. If I had just started to care about it earlier, I wouldn't have to suffer now at university. I need to keep up my grades, I can't just skip all classes, otherwise someone from the study department will just text my parents :/
It's hard for me to even exist now. I want to finally be free. all my free time I sleep or cry. Just hope it will be over soon
I just received a message that my SN has been transferred to the transport company (exact date of arrival is not yet known, but it will take about a week). The package with test strips and distilled water I can pick up on September 11th.
if everything goes well, by the end of next week I will get the SN and check it (pray with me so that this time the purity would be sufficient)
The main problem is the place. I live with my parents and sister. We live not in a private house, but in apartment (i.e. here is quite good audibility and I'm just afraid to wake someone up if I vomit). I spent my savings to order several times SN, AE and other stuff (water, scales, pipette, etc). So now I don't have enough money to rent a hotel room, but I think by the end of September I will be able to save enough.
I don't know what this post should be. It's just another proof that I can't do anything right. If I had just started to care about it earlier, I wouldn't have to suffer now at university. I need to keep up my grades, I can't just skip all classes, otherwise someone from the study department will just text my parents :/
It's hard for me to even exist now. I want to finally be free. all my free time I sleep or cry. Just hope it will be over soon
