Unfortunately, I am back

[Empty Smile]

Well, here I am again.... I can't say my plan failed, except to the point of being caught before I could start and see if I succeed.

When I went into the woods New Year's Eve, I found a great spot, EXCEPT, I failed to notice that there was a house not to far away. The people in that house noticed my campfire I had going and called the fire Dept to report a fire. Police and 3 firetrucks show up.

Needless to say, it was downhill from there. After being questioned by police, and seeing my set up for a suicide, I was arrested for trespassing, arson, and disorderly conduct (yes, I was being a royal dick).

Two days later I appear in court for bail hearing, only to find out there wouldn't be any bail.

Apparently, the people in the house that reported the fire, owns the land I was on, was notified by police, who told them of my suicide attempt on their property.

They showed up at my hearing and told the judge they wanted the charges against me dropped and suggested that I needed help, not jail. The judge ask me what I thought about going to a hospital for help. I told him I couldn't afford it.

He said that I had a choice, whether I could afford it or not, hospital or jail. If I chose hospital, I was to remain for 90 days for evaluation and to see if I would be able to function in society as a normal person. Or, jail for 6 months, then to be handed over to mental health officials for evaluation. Of course, I chose hospital. I then had the apologize and thank the couple for refusing to press charges, and if I violated my hospital order, I would be arrested and put in jail for the six months.

So for 3 months, I sat with a bunch of lunatics. Keeping so much shit to myself and not saying much. Never told them I still have plans to off myself.

I found out the police had raided my cellphone. And since I only use this site in "incognito mode", they were unable to find any sites that would assist them. Any messages I had texted, I had deleted and they found nothing. I made sure my phone was clean as possible, even though I was going to throw it into the fire, which was foiled by them showing up.

I was released April 2nd, and for the last several days, tried to decide if I wanted to come back here or not. But reality struck and I knew that this place is the only place I feel comfortable.

So until I succeed at suicide, you guys are still stuck with me.

 

[Sunlight99]

A campfire is considered arson?

 

[Spiko]

What suicide method do you wanted to make?

 

[Empty Smile]

A campfire is considered arson?

Apparently so if it's on private property without permission. Idk...

What suicide method do you wanted to make?

I was going with CO in tent, and if that failed, hanging.

 

[couragetodie]

What exactly do you think were the police looking for on your phone?

 

[sadsoul]

I'm sorry you were caught. But welcome back :) Honestly I would go crazy if I were stuck in a mental hospital for so long. I hope your experience wasn't too bad. Gosh I hate the mental health system so much, no wonder no one seeks help

 

[AmbleNorth]

Good lord. That sounds awful - sorry you had to go through that. How did you keep yourself sane in one of those hospitals? I spent a brief time at one and it was horrendous. I cannot imagine 3 months. You have a much stronger mind than I.

 

[marcusuk63]

Well, here I am again.... I can't say my plan failed, except to the point of being caught before I could start and see if I succeed.

When I went into the woods New Year's Eve, I found a great spot, EXCEPT, I failed to notice that there was a house not to far away. The people in that house noticed my campfire I had going and called the fire Dept to report a fire. Police and 3 firetrucks show up.

Needless to say, it was downhill from there. After being questioned by police, and seeing my set up for a suicide, I was arrested for trespassing, arson, and disorderly conduct (yes, I was being a royal dick).

Two days later I appear in court for bail hearing, only to find out there wouldn't be any bail.

Apparently, the people in the house that reported the fire, owns the land I was on, was notified by police, who told them of my suicide attempt on their property.

They showed up at my hearing and told the judge they wanted the charges against me dropped and suggested that I needed help, not jail. The judge ask me what I thought about going to a hospital for help. I told him I couldn't afford it.

He said that I had a choice, whether I could afford it or not, hospital or jail. If I chose hospital, I was to remain for 90 days for evaluation and to see if I would be able to function in society as a normal person. Or, jail for 6 months, then to be handed over to mental health officials for evaluation. Of course, I chose hospital. I then had the apologize and thank the couple for refusing to press charges, and if I violated my hospital order, I would be arrested and put in jail for the six months.

