hoppybunny
Fearer of the Future
- Jun 26, 2024
- 29
A little context but I moved to the US from Nigeria with my family at around 12 years old and um my grandmother passed away this march on Easter.
I'm not feeling as awful as I did when I initially wrote this but I posted this in the vent Chanel on a server I'm in with some friends and got no response and someone went after me and got a bunch of responses and even though they apologized and I'm not mad at anyone in the server I'm still sad that I was ignored. So I decided to share it here.
I haven't been home in almost 8 years and I missed so much of my family's life. My cousin just turned 11 and he was just a Lil baby when I last saw him. I wasn't able to hold his brother when he was born and he'll be like 7 soon. He's not gonna know who I am. That makes me so sad.
I miss my home so bad. I miss seeing people who look and act like me.
Even though I hate back home cause I won't be able to be myself and the economy and government are terrible sometimes I wanna go back home so bad. I miss it so much.
If I was home I would've been there with my grandma. I miss her so much.
I was listening to All the stars by kendrick Lamar and Sza and it's a soundtrack from the movie black panther and it just really made me miss home so much so I ended up crying. It got worse when I then remembered Chadwick Boseman passed away and he's an actor that's dear to me despite me only knowing him as T'chala. But his death got me even sadder and then I just remembered the scene where he sees his dad in the afterlife and I know my grandma is In heaven waiting for me and I'll be able to see her the way T'chala saw his dad but I still miss her so much.
I'll never be able to hear her sing again, or eat her cooking or hug her again while.im alive and it just sucks so much.
I still wasn't even able to go to her funeral cause flight to.nigeria are so expensive. So I couldn't even say bye to her.
I hate my country for being so shitty and I hate that my parents moved even though they did the right thing and gave me a better life.
My life here has been super depressing but I know I would've been worse back home but there's just so many things back home I miss.
I miss the street snacks. I miss the way we have mass back home. I miss not having natural disasters. I miss not having to deal with racism. If we had 24/7 power back home and i wouldnt get ostrasized for being no binary I would move back.in a heartbeat. My only regret would be leaving my best friend behind.
Honestly I would ask for public transportation too but the state I live in rn barely has any and I don't plan on moving since my bestie is here.
I'm not feeling as awful as I did when I initially wrote this but I posted this in the vent Chanel on a server I'm in with some friends and got no response and someone went after me and got a bunch of responses and even though they apologized and I'm not mad at anyone in the server I'm still sad that I was ignored. So I decided to share it here.
I haven't been home in almost 8 years and I missed so much of my family's life. My cousin just turned 11 and he was just a Lil baby when I last saw him. I wasn't able to hold his brother when he was born and he'll be like 7 soon. He's not gonna know who I am. That makes me so sad.
I miss my home so bad. I miss seeing people who look and act like me.
Even though I hate back home cause I won't be able to be myself and the economy and government are terrible sometimes I wanna go back home so bad. I miss it so much.
If I was home I would've been there with my grandma. I miss her so much.
I was listening to All the stars by kendrick Lamar and Sza and it's a soundtrack from the movie black panther and it just really made me miss home so much so I ended up crying. It got worse when I then remembered Chadwick Boseman passed away and he's an actor that's dear to me despite me only knowing him as T'chala. But his death got me even sadder and then I just remembered the scene where he sees his dad in the afterlife and I know my grandma is In heaven waiting for me and I'll be able to see her the way T'chala saw his dad but I still miss her so much.
I'll never be able to hear her sing again, or eat her cooking or hug her again while.im alive and it just sucks so much.
I still wasn't even able to go to her funeral cause flight to.nigeria are so expensive. So I couldn't even say bye to her.
I hate my country for being so shitty and I hate that my parents moved even though they did the right thing and gave me a better life.
My life here has been super depressing but I know I would've been worse back home but there's just so many things back home I miss.
I miss the street snacks. I miss the way we have mass back home. I miss not having natural disasters. I miss not having to deal with racism. If we had 24/7 power back home and i wouldnt get ostrasized for being no binary I would move back.in a heartbeat. My only regret would be leaving my best friend behind.
Honestly I would ask for public transportation too but the state I live in rn barely has any and I don't plan on moving since my bestie is here.
