darkenmydoorstep
Not Waving But Browned Off….
- Sep 27, 2023
- 620
The way a dog goes round in circles before taking a piss. That's how I am with this stuff, round and round and round and round.
Want to end it. It physically hurts too much so I wuss out and can't. I figure I have no other choice but to try and make it work, I start climbing back up again only to have another shed load of stress thrown at me and knock me right back down again right to the bottom, start going round in circles.
I feel like I'm in a computer game that keeps reloading and starting me back in the same place and I never move on or die.
Just stuck wanting to turn the bloody thing off. Me. Will I ever have the balls to smash the fucking thing (me) up instead of continuing to 'play'.
Sadly I think I know the answer.
Want to end it. It physically hurts too much so I wuss out and can't. I figure I have no other choice but to try and make it work, I start climbing back up again only to have another shed load of stress thrown at me and knock me right back down again right to the bottom, start going round in circles.
I feel like I'm in a computer game that keeps reloading and starting me back in the same place and I never move on or die.
Just stuck wanting to turn the bloody thing off. Me. Will I ever have the balls to smash the fucking thing (me) up instead of continuing to 'play'.
Sadly I think I know the answer.