So for 3 months, I sat with a bunch of lunatics. Keeping so much shit to myself and not saying much. Never told them I still have plans to off myself.

I found out the police had raided my cellphone. And since I only use this site in "incognito mode", they were unable to find any sites that would assist them. Any messages I had texted, I had deleted and they found nothing. I made sure my phone was clean as possible, even though I was going to throw it into the fire, which was foiled by them showing up.

I was released April 2nd, and for the last several days, tried to decide if I wanted to come back here or not. But reality struck and I knew that this place is the only place I feel comfortable.

So until I succeed at suicide, you guys are still stuck with me.

Attempted suicide was punishable by death, usually hanging in Great Britain until 1961 but the death penalty was rarely exercised as punishment ...

 

[Psilo]

Attempted suicide was punishable by death, usually hanging in Great Britain until 1961 but the death penalty was rarely exercised as punishment ...

Thats funny, I've read that in my country it was until 1789.

 

[Empty Smile]

What exactly do you think were the police looking for on your phone?

Anything to bust my ass wit

I'm sorry you were caught. But welcome back :) Honestly I would go crazy if I were stuck in a mental hospital for so long. I hope your experience wasn't too bad. Gosh I hate the mental health system so much, no wonder no one seeks help

Yea, it definitely sucks. It's not my first time in them though.

 

[marcusuk63]

ridiculous , we are prisoners in a world George Orwell couldn't even imagine . we are told we live in a free society but we are far from it .

 

[Empty Smile]

Good lord. That sounds awful - sorry you had to go through that. How did you keep yourself sane in one of those hospitals? I spent a brief time at one and it was horrendous. I cannot imagine 3 months. You have a much stronger mind than I.

Its not always easy. But I have a tendency to keep to myself anyway, so it helps.

Attempted suicide was punishable by death, usually hanging in Great Britain until 1961 but the death penalty was rarely exercised as punishment ...

Wish it was enforced here. I wouldn't have to go through so much shit.

ridiculous , we are prisoners in a world George Orwell couldn't even imagine . we are told we live in a free society but we are far from it .

Society has never been free. You're a slave to the big man one way or another.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

Well, here I am again.... I can't say my plan failed, except to the point of being caught before I could start and see if I succeed.

When I went into the woods New Year's Eve, I found a great spot, EXCEPT, I failed to notice that there was a house not to far away. The people in that house noticed my campfire I had going and called the fire Dept to report a fire. Police and 3 firetrucks show up.

Needless to say, it was downhill from there. After being questioned by police, and seeing my set up for a suicide, I was arrested for trespassing, arson, and disorderly conduct (yes, I was being a royal dick).

Two days later I appear in court for bail hearing, only to find out there wouldn't be any bail.

Apparently, the people in the house that reported the fire, owns the land I was on, was notified by police, who told them of my suicide attempt on their property.

They showed up at my hearing and told the judge they wanted the charges against me dropped and suggested that I needed help, not jail. The judge ask me what I thought about going to a hospital for help. I told him I couldn't afford it.

He said that I had a choice, whether I could afford it or not, hospital or jail. If I chose hospital, I was to remain for 90 days for evaluation and to see if I would be able to function in society as a normal person. Or, jail for 6 months, then to be handed over to mental health officials for evaluation. Of course, I chose hospital. I then had the apologize and thank the couple for refusing to press charges, and if I violated my hospital order, I would be arrested and put in jail for the six months.

So for 3 months, I sat with a bunch of lunatics. Keeping so much shit to myself and not saying much. Never told them I still have plans to off myself.

I found out the police had raided my cellphone. And since I only use this site in "incognito mode", they were unable to find any sites that would assist them. Any messages I had texted, I had deleted and they found nothing. I made sure my phone was clean as possible, even though I was going to throw it into the fire, which was foiled by them showing up.

I was released April 2nd, and for the last several days, tried to decide if I wanted to come back here or not. But reality struck and I knew that this place is the only place I feel comfortable.

So until I succeed at suicide, you guys are still stuck with me.

