Ugh

[Notevenalittle]

I hate this. I don't even have words. I can't imagine what runs through someone's mind where instead of fixing their mistakes they just give you sleeping pills once you're upset enough to hide in bed. Like, you seriously just drugged me to sleep in hopes I'd just not be mad tomorrow?

 

[LaVieEnRose]

It's hard for some people to take responsibility for mistakes. Would you like to share some more detail about what's going on?

 

[Notevenalittle]

It's hard for some people to take responsibility for mistakes. Would you like to share some more detail about what's going on?

Honestly thought I'd have been asleep by now.

I had a "fight" with my boyfriend who lives with me. Except, a fight with him isn't really a fight so much as he gets upset that I'm upset. So today he asked me a question regarding scheduling as tonight is my first night on sleeping pills and not smoking myself to sleep. I thought his plan was a bad one, then told him my version. Then I complained that cleaning off my desk would be effort, because I've complaining all day about how dead exhausted I was and my personality is one to be overdramatic in a theatric way, which we both know. He said ok then never mind we'll go back to watching shows. I disagreed, he told me I didn't want to play anyways, then proceeded to watch the show. I was 100% just looking at my phone, never once looked at the screen. Eventually just balled up on the couch. After the show he tried to move me to my next activity and I explained that I was tired and since we're trying to get my sleep schedule to give me every during the days and tired at night, what he did made no sense and essentially meant I could only just veg out till bed at this point. Pointed out that that was my reasoning for the plan that he just ignored.
Instead of having any actual conversation with me, he gave me one of his generic " I'm sorry"'s regarding something that I wasn't even upset about, with no further conversation, and moped on the floor next to the couch. For an hour and a half. Then he went about the apartment, still no words to me or any attempt to smooth anything over. Eventually I got tired of laying on the couch and only having my cats interact with me, and moved to the bedroom. He brought in my sleeping pills and had me take them " since I was going to bed". We're both well aware when I'm depressed I just go into the bed and lay there for hours. I asked him if he was sure he wanted me taking them when this was the first thing he said to me in hours and asked if he was okay with that. He was. I was annoyed he was sending me to bed on another night after just not talking about the issue, then furious once I realized it was 2 hours before the time I should be taking my sleeping pills.

So TLDR, my boyfriend gave me my brand new (Never taken this dosage or taken them sober) sleeping pills 2 hours ahead of schedule to avoid apologizing for or even discussing ignoring my opinion after asking for it, or discussing that he give me the silent treatment and consoled himself because I was upset with him, again.

 

[FuneralCry]

It sounds frustrating and tiring being in that situation and in a life like this other people can certainly just make things worse. But I hope that you find relief from your suffering, best wishes.

 

[makethepainstop]

Sometimes we have to find the strength to engage with others and not get into a screaming match. Often, I'd love to be able to rock someone on their jaw. But as I don't care for jail or prison boyfriends, I don't. So I do understand a little about control and strength. Hope things can get better for you, sleeping pills are not antidepressants.