D
DOHARDTHINGS24
Arcanist
- Apr 30, 2024
- 432
Please help.
This is a rough draft of my protocol & it's very last minute - my decision is not.
I gave myself a "deadline" of not seeing in 2025 (hell, it's even my user name!) & I'm definitely sticking to this, but my protocol is not ready.
I have a bunch of reasons / excuses for this like traumatic brain injury plus ADHD & just a phone - no laptop or other devices - & no digital or physical privacy (coercive control living situation).
These things are separate as to WHY I want to CTB - while it's appreciated, I don't need any help regarding escaping or recovery etc.
The decision is made, it will not be unmade.
I've posted here a lot but as per above, I remember very little of it & have not been able to screengrab anything or even handwrite much. I just don't have the privacy.
I'm super open to critique - I welcome / beg of you to all pile on - the more the merrier!!
Feel free to speak to me like I'm an idiot (that's how I feel in this process) - no holds barred. Point out the obvious - I've forgotten much more than I remember, ffs.
Or please just bump - my bus is already on it's way & I'm climbing aboard, whether I'm ready or not.
I'd rather be ready , hence the more the merrier, the quicker the better. I have follow up questions I'll add to this later, I just wanted to post asap. Time matters.
But then I'll (hopefully) finally stop bugging people with dumb questions - if you help me be successful, I'll stop being annoying
Incentive
I cannot do a proper trial of my AE. I know that most side effects take hours, days or weeks. Hence doing stat dose. And it's completely possible I'll get none at all. None. I know that. But I cannot afford to take chances. I read up a lot yesterday regarding MY personal situation, current medications & my AE (not meto). The research & drug interaction checkers said its likely I'll have some sort of side effect, even with just one dose. The most likely side effects are:
- drowsiness, sedation, confusion
- blurred vision, hallucinations & falls
- extrapyramidal uncontrollable movements like jerkiness, tremors & seizures.
This is not ideal for being competent to make the SN or to be confident for success.
I know this doesn't apply to everyone, I know none of it might happen but anxiety has me wanting to be prepared for worst case. Which is a long way of saying I'm going to make 2 cups of SN before AE & a third after AE. Because what do I do if the AE fucks me up?? Plus anxiety...
I plan to stop eating heavy
meals & restrict thick & coloured liquids as far in advance as possible.
The below is based on 8 hour fast, not sure if that long is necessary - I've seen 4 hours to 24 hours listed here plus pph just says "several".
Stat dose SN protocol
4.00pm
stop food
minimal clear liquids only
10.00pm
stop drinking
11.00pm
using digital scales, measure out 2 separate batches of 25 grams of SN (DMC) - for visual reassurance only, each batch should be approx 4 teaspoons.
mix each batch of SN with 50ml of plain, room temperature water (increasing to a maximum of 100ml to ensure fully dissolved & drinkable).
Each batch will be stored in separate dark, sealed jars, away from light & heat & labelled.
DO NOT DRINK YET
precrush valium / diazepam as well, without mixing with water, but have a sealed container of water ready for later
Dose yet to be determined, see below - maybe 100mg? maybe 200mg?
12.00am / midnight
take AE
Prochlorperazine
Dose yet to be determined, see below - "probably" 20mg
After 12.00am / midnight
if capable (no major AE side effects), make a third cup of SN following the same process as above & label.
decide which cup of SN to be cup 1 - if not impaired, I'll use the freshest first.
mix precrushed valium / diazepam with container of water, using a separate style container than the 3 cups of SN to avoid confusion, using minimal water.
use minimal amount of throat numbing spray
12.40am / middle of night
drink first cup SN
if vomit, drink cup 2 immediately
if vomit, drink cup 3
take valium / diazepam crushed in water
lay down on right side
wait & pray for my bus
Unsure whether to take any painkillers or not, if I do it will be paracetamol.
I won't be taking any beta
blockers/ PPI / antacid / anything additional to above.
OMG - you have no idea how long that took to tap out on a phone
Longer than it took me to prepare.
I really hope it was worth it
Any help appreciated.
I'm desperate (but have been before) but this time my bus is coming soon. This will be my first ever attempt & I need success & i need it soon & I need help to make that happen.
There's a real urgency here.
I literally might not have time to go back & read the advice already given to me which I feel really shit about...
If you can help, please do.
Or bump.
Please don't derail with questions about sources & stuff - I really NEED this to be about ME.
Please.
Extra info about AE & Benzo's below.
Any help with dosages would be amazing.
I've got more questions but no more time. I'm just gonna post this right now without editing, that's how much of a hurry I'm in. ️ ️
Prochlorperazine
Pph says 10mg on one page & 10-20mg on another...
The information for my brand (which doesn't mention CTB as an option ) says a max of 40mg in one day over 3 doses for vomiting or max of 60mg over 4 doses for schizophrenia.
Valium / diazepam
Pph says 500mg, so does Vizzys bible, athiestjoe says 300mg, converters range from 150-1200mg, with most saying 200-300. As that's based on whole pills on a full stomach & crushing & fasting will flood my system quick.
I weigh 55 -ish kilos, am old but not old enough for exit & regularly take Benzo's but not at high doses.
So maybe 100-200mg valium / diazepam??
I'm concerned about anxiety & am considering taking half a tablet of temazepam (not crushed) after seeing if AE sedates me, to take the edge off. I know it's adding another med & to keep simple but I'm much more confident with temazepam, that it won't impair me the way valium would.