This sounds like a nightmare. I can't even put into words how angry and disappointed I am. I wish I could give you a hug. I'm logging off now because I'm overcome with bitterness. Best of luck to you finding peace as you see fit. Again, really, really sorry.

 

[Empty Smile]

This sounds like a nightmare. I can't even put into words how angry and disappointed I am. I wish I could give you a hug. I'm logging off now because I'm overcome with bitterness. Best of luck to you finding peace as you see fit. Again, really, really sorry.

It's all in the game of life.... (((Hugs anyway)))

 

[Boonks]

Attempted suicide was punishable by death, usually hanging in Great Britain until 1961 but the death penalty was rarely exercised as punishment ...

That's hilarious
I'm so so so sorry. That's so effed up. It's hilarious they think being locked up in a psych ward is going to heal you. Why can't they bring the death penalty back!

 

[Dead beat dad]

Well, here I am again.... I can't say my plan failed, except to the point of being caught before I could start and see if I succeed.

When I went into the woods New Year's Eve, I found a great spot, EXCEPT, I failed to notice that there was a house not to far away. The people in that house noticed my campfire I had going and called the fire Dept to report a fire. Police and 3 firetrucks show up.

Needless to say, it was downhill from there. After being questioned by police, and seeing my set up for a suicide, I was arrested for trespassing, arson, and disorderly conduct (yes, I was being a royal dick).

Two days later I appear in court for bail hearing, only to find out there wouldn't be any bail.

Apparently, the people in the house that reported the fire, owns the land I was on, was notified by police, who told them of my suicide attempt on their property.

They showed up at my hearing and told the judge they wanted the charges against me dropped and suggested that I needed help, not jail. The judge ask me what I thought about going to a hospital for help. I told him I couldn't afford it.

He said that I had a choice, whether I could afford it or not, hospital or jail. If I chose hospital, I was to remain for 90 days for evaluation and to see if I would be able to function in society as a normal person. Or, jail for 6 months, then to be handed over to mental health officials for evaluation. Of course, I chose hospital. I then had the apologize and thank the couple for refusing to press charges, and if I violated my hospital order, I would be arrested and put in jail for the six months.

So for 3 months, I sat with a bunch of lunatics. Keeping so much shit to myself and not saying much. Never told them I still have plans to off myself.

I found out the police had raided my cellphone. And since I only use this site in "incognito mode", they were unable to find any sites that would assist them. Any messages I had texted, I had deleted and they found nothing. I made sure my phone was clean as possible, even though I was going to throw it into the fire, which was foiled by them showing up.

I was released April 2nd, and for the last several days, tried to decide if I wanted to come back here or not. But reality struck and I knew that this place is the only place I feel comfortable.

So until I succeed at suicide, you guys are still stuck with me.

Hi brother, I am so sorry to hear about your experience and I have nothing but admiration for your bravery, honesty and fortitude after your experience.
I've not been here long and do not know you but I honestly wish you peace brother and I hope you can find light and understanding, where ever that journey takes you.
Good luck friend.
DBD

 

[DeepSleep]

When I went into the woods New Year's Eve, I found a great spot, EXCEPT, I failed to notice that there was a house not to far away.

Nobody's perfect, but damn!! How come you didnt check the area on google maps? Are there any public land or national parks where you could go by train or bus? Yes, money is important, most people count every penny, but I would have chosen safety and reliability over simplicity and cheapness.

Anyway, welcome back! How was your stay at the madhouse? How was the food? :)

 

[lost_soul83]

Well, here I am again.... I can't say my plan failed, except to the point of being caught before I could start and see if I succeed.

When I went into the woods New Year's Eve, I found a great spot, EXCEPT, I failed to notice that there was a house not to far away. The people in that house noticed my campfire I had going and called the fire Dept to report a fire. Police and 3 firetrucks show up.

Needless to say, it was downhill from there. After being questioned by police, and seeing my set up for a suicide, I was arrested for trespassing, arson, and disorderly conduct (yes, I was being a royal dick).

Two days later I appear in court for bail hearing, only to find out there wouldn't be any bail.

Apparently, the people in the house that reported the fire, owns the land I was on, was notified by police, who told them of my suicide attempt on their property.

