mossball
Member
- Apr 6, 2021
- 49
Trigger warning: self-harm
As title says, I'm addicted to cutting. I've been at it since the beginning of highschool. When I was 16-18 I walked about with a blade in my pocket so I could cut in public bathrooms and school bathrooms.
After a while I didn't even cut because I was stressed or anxious, I'd just cut. It became a craving like coffee. I've been addicted to coffee since I was nine years old and the feeling is the same. A constant nagging in my head. Once I cut too much and it wouldn't stop and my boyfriend was around and he made me go to the hospital to get stitched up. He was freaking out and I was only anxious because of the hospital – the cut itself was a sensation I liked. I think it's the adrenaline.
He has been watching me for a while and blocking me from getting a new blade. The one I had is dull. And now I'm under constant surveillance/house arrest and I can't do shit. The constant nagging in my head is insufferable. Sometimes I watch bread scoring videos to get that feeling, but I think that only worsens the itch.
As title says, I'm addicted to cutting. I've been at it since the beginning of highschool. When I was 16-18 I walked about with a blade in my pocket so I could cut in public bathrooms and school bathrooms.
After a while I didn't even cut because I was stressed or anxious, I'd just cut. It became a craving like coffee. I've been addicted to coffee since I was nine years old and the feeling is the same. A constant nagging in my head. Once I cut too much and it wouldn't stop and my boyfriend was around and he made me go to the hospital to get stitched up. He was freaking out and I was only anxious because of the hospital – the cut itself was a sensation I liked. I think it's the adrenaline.
He has been watching me for a while and blocking me from getting a new blade. The one I had is dull. And now I'm under constant surveillance/house arrest and I can't do shit. The constant nagging in my head is insufferable. Sometimes I watch bread scoring videos to get that feeling, but I think that only worsens the itch.