Venting Twin sister is moving out, I'm scared it'll make me more motivated to CTB

[FallenStar]

My twin sister and I have been as thick as thieves since the day we were born. We grew up playing with each other every moment that we had together and now its almost a default setting sitting and being in the same room with her. I Haven't spent longer than 5 days at a time without seeing her but she will be moving out to the big city with her boyfriend at the end of the month. I know she will be taken care of and having time apart like this was inevitable to happen to us one day in life but I fear loneliness is going to overcome me when she is gone. I work in a factory which is not very mentally stimulating work so I always find myself thinking of all the bad things about myself and qualities of life I don't enjoy. I personally have never had a boyfriend in my 22 years of life and chronically run away and self sabotage possible lovers out of fear they are going to realize how much I really do suck and how much my perceived happiness is really a mask for others. I'm scared that without her, I might finally get the courage to CTB and I really don't want to do that to her because I know it very well could ruin her relationship or life losing me like that. I love her more than anything else in this world. I hope I can hold on.

 

[Glaski]

Just because your happiness is a mask doesn't mean you suck... I hope you can hold on too

 

[eden101]

call her often? that'll help? you could tell her about how you feel

 

[WaitingPatiently]

call her often? that'll help? you could tell her about how you feel

I agree. I'm sure your sister will miss you too, and will understand if you just tell her about how you feel.