They showed up at my hearing and told the judge they wanted the charges against me dropped and suggested that I needed help, not jail. The judge ask me what I thought about going to a hospital for help. I told him I couldn't afford it.

He said that I had a choice, whether I could afford it or not, hospital or jail. If I chose hospital, I was to remain for 90 days for evaluation and to see if I would be able to function in society as a normal person. Or, jail for 6 months, then to be handed over to mental health officials for evaluation. Of course, I chose hospital. I then had the apologize and thank the couple for refusing to press charges, and if I violated my hospital order, I would be arrested and put in jail for the six months.

So for 3 months, I sat with a bunch of lunatics. Keeping so much shit to myself and not saying much. Never told them I still have plans to off myself.

I found out the police had raided my cellphone. And since I only use this site in "incognito mode", they were unable to find any sites that would assist them. Any messages I had texted, I had deleted and they found nothing. I made sure my phone was clean as possible, even though I was going to throw it into the fire, which was foiled by them showing up.

I was released April 2nd, and for the last several days, tried to decide if I wanted to come back here or not. But reality struck and I knew that this place is the only place I feel comfortable.

So until I succeed at suicide, you guys are still stuck with me.

I'm so sorry all that happened to you honey. We'll always be here, no matter how many times you "leave" and come back. You're always welcome here. Glad you're back.

 

[AnnihilatedAnna]

Well, here I am again.... I can't say my plan failed, except to the point of being caught before I could start and see if I succeed.

When I went into the woods New Year's Eve, I found a great spot, EXCEPT, I failed to notice that there was a house not to far away. The people in that house noticed my campfire I had going and called the fire Dept to report a fire. Police and 3 firetrucks show up.

Needless to say, it was downhill from there. After being questioned by police, and seeing my set up for a suicide, I was arrested for trespassing, arson, and disorderly conduct (yes, I was being a royal dick).

Two days later I appear in court for bail hearing, only to find out there wouldn't be any bail.

Apparently, the people in the house that reported the fire, owns the land I was on, was notified by police, who told them of my suicide attempt on their property.

They showed up at my hearing and told the judge they wanted the charges against me dropped and suggested that I needed help, not jail. The judge ask me what I thought about going to a hospital for help. I told him I couldn't afford it.

He said that I had a choice, whether I could afford it or not, hospital or jail. If I chose hospital, I was to remain for 90 days for evaluation and to see if I would be able to function in society as a normal person. Or, jail for 6 months, then to be handed over to mental health officials for evaluation. Of course, I chose hospital. I then had the apologize and thank the couple for refusing to press charges, and if I violated my hospital order, I would be arrested and put in jail for the six months.

So for 3 months, I sat with a bunch of lunatics. Keeping so much shit to myself and not saying much. Never told them I still have plans to off myself.

I found out the police had raided my cellphone. And since I only use this site in "incognito mode", they were unable to find any sites that would assist them. Any messages I had texted, I had deleted and they found nothing. I made sure my phone was clean as possible, even though I was going to throw it into the fire, which was foiled by them showing up.

I was released April 2nd, and for the last several days, tried to decide if I wanted to come back here or not. But reality struck and I knew that this place is the only place I feel comfortable.

So until I succeed at suicide, you guys are still stuck with me.

I don't think I know you, but I'm sorry that happened to you. Just wanted to say welcome back!

 

[Empty Smile]

Nobody's perfect, but damn!! How come you didnt check the area on google maps? Are there any public land or national parks where you could go by train or bus? Yes, money is important, most people count every penny, but I would have chosen safety and reliability over simplicity and cheapness.

Anyway, welcome back! How was your stay at the madhouse? How was the food? :)

I been near that area before, there's an old logging road not used anymore. I never figured on a house being in the area I went into, and I drove pretty far along that road. But it happened... Time to work on next plan, but I do know one thing, the next area I go to, is out of state, and has a massive wilderness area. No homes or buildings anywhere for miles.

As for the food at the Looney bin, ever eaten cardboard? Yes, that was the flavor of the day. Every. Damn. Day.

