freedompass
Warlock
- Jan 27, 2021
- 768
I watch a lot of true crime and I love it. Pretty much discovered the genre a few months ago and now I'm just hooked. I watch several different youtubers who put out this type of content. They're all female and interestingly most of the audience for true crime is female too.
Well. I watch a lot, I mean a LOT, of missing persons cases. As well as the darker content of actual murders, abductions and kidnappings. Looking back at my life I feel pretty fortunate that I never became a statistic of some sort! I have been in soooo many dodgy situations. It's crazy the danger I would put myself in during manic episodes when I was younger. I would literally go out and prowl the streets in the middle of the night! I would hang out with street people. Occasionally do drugs. I would get picked up by random men. It is so frightening to remember. I used to try and joke about or minimise it but it really isn't funny.
I attracted predators because I was so obviously vulnerable and acting strange. I could have upset or annoyed the wrong person. All it would have taken is to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. I could have got myself killed.
It's sad that neither of my parents seemed to realise I needed protection. In summer of 1995 I went to my dad's place. I must have been at least 4 months pregnant and had no idea. I was psychotic and doubt I was taking my meds regularly. I asked him for money to go to Paris and he just gave it to me. I went and put myself in a lot of danger (that's a whole other story). On another occasion I remember being with my mum in London. We were standing on a Tube platform and she told me to hold my stomach in. She had noticed it looked big and still didn't twig?!? Just thought I'd put on weight? WTF!!
Both parents in denial there was anything wrong with me or that I might need protection. I had no family in London whatsoever and my acquaintances here were mostly other people with mental health issues. Can't really say I had friends. Oh I did have one, tell a lie. She was an alcoholic but a sweet person who came to watch over me when I gave birth in hospital. She sat there for 25 hours altogether and I ended up having an emergency C section. Bless her heart, she passed away about 10 years ago.
There were also times in my childhood where something bad could have happened. Like, I used to go for solitary walks in fields and woods. Sometimes with the dog.
I virtually never go out after dark now. I wouldn't feel safe at all.
Well. I watch a lot, I mean a LOT, of missing persons cases. As well as the darker content of actual murders, abductions and kidnappings. Looking back at my life I feel pretty fortunate that I never became a statistic of some sort! I have been in soooo many dodgy situations. It's crazy the danger I would put myself in during manic episodes when I was younger. I would literally go out and prowl the streets in the middle of the night! I would hang out with street people. Occasionally do drugs. I would get picked up by random men. It is so frightening to remember. I used to try and joke about or minimise it but it really isn't funny.
I attracted predators because I was so obviously vulnerable and acting strange. I could have upset or annoyed the wrong person. All it would have taken is to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. I could have got myself killed.
It's sad that neither of my parents seemed to realise I needed protection. In summer of 1995 I went to my dad's place. I must have been at least 4 months pregnant and had no idea. I was psychotic and doubt I was taking my meds regularly. I asked him for money to go to Paris and he just gave it to me. I went and put myself in a lot of danger (that's a whole other story). On another occasion I remember being with my mum in London. We were standing on a Tube platform and she told me to hold my stomach in. She had noticed it looked big and still didn't twig?!? Just thought I'd put on weight? WTF!!
Both parents in denial there was anything wrong with me or that I might need protection. I had no family in London whatsoever and my acquaintances here were mostly other people with mental health issues. Can't really say I had friends. Oh I did have one, tell a lie. She was an alcoholic but a sweet person who came to watch over me when I gave birth in hospital. She sat there for 25 hours altogether and I ended up having an emergency C section. Bless her heart, she passed away about 10 years ago.
There were also times in my childhood where something bad could have happened. Like, I used to go for solitary walks in fields and woods. Sometimes with the dog.
I virtually never go out after dark now. I wouldn't feel safe at all.