This is a rough draft of my protocol & it's very last minute - my decision is not.
I gave myself a "deadline" of not seeing in 2025 (hell, it's even my user name!) & I'm definitely sticking to this, but my protocol is not ready.
I have a bunch of reasons / excuses for this like traumatic brain injury plus ADHD & just a phone - no laptop or other devices - & no digital or physical privacy (coercive control living situation).
These things are separate as to WHY I want to CTB - while it's appreciated, I don't need any help regarding escaping or recovery etc.
The decision is made, it will not be unmade.
I've posted here a lot but as per above, I remember very little of it & have not been able to screengrab anything or even handwrite much. I just don't have the privacy.
I'm super open to critique - I welcome / beg of you to all pile on - the more the merrier!!
Feel free to speak to me like I'm an idiot (that's how I feel in this process) - no holds barred. Point out the obvious - I've forgotten much more than I remember, ffs.
Or please just bump - my bus is already on it's way & I'm climbing aboard, whether I'm ready or not.
I'd rather be ready , hence the more the merrier, the quicker the better. I have follow up questions I'll add to this later, I just wanted to post asap. Time matters.
But then I'll (hopefully) finally stop bugging people with dumb questions - if you help me be successful, I'll stop being annoying
Incentive
I cannot do a proper trial of my AE. I know that most side effects take hours, days or weeks. Hence doing stat dose. And it's completely possible I'll get none at all. None. I know that. But I cannot afford to take chances. I read up a lot yesterday regarding MY personal situation, current medications & my AE (not meto). The research & drug interaction checkers said its likely I'll have some sort of side effect, even with just one dose. The most likely side effects are:
- drowsiness, sedation, confusion
- blurred vision, hallucinations & falls
- extrapyramidal uncontrollable movements like jerkiness, tremors & seizures.
This is not ideal for being competent to make the SN or to be confident for success.
I know this doesn't apply to everyone, I know none of it might happen but anxiety has me wanting to be prepared for worst case. Which is a long way of saying I'm going to make 2 cups of SN before AE & a third after AE. Because what do I do if the AE fucks me up?? Plus anxiety...
I plan to stop eating heavy
meals & restrict thick & coloured liquids as far in advance as possible.
The below is based on 8 hour fast, not sure if that long is necessary - I've seen 4 hours to 24 hours listed here plus pph just says "several".
Stat dose SN protocol
4.00pm
stop food
minimal clear liquids only
10.00pm
stop drinking
11.00pm
using digital scales, measure out 2 separate batches of 25 grams of SN (DMC) - for visual reassurance only, each batch should be approx 4 teaspoons.
mix each batch of SN with 50ml of plain, room temperature water (increasing to a maximum of 100ml to ensure fully dissolved & drinkable).
Each batch will be stored in separate dark, sealed jars, away from light & heat & labelled.
DO NOT DRINK YET
precrush valium / diazepam as well, without mixing with water, but have a sealed container of water ready for later
Dose yet to be determined, see below - maybe 100mg? maybe 200mg?
12.00am / midnight
take AE
Prochlorperazine
Dose yet to be determined, see below - "probably" 20mg
After 12.00am / midnight
if capable (no major AE side effects), make a third cup of SN following the same process as above & label.
decide which cup of SN to be cup 1 - if not impaired, I'll use the freshest first.
mix precrushed valium / diazepam with container of water, using a separate style container than the 3 cups of SN to avoid confusion, using minimal water.
use minimal amount of throat numbing spray
12.40am / middle of night
drink first cup SN
if vomit, drink cup 2 immediately
if vomit, drink cup 3
take valium / diazepam crushed in water
lay down on right side
wait & pray for my bus
Unsure whether to take any painkillers or not, if I do it will be paracetamol.
I won't be taking any beta
blockers/ PPI / antacid / anything additional to above.
OMG - you have no idea how long that took to tap out on a phone
Longer than it took me to prepare.
I really hope it was worth it
Any help appreciated.
I'm desperate (but have been before) but this time my bus is coming soon. This will be my first ever attempt & I need success & i need it soon & I need help to make that happen.
There's a real urgency here.
I literally might not have time to go back & read the advice already given to me which I feel really shit about...
If you can help, please do.
Or bump.
Please don't derail with questions about sources & stuff - I really NEED this to be about ME.
Please.
Extra info about AE & Benzo's below.
Any help with dosages would be amazing.
I've got more questions but no more time. I'm just gonna post this right now without editing, that's how much of a hurry I'm in. ️ ️
Prochlorperazine
Pph says 10mg on one page & 10-20mg on another...
The information for my brand (which doesn't mention CTB as an option ) says a max of 40mg in one day over 3 doses for vomiting or max of 60mg over 4 doses for schizophrenia.
Valium / diazepam
Pph says 500mg, so does Vizzys bible, athiestjoe says 300mg, converters range from 150-1200mg, with most saying 200-300. As that's based on whole pills on a full stomach & crushing & fasting will flood my system quick.
I weigh 55 -ish kilos, am old but not old enough for exit & regularly take Benzo's but not at high doses.
So maybe 100-200mg valium / diazepam??
I'm concerned about anxiety & am considering taking half a tablet of temazepam (not crushed) after seeing if AE sedates me, to take the edge off. I know it's adding another med & to keep simple but I'm much more confident with temazepam, that it won't impair me the way valium would.
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