Venting vent abt parents

[sadmarmoset]

i just overheard my mom on a phone call talking about how a couple months ago hospital staff told her im suicidal and made plans, and that now shes living in near constant fear about how im gonna kill myself.
the anxiety is crazy ass news to me because she acts very resentful and angry towards me ever since ive tried to hold her accountable for childhood and ongoing abuse, about a year ago. i think shes kicked me out three times in the past year and she recently compared me to my rapist, just to paint a picture. she hasnt spoken to me in a week and i think that was when she announced shes charging me rent. its annoying that shes kinda acting like she cares, or maybe she really does, yet shes done literally nothing to express it. its cuts super deep to not even have your parents like you. idk im really just venting here but does anyone else have shitbag parents that make them miserable? does it get better lol???

 

[Slark]

i just overheard my mom on a phone call talking about how a couple months ago hospital staff told her im suicidal and made plans, and that now shes living in near constant fear about how im gonna kill myself.
the anxiety is crazy ass news to me because she acts very resentful and angry towards me ever since ive tried to hold her accountable for childhood and ongoing abuse, about a year ago. i think shes kicked me out three times in the past year and she recently compared me to my rapist, just to paint a picture. she hasnt spoken to me in a week and i think that was when she announced shes charging me rent. its annoying that shes kinda acting like she cares, or maybe she really does, yet shes done literally nothing to express it. its cuts super deep to not even have your parents like you. idk im really just venting here but does anyone else have shitbag parents that make them miserable? does it get better lol???

I also have problems with my parents. My father incurred a lot of debt and ran away. I still remember the collectors coming to my house to collect it. My mother was always aggressive, she basically beat me a few times, and used various physical punishments on me and my brothers. After my father left, she became involved in several toxic relationships, including with an alcoholic who broke everything at home and beat her in front of me and my brothers. Meanwhile I was being bullied at school. I've lived through real hell and I know how cruel and toxic parents can destroy a person's life. I really hope that you are well, that you find something that makes you happy, whatever that may be.

 

[G000pie]

Could be she's just scared of the inconvenience of dealing with your death. Funerals are expensive. People ask questions about suicide, blame the parents... maybe she's scared of getting into legal trouble if you told anyone about her abuse. Or maybe she's genuinely concerned, who knows.

My mom is the same in some ways. One of the kindest, most empathetic people I know... but also one of the most coldhearted and cruel. Of course it plants seeds of doubt in me every time we talk, making me question myself, making me feel guilty... because that's what she does.

I will say it's a thousand times better now that we don't live together. I have a mini panic attack before and after every visit. Keep my meds on hand, have a cup of tea to relax after... I still want to kill myself soon but I'm just glad to be gone from her. I still remember one time when I was maybe 15, she said "I can't wait to be rid of you". Well, I'll be glad to be rid of her when I'm gone from this world.