N
now_or_never
Member
- May 20, 2021
- 16
It's difficult for me at this moment. I experience insomnia, and other side effects of psychiatric medication, plus my habitual avolition. Death seems appealing because it would end my suffering for good, yet I cannot make up my mind to take the necessary steps. I feel trapped in my life, yet I am unable order two bottles of N to end it all. And with the global shortage, my window of opportunity might be closing.
Maybe it is just that my suffering is still bearable, or maybe it is just my survival instincts. In my mind I imagine taking the N, and falling in a deep slumber for ever, it is so appealing, yet I am unable to order it.
I feel like a failure for this. My life is quite meek, yet I can't finish it...
Maybe it is just that my suffering is still bearable, or maybe it is just my survival instincts. In my mind I imagine taking the N, and falling in a deep slumber for ever, it is so appealing, yet I am unable to order it.
I feel like a failure for this. My life is quite meek, yet I can't finish it...