 

[EddieAllenPoe]

If at first you don't succeed, try try again. I have this multiverse idea that you may want to consider. I can't prove it but you also can't disprove it. The idea or "theory" goes that all those people you see "out there" that successfully committed suicide? They never actually died. They just kept on living in a universe that branched away from yours. So I would imagine if this were true... then you may want to stop trying to commit suicide (because you'll always fail) and shift focus to finding out what other things you could improve.

 

[Empty Smile]

They just kept on living in a universe that branched away from yours.

As long as I'm dead and off this planet, I can care less what universe I'm in. It's gotta be better than this shitty world we live in.

 

[EddieAllenPoe]

As long as I'm dead and off this planet, I can care less what universe I'm in. It's gotta be better than this shitty world we live in.

Yeah, I hear yuh. I'm only here because I'm in the same boat. I came to realize that there were shittier existences though. I can prove this is true because I know there are people who survive shotgun blasts to the head and who have survived 47 story falls. Add to that people living as vegetables because they failed carbon monoxide poisonings. I can see this with my own eyes. I only fear entering a "hell". It may not be like the "hell" they used to describe to some of us as kids, but they are still hells nonetheless.

 

[lululoo]

I'm so sorry this happened to you. Welcome back.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Attempted suicide was punishable by death, usually hanging in Great Britain until 1961 but the death penalty was rarely exercised as punishment ...

So you could attempt suicide and if you fail you could be punished by death ??? Sounds like a huge WIN either way.
Hell …. I would have just made it look like I was trying to do it and let them do the work for me.
I guess they realized that the person would get what they so desperately wanted and stopped it ???

 

[Memento Mori]

So you could attempt suicide and if you fail you could be punished by death ??? Sounds like a huge WIN either way.
Hell …. I would have just made it look like I was trying to do it and let them do the work for me.
I guess they realized that the person would get what they so desperately wanted and stopped it ???

if it's been rarely exercised i guess they would only do that for people who harm others with their try to ctb, and the other ones will be forced into trying to live.

 

[MistakesHappen]

hugs

 

[Lara Francis]

Well, here I am again.... I can't say my plan failed, except to the point of being caught before I could start and see if I succeed.

When I went into the woods New Year's Eve, I found a great spot, EXCEPT, I failed to notice that there was a house not to far away. The people in that house noticed my campfire I had going and called the fire Dept to report a fire. Police and 3 firetrucks show up.

Needless to say, it was downhill from there. After being questioned by police, and seeing my set up for a suicide, I was arrested for trespassing, arson, and disorderly conduct (yes, I was being a royal dick).

Two days later I appear in court for bail hearing, only to find out there wouldn't be any bail.

Apparently, the people in the house that reported the fire, owns the land I was on, was notified by police, who told them of my suicide attempt on their property.

They showed up at my hearing and told the judge they wanted the charges against me dropped and suggested that I needed help, not jail. The judge ask me what I thought about going to a hospital for help. I told him I couldn't afford it.

He said that I had a choice, whether I could afford it or not, hospital or jail. If I chose hospital, I was to remain for 90 days for evaluation and to see if I would be able to function in society as a normal person. Or, jail for 6 months, then to be handed over to mental health officials for evaluation. Of course, I chose hospital. I then had the apologize and thank the couple for refusing to press charges, and if I violated my hospital order, I would be arrested and put in jail for the six months.

So for 3 months, I sat with a bunch of lunatics. Keeping so much shit to myself and not saying much. Never told them I still have plans to off myself.

I found out the police had raided my cellphone. And since I only use this site in "incognito mode", they were unable to find any sites that would assist them. Any messages I had texted, I had deleted and they found nothing. I made sure my phone was clean as possible, even though I was going to throw it into the fire, which was foiled by them showing up.

I was released April 2nd, and for the last several days, tried to decide if I wanted to come back here or not. But reality struck and I knew that this place is the only place I feel comfortable.

So until I succeed at suicide, you guys are still stuck with me.

So sorry to hear your situation.I swear to god that would be the type of thing that would happen to me.!
Glad you stayed out of prison and managed to get through so long in hospital (i take my hat off to you for that ).
A warm welcome back.x