Validation&Hope vs Toxic Positivity

[Beautifulletdown]

I came across this chart today. It made me feel a bit better because it confirmed my feelings weren't wrong when people said these things.

 

[pole]

iv been saying this for so long, its literally why so many people struggle with talking and venting to people. because theres only very few people who genuinly care and understand. when someone genuinly cares and understand, you can tell through their words, and how much there trying to get what they mean across to you, through the types of validation and hopes on the left. then theres those who blindlessly pour positive affection onto you, because they believe its the right thing to do. but i dont blame them for that, sometimes its good, its the right attitude, but for the wrong seasons because they truly dont mean it and arent genuine, they just throw it out there because its the norm to be positive; failing to understand theres more to just blindless posivity, empathizing, truly caring and understanding goes A LONG WAY, than these "itll get better!".

 

[h0wd1rtygurlsST4Yc1n]

FUCK TOXIC POSITIVITY! its normal to have a bad fucking day i hate people like that. its like the how are you people who get all but hurt when you are like fucking shitty leave me alone.

 

[Beautifulletdown]

iv been saying this for so long, its literally why so many people struggle with talking and venting to people. because theres only very few people who genuinly care and understand. when someone genuinly cares and understand, you can tell through their words, and how much there trying to get what they mean across to you, through the types of validation and hopes on the left. then theres those who blindlessly pour positive affection onto you, because they believe its the right thing to do. but i dont blame them for that, sometimes its good, its the right attitude, but for the wrong seasons because they truly dont mean it and arent genuine, they just throw it out there because its the norm to be positive; failing to understand theres more to just blindless posivity, empathizing, truly caring and understanding goes A LONG WAY, than these "itll get better!".

You're much better than me because I do blame them. If they want to be there for you they would want to understand what you're going through. They simply don't care.

 

[pole]

You're much better than me because I do blame them. If they want to be there for you they would want to understand what you're going through. They simply don't care.

some of them dont realize it though sadly, and iv have people in my life on both sides of this. some really dont have the basic common sense to grasp the fact that their blindless positivity isnt gonna help in any way most of the time, and some do which genuinly wanna understand and notice and see that, which makes them wanna go the extra step and say more to connect with the person whos hurt.

 

[WinterIsComing]

I talked to someone i know...i told her i had depression and she said: bUt yOU kNOW IT iS yOur ResPonSabILITy RIgHt?
Ok...then she followed with the questions....why don't you make Friends? ..me: i don't think people would like someone with depression....

she: but why? Life is beatiful! bUt but you know depression is yOur ResPonSabILITy RIgHt right?( Again)

It was like talking to a wall, i tried explaining depression and she took "the is your responsability card"

How much different would have been if at least said son ir the symptoms of depression así a way to understand and then if she wanted, take the "responsability" card

 

[Melly]

I don't know why, but usually only the "toxic positivity" answers of this chart would make me feel better.

The "validation and hope" versions in this chart would always trigger my suicidality. It's like the person is telling me to just kill myself - because anything that isn't 100% positive my brain will twist to only see the negative.
As an example: You've done hard things before and I believe in you. -> Things have always been hard and will always be.

I know other people who work the same.
Different things work for different people.

 

[clownangel]

I love this. The right side of this chart is helpful for some of my friends but I definitely lean into responses more like the left because the other side never seems genuine coming out of my mouth.

 

[ArtsyDrawer]

Preach, brother!
Can't... can't tell if it's alright to call you "brother"...
I've honestly pondered printing those out and spamming the entire city I live in with them.
Knowing the city I live in, though, people would learn to turn the validation part toxic too.

 

[ots]

Not 100% certain, but I'm pretty sure this is from a book called 'The Reality Slap - How to Find Fulfillment When Life Hurts'. I never finished it because my motivation to read waned, but it certainly has some helpful advice. It's hard to find a self help book that doesn't come off as shiny happy, but that one isn't too bad.

 

[Boochky]

Not 100% certain, but I'm pretty sure this is from a book called 'The Reality Slap - How to Find Fulfillment When Life Hurts'. I never finished it because my motivation to read waned, but it certainly has some helpful advice. It's hard to find a self help book that doesn't come off as shiny happy, but that one isn't too bad.

Yeah I miss my desire to read. Thanks for the info.

 

[sleepy dog]

It seems like most people don't care. Many people simply don't know how to help in many situations. So they try to say something "positive". They try to encourage, they don't know what else to do.

 

[noaccount]

The left side made me smile. :)

 

[snowman626]

Its comments like "just be happy" that i dont tell people im suicidal. As if i can just put a stupid grin on my face and go "iM hApPy NoW" so fucking retarded these comments