Venting vent ( ignore please, i'm sorry )

[Buh-bye!]

i don't like socializing at all now. i have been with my own self for months now and i have tried every effort i could make to make people dissapear from my real life. as in me being away from them. i know they hurt and i know they
re more trouble than good but the main reason is somewhat the pleasure i get by being alone for a time so long that i then start to believe there are no humans outside of my world. i feel good in that little sphere and i know it's bad to do something like that if you want to live but sine i want to die it doesn't really matter. albeit i also don't want people to disappear as long as i am alive since i want them to exist but just not be able to be around me ( too often ). i think i want them to value me when i go away for too long ? i am a sucker for attention i know that so maybe that's the thing.
now nothing i said i mean in an evil manner, neither in one that anyhow hurts someone. i often find myself being very apathetic but this isn't true because i know i can be empathetic. i just i am glad no one judges me here or at the very least even if they do they understand. love the place love the people wish i could provide you'all with a magical wish of anything you want somehow while having one for me too
wants and needs both are to be considered

 

[Endless_suffering]

I'm the same actually. Haven't been texting anyone, but for posting and commenting on this site in quite some time. People are beginning to notice. I just say I'm tired from ECT and it's nothing personal. But truth be told I just don't feel like talking anymore to people I know. They always go like "what's wrong with you?!" And my close friends snitch to my therapist or husband or worse call my neighboring cops who turn me in and I just can't anymore…

 

[Buh-bye!]

I'm the same actually. Haven't been texting anyone, but for posting and commenting on this site in quite some time. People are beginning to notice. I just say I'm tired from ECT and it's nothing personal. But truth be told I just don't feel like talking anymore to people I know. They always go like "what's wrong with you?!" And my close friends snitch to my therapist or husband or worse call my neighboring cops who turn me in and I just can't anymore…

i think that's one of the reasons for me not socializing too. they just a throw a " what's wrong with you?! " over whatever you tell them. or the worse, they start comparing your problems to theirs. now wanting our own things to be heard by someone is selfish definitely but i don't really know what's selfish and what's not anymore. if you put the selfish shit out of your life you don't have much to live an exceptional life with, do you

having people snitch like that sounds horrific, people who do that should understand why one came to them and instead of the latter on the first place. sorry for you bud

I just say I'm tired from ECT

if i may, what's ECT ?

 

[Endless_suffering]

E

i think that's one of the reasons for me not socializing too. they just a throw a " what's wrong with you?! " over whatever you tell them. or the worse, they start comparing your problems to theirs. now wanting our own things to be heard by someone is selfish definitely but i don't really know what's selfish and what's not anymore. if you put the selfish shit out of your life you don't have much to live an exceptional life with, do you

having people snitch like that sounds horrific, people who do that should understand why one came to them and instead of the latter on the first place. sorry for you bud

if i may, what's ECT ?

Electro convulsive therapy. Like drs causing seizures on purpose to try to cause new neuron growth I think. Or rewire your brain to treat